- Username
- anonymousN
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Most OCD specialists consider TOCD a natural extension of HOCD. You’ve suffered from HOCD as well — from what I’ve seen in other posts of yours — so it makes sense you’re experiencing both. I had HOCD in the past and I’m dealing with TOCD now. I know the suffering and struggle of these themes. Don’t go down the internet rabbit hole about TOCD. It’s a compulsion and only feeds your doubts and worries. Plus there just isn’t as much info on it as HOCD and that in itself and can fuel more doubt. Stop imagining yourself as a man to “test” your reaction to it. Again, that’s a compulsion. Talk to your psychiatrist. Are they an OCD specialist? Or is this person just managing your meds? You need a proper OCD specialist who can do ERP with you. Anytime an intrusive image or thoughts comes into your mind about this say to yourself: “yeah, I guess that’s a possibility. But it’s also possible this is OCD and my confirmation bias is muddling my ability to reason right now. I don’t need an answer immediately. I’m unsure and I accept that for now.” I know being unsure is scary, but the more you can show your brain that you can accept doubt into your life without falling apart, the less of a hold these thoughts will have on you. Eventually, yeah you’ll figure this all out and feel normal again. But right now, that’s just not possible. OCD clouds our judgment with fear and fear is not how you’re going to discover anything real about yourself.
@pureolife I made the mistake of going down that rabbit hole on reddit. Worst mistake of my life.
when did you get OCD, and how old are you? I've been fighting TOCd for 8 months now and it's not easy but you get used to it
I don’t know exactly when it started . It started getting really bad about 7 months ago . But i didn’t find out it was “OCD” (I put parentheses because I’m not diagnosed) till March of this year . I’m 18 and I started battling with this thought the first time in February. Then it went away . Then again in May and June . It went away again for awhile ... and all of a sudden it’s back . This has been my money reoccurring and dreadful theme .
But I can remember as a little girl having intrusive thoughts but not necessarily sexual or violent it would be about god and the universe . Or one time i kept thinking of spiders .
The hardest thing IS to accept that it's just OCD.
ok that's better for your OCD, :)
maybe too intimate, but what is your sexual orientation? Maybe some interpersonal conflict is due to orientation as with me.
I’m a straight female
Well. I thought I was but now idk
lol good one
I’m scared that I want to be a boy! I’ve been diagnosed with Harm OCD about 5 weeks ago and all of a sudden my thoughts have changed into me wanting to be a boy! I’m a 14 year old girl who’s never thought or wanted to be a boy before. I would rather the thoughts just go but sometimes the thoughts make me imagine life as a boy and it doesn’t seem that bad which then gives me anxiety because it makes me think that I might want to become a boy! I’ve always been a girly girl and loved dresses and makeup but ever since I’ve got the thought (which came out of no where) I’ve been avoiding makeup and avoiding seeing my friends! I get so scared that I might turn transgender and that I want to be a boy. Help. Is it ocd or am I trans?
Okayed me start off by day I’m not seeking reassurance so don’t give it to me . I just need to know that I’m not alone in this trans theme . This is the second month that I had this theme . It has completely ruined me . I’m not going to lie it has me a bit suicidal I feel like I’m going insane and I feel like I’m a whole different person. Like I just turned into a boy out of nowhere . And it feels very real . And I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore without second guessing myself . My brain will either tell me I look like a boy or tell me I am one . I don’t like it . But I feel like I just have to try to deal with it now . Like maybe I am a boy now ? It pains to have to “accept” something like this because I know deep down inside no matter how real it feels , I am Naja Demsyn . But my brain just won’t stop no matter what I do . I stoped the googling , I stopped the compulsions, I’ve tried the sarcasm and it still will not go away . I feel like it’s erasing my entire life . I’ve been a girl for 18 years and never questioned it and did what I enjoyed . I was happy the way I was . I had minor insecurities but I was confident as a girl growing into a woman . I wanted a husband and to be married with kids . I looked up to other woman like Beyoncé and Michelle Obama . I wanted to be like my sisters . I liked doing things like getting my nails and hair done . It made me feel good . And all of that was taken from me . It tells me I hate my body , I hate my face . Can’t stop getting images of myself as a boy . Tells me I’m not really In love with my boyfriend and I never liked boys . It’s told me that I was really like this my entire life . Sometimes it even makes up little scenarios of the past as if I’ve questioned my gender before . This has to be the worst theme that has ever happened to me . I legit can not take it . I feel like I won’t recover from this and I am going to be forced to be something I never wanted to be and live unhappy. And this is where the suicidal thoughts come in . If I can’t be myself than what’s the point of living ? It associates me with Every man I see as if I am there equal . And I’m not and I don’t want to be . And I keep praying that it will go away and nothing works . I don’t know what else to do my options are getting limited I’m getting more depressed and life is getting so much more evil than it was before . Someone please give me some kind of advice at least on how to deal with this or what may happen to me . I’m scared , I’m lonely and I feel like dying .
people with TOCD, please lmk if you feel like this I’ve always been happy with the gender I’ve been. Female . A girl. Doing girly girl things such as makeup , fashion , doing nails, and etc and have never once thought about switching my gender . I like my body and have been comfortable with whom I’ve been. And I’ve always been comfortable with my she/her pronouns and all that stuff . But ever since I got TOCD it’s like “do you?” And I think it’s creating false feeling and false thoughts. Like I’ve never thought about being the opposite gender and I’ve never liked male items but now every time idk I try to do an “ exposure “ I’m like “a dress or a suit” and my brain would pick a suit but I’ve never wanted to wear a suit . I would want to wear a dress and it makes me feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I’m already a man?? Like I’m not sure :( but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I already got used to it and I’m like “wow I severely need a therapist now to help me” I don’t want a penis but I get intrusive thoughts about you do and coming out to my family and stuff like that’. I don’t like or want to look masculine but I think my brain wants to but I don’t :( that’s why I feel like I’m in denial but I really don’t want to :( It feels like my personality just completely switched like that In an instant . I don’t want to be a man but I got used to this feeling :( My friend also did a tarot card reading on me and told me I’m in some sort of denial which I don’t wanna believe since she’s absolutely new .
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