- Username
- lbwocd
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Hate job (but do I?) OCD related?
Hi all. Bare with me as it is 5:30 AM and I just woke up with lots of anxiety. If something doesn’t make sense I apologize. Within the last few months work has been unbearable for me, but it hasn’t always been this way. I work 40 hours a week at a small town bank, I’m a people person, so I used to not mind it. Of course I was never bouncing out of bed thrilled to go to work, I mean who really is? I started to get really negative and just lazy. I realized that but just thought I just really hated it. It wasn’t till a day when my thoughts were racing and swirling that I realized I didn’t really hate it that much, it’s just my OCD! This summer has been hard for me cause I started therapy and really trying to WORK THROUGH my problems rather than suppressing them. I’ve been a rollercoaster of emotions. We also just moved into our first home this year so working 40 hours a week and having to come home and keep a house clean is a lot. I value my relaxing time so when I can’t do that I get very overwhelmed. I don’t know if this falls into my ROCD, my boyfriends family all works very hard, him included. They all value ambition and hard work. I’m thinking that that the stress maybe could be from thinking that if I just quit my job he’ll think I’m lazy and leave? Also with building our first home this year it brought on a lot of ROCD, and I think this is just common sense however after working 40 hours a week I cannot be the only one cleaning our home. It’s a lot! It’s a constant argument and I always threaten to put my 2 weeks in which I always feel shitty about after because I feel like I’m manipulating him (he NEVER tells me that I am, he just doesn’t listen lol) I just know this is related to my OCD in some way but I can’t place where it fits. It’s so hard because it really puts a damper on my mental health all together and I don’t want to be a miserable person at work. This is just a part of my OCD I haven’t been able to get ahold of yet. If anyone has experienced this I would love some advice. I might not LOVE my job, but I NEVER hated it like I do right now and I’ve been stuck for a bit now. Thank you and have a great Monday :)