- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Most OCD specialists consider TOCD a natural extension of HOCD. You’ve suffered from HOCD as well — from what I’ve seen in other posts of yours — so it makes sense you’re experiencing both. I had HOCD in the past and I’m dealing with TOCD now. I know the suffering and struggle of these themes. Don’t go down the internet rabbit hole about TOCD. It’s a compulsion and only feeds your doubts and worries. Plus there just isn’t as much info on it as HOCD and that in itself and can fuel more doubt. Stop imagining yourself as a man to “test” your reaction to it. Again, that’s a compulsion. Talk to your psychiatrist. Are they an OCD specialist? Or is this person just managing your meds? You need a proper OCD specialist who can do ERP with you. Anytime an intrusive image or thoughts comes into your mind about this say to yourself: “yeah, I guess that’s a possibility. But it’s also possible this is OCD and my confirmation bias is muddling my ability to reason right now. I don’t need an answer immediately. I’m unsure and I accept that for now.” I know being unsure is scary, but the more you can show your brain that you can accept doubt into your life without falling apart, the less of a hold these thoughts will have on you. Eventually, yeah you’ll figure this all out and feel normal again. But right now, that’s just not possible. OCD clouds our judgment with fear and fear is not how you’re going to discover anything real about yourself.
- Date posted
- 2y
@pureolife I made the mistake of going down that rabbit hole on reddit. Worst mistake of my life.
- Date posted
- 5y
when did you get OCD, and how old are you? I've been fighting TOCd for 8 months now and it's not easy but you get used to it
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t know exactly when it started . It started getting really bad about 7 months ago . But i didn’t find out it was “OCD” (I put parentheses because I’m not diagnosed) till March of this year . I’m 18 and I started battling with this thought the first time in February. Then it went away . Then again in May and June . It went away again for awhile ... and all of a sudden it’s back . This has been my money reoccurring and dreadful theme .
- Date posted
- 5y
But I can remember as a little girl having intrusive thoughts but not necessarily sexual or violent it would be about god and the universe . Or one time i kept thinking of spiders .
- Date posted
- 5y
The hardest thing IS to accept that it's just OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
ok that's better for your OCD, :)
- Date posted
- 5y
maybe too intimate, but what is your sexual orientation? Maybe some interpersonal conflict is due to orientation as with me.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m a straight female
- Date posted
- 5y
Well. I thought I was but now idk
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- 5y
lol good one
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 12w
so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out
- Date posted
- 9w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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