- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Most OCD specialists consider TOCD a natural extension of HOCD. You’ve suffered from HOCD as well — from what I’ve seen in other posts of yours — so it makes sense you’re experiencing both. I had HOCD in the past and I’m dealing with TOCD now. I know the suffering and struggle of these themes. Don’t go down the internet rabbit hole about TOCD. It’s a compulsion and only feeds your doubts and worries. Plus there just isn’t as much info on it as HOCD and that in itself and can fuel more doubt. Stop imagining yourself as a man to “test” your reaction to it. Again, that’s a compulsion. Talk to your psychiatrist. Are they an OCD specialist? Or is this person just managing your meds? You need a proper OCD specialist who can do ERP with you. Anytime an intrusive image or thoughts comes into your mind about this say to yourself: “yeah, I guess that’s a possibility. But it’s also possible this is OCD and my confirmation bias is muddling my ability to reason right now. I don’t need an answer immediately. I’m unsure and I accept that for now.” I know being unsure is scary, but the more you can show your brain that you can accept doubt into your life without falling apart, the less of a hold these thoughts will have on you. Eventually, yeah you’ll figure this all out and feel normal again. But right now, that’s just not possible. OCD clouds our judgment with fear and fear is not how you’re going to discover anything real about yourself.
- Date posted
- 2y
@pureolife I made the mistake of going down that rabbit hole on reddit. Worst mistake of my life.
- Date posted
- 5y
when did you get OCD, and how old are you? I've been fighting TOCd for 8 months now and it's not easy but you get used to it
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t know exactly when it started . It started getting really bad about 7 months ago . But i didn’t find out it was “OCD” (I put parentheses because I’m not diagnosed) till March of this year . I’m 18 and I started battling with this thought the first time in February. Then it went away . Then again in May and June . It went away again for awhile ... and all of a sudden it’s back . This has been my money reoccurring and dreadful theme .
- Date posted
- 5y
But I can remember as a little girl having intrusive thoughts but not necessarily sexual or violent it would be about god and the universe . Or one time i kept thinking of spiders .
- Date posted
- 5y
The hardest thing IS to accept that it's just OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
ok that's better for your OCD, :)
- Date posted
- 5y
maybe too intimate, but what is your sexual orientation? Maybe some interpersonal conflict is due to orientation as with me.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m a straight female
- Date posted
- 5y
Well. I thought I was but now idk
- Date posted
- 5y
lol good one
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
- Date posted
- 21w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
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