What is happening to me!!!!!! Why am I liking and wanting these thoughts when I had never had them before in my lifeeee!!!!! I clearly have ocd because I woke up 2 years ago with these thoughts and Iv obsessed and compulsed since!!!! But now I like and want them I don’t get anxiety!!!!! How can ocd do this to you?????
I completely relate to you. I got hit with POCD about 10 years ago. It was my first major OCD attack. I was a bit younger than you are today. There was definitely a before and after. I didn’t know I had OCD until just a few months ago. So I dealt with these thoughts for years and years thinking I was turning into a monster (and things like the groinal response, and compulsions certainly didn’t help!). I dealt with the same issue of anxiety sometimes being lower. It’s apparently very normal. These thoughts, as horrifying and unwanted as they are, do lose their “shock value” a bit when you deal with them 24/7 for years. It’s like if you watched a horror movie every single day. After a while you just wouldn’t react the same way to the scary scenes. So I would say this: don’t really on your anxiety as reassurance that your POCD is incorrect in its accusations. It’s just not a reliable indicator. And if you haven’t yet, please see an OCD therapist about this. They can help you immensely.
@Pudu OCD (Sorry I refer to your age because you mentioned it in your previous post and I had started responding on it)
You are not alone I feel the same. I think it's just our brains tricking us to think it's real
A big part of healing does come from accepting that we have a mental illness. We are suffering from something we didn’t choose and is not our fault. We must recognise this, deeply accept it, and treat ourselves with the same compassion we would show someone else who is sick. I know this is hard to do, but it is an important mindset shift (one I am still working on by the way - I have always been a massive self-critic).
@Pudu OCD But that’s the thing , they feel wanted I feel like I do like them! I wake up every morning sayinf to myself I like my thoughts I’m deffo a p! And I stay there and I’m on loop with it / because once you feel that way what else is after that??? It’s rather accept your a p and live with it or die cos you can’t be it because come on no one likes accepts or gives 2 fucks about any p!
Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.
Has anyone ever just felt weird? It’s hard to explain but I just feel weird lately. I usually suffer with harm OCD and I feel like lately I’m not reacting to things I normally would. There’s certain things that will trigger me a little but then other times (like over the last few days) it’s like I feel nothing. I’ll get thoughts and because I don’t feel the physical sensation in my chest or get very emotional like I normally would it’s weird to me. Does this mean I’m liking the thoughts now? Or like I’m comfortable with those actions happening? I’m so confused. Has anyone ever gone through this?
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
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