I read something where someone had TOCD and they actually became the opposite sex. I don’t want that to happen to me . I keeping begging god that I go back to normal . It’s freaking me out all of this . I literally feel like my heart is popping out of my chest because every time I get images of myself as the opposite sex I feel like a different person. I look unrecognizable, I feel sad . And I know if I did something like that I would regret it . But I really don’t know at the same time . I can’t do this . I’m supposed to see my psychiatrist today and I’m so afraid of what she will tell me

Most OCD specialists consider TOCD a natural extension of HOCD. You’ve suffered from HOCD as well — from what I’ve seen in other posts of yours — so it makes sense you’re experiencing both. I had HOCD in the past and I’m dealing with TOCD now. I know the suffering and struggle of these themes. Don’t go down the internet rabbit hole about TOCD. It’s a compulsion and only feeds your doubts and worries. Plus there just isn’t as much info on it as HOCD and that in itself and can fuel more doubt. Stop imagining yourself as a man to “test” your reaction to it. Again, that’s a compulsion. Talk to your psychiatrist. Are they an OCD specialist? Or is this person just managing your meds? You need a proper OCD specialist who can do ERP with you. Anytime an intrusive image or thoughts comes into your mind about this say to yourself: “yeah, I guess that’s a possibility. But it’s also possible this is OCD and my confirmation bias is muddling my ability to reason right now. I don’t need an answer immediately. I’m unsure and I accept that for now.” I know being unsure is scary, but the more you can show your brain that you can accept doubt into your life without falling apart, the less of a hold these thoughts will have on you. Eventually, yeah you’ll figure this all out and feel normal again. But right now, that’s just not possible. OCD clouds our judgment with fear and fear is not how you’re going to discover anything real about yourself.

when did you get OCD, and how old are you? I've been fighting TOCd for 8 months now and it's not easy but you get used to it

I don’t know exactly when it started . It started getting really bad about 7 months ago . But i didn’t find out it was “OCD” (I put parentheses because I’m not diagnosed) till March of this year . I’m 18 and I started battling with this thought the first time in February. Then it went away . Then again in May and June . It went away again for awhile ... and all of a sudden it’s back . This has been my money reoccurring and dreadful theme .

But I can remember as a little girl having intrusive thoughts but not necessarily sexual or violent it would be about god and the universe . Or one time i kept thinking of spiders .

The hardest thing IS to accept that it's just OCD.

ok that's better for your OCD, :)

maybe too intimate, but what is your sexual orientation? Maybe some interpersonal conflict is due to orientation as with me.

I’m a straight female

Well. I thought I was but now idk

lol good one