SO-OCD / HOCD

Hi I have SO-OCD aka HOCD and just want to know about what to do for ERP and also any success stories because I am scared that if I do ERP I will end up accepting the thoughts and sensations with the idea that I am gay I have been straight all my life and I have had these worries pop up before but it never bothered me much however the more the sensations of excitement in my heart or the calm sensations when I think about these ideas of being with the opposite gender increase I get more worried that I am when I don't want to be but even saying that feels like a lie to myself along with the idea that this is hocd and this is why I am scared of doing erp

NoLngrSlv2Fear

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I had some of the same fears over doing ERP (and still do sometimes as I increase intensity, but they are consistently proven untrue! ). I have been working with a therapist for about 3 weeks and am incredibly happy that I have started this process. It is not something I “want” to do at all, but the feeling at the end of an exposure is exactly as avacado3 said - feeling empowered and stronger. I strongly recommend you start the process, with a therapist to walk you through it if at all possible. It’s worth it and you can do it.

avacado3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Right! I like to think of it like being under OCD’s spell- and ERP is the antidote to that spell. It’s the craziest feeling when you do an exposure, the anxiety fades, and you realize that that thing you were so absolutely convinced of was true, was in fact, false. Sometimes I’m just in awe of our brains lmao

avacado3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I can’t speak for your experience for certain - but I will say that one of OCD’s CLASSIC tricks is saying “if this… then ___” for example - “If I do ERP, then I will realize I am gay” - but do you see how sneaky this is? Because this feels convincing - you then don’t end up doing the thing that will actually beat back the OCD - which is the ERP. So then it keeps you stuck, very effectively. The only way through is through, which sucks. It seems like you might be looking for reassurance about SOOCD recovery to prove this thought wrong- I want to warn you that finding evidence that you won’t become gay after erp will only reinforce the threat of the thought that you will. I have SOOCD myself - and what I will tell you is that what you get after an exposure is feeling empowered, feeling stronger, and you most likely will have more clarity than you did when ocd was messing with you. A couple of great exposures that have helped me is actually when I’m talking to a girl or something (I’m a heterosexual woman) who I think is pretty (because ocd has said that if I find her pretty I want to be with her) I will repeat the phrase “maybe I’m gay” in my head a couple times. It helps me to have the conversation to stay focused on while I’m doing the exposure at the same time. But you don’t have to do this if it’s too much - just an idea. Or, a script about being gay, repeating a few feared phrases over and over, looking at photos of a bunch of different people and rating them from 1-10 or “yes” or “no”. Hope this helps 🤗❤️ you got this!!!!

Anonymous246

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much I really appreciate it. I think the idea of erp just really scares me because of the idea that it increases your anxiety to help you get over it which really makes me scared as well as the uncertainty. Another question I have is that is all of the things that I mentioned in the origional post normal for hocd / so-ocd?

kitchensink234

Date posted: 23w

Advice please!

I have been really battling with my SO OCD, and I’ve recently started to have a ton of wins!!! I’m really excited about it, but as I’ve noticed myself not engaging as much… different things have popped up. Now im obsessed with people’s perception on me, and them looking at me and thinking by how I walk, how I talk, what I wear, how I move… that I am gay? And am so convinced everyone thinks that and “knows something that I don’t”. Is that typical with OCD? If so, any ERP advice on how to overcome these thoughts?

Sexual Orientation OCD

ocdsurviver

Date posted: 20w

How do y’all deal with this?

I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.

user74128588493

Date posted: 19w

hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

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SO-OCD / HOCD

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