Forging Ahead even Amidst Uncertainty

When I first started therapy I literally thought I was losing my mind. But I am so thankful that God answered my prayer by leading me to a website on scrupulosity which mentioned NOCD. Thanks to NOCD and my amazing therapist (Carnice McFarland) I am reclaiming my life and learning who I really am. Some of my values are changing and I’m reconnecting with others. I’ve come a long way so far and I’m proud of myself. I still have a ways to go though. I have to take this thing day by day, moment by moment even, but I’m doing the work. Some days are harder than others. There are times where I wonder will I ever be better and I can say that I’m better now. It’s all a matter of perspective. I’ve lived 35 years of my life with OCD and I didn’t know until Feb of this year. I can now see that I’ve been dealing with a bunch of different subtypes over the course of my life thus far but due to intrusive thoughts and images around my faith and God last year (they seemed so blasphemous), that’s what started this journey. It may sound strange to say but I thank God because sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. I turn 36 on the 13th of next month and I can say that I am getting better every day. I’m determined to continue conquering OCD. My latter days and years shall be greater than the former. I prayed for healing and that’s exactly what I’m doing with each exposure, every time I don’t engage in an exposure, when I break the cycle of rumination, etc. I wouldn’t have been able to make it even this far had I not been able to lean on my faith. I’m learning how resilient I am. I’m stronger than I could’ve ever imagined. I had to introduce OCD to GOD and GOD never loses. So to everyone please stay encouraged. We can and we shall continue to face OCD. I literally pray for those of us who have come to NOCD seeking assistance. One day I pray that our stories, testimonies, suffering, etc will be used to save someone else’s life and to let them know they are not alone. They will see us thriving in life and OCD will be so far in the background that we won’t even notice it. And if you haven’t heard it today, I love you. You matter. Keep moving forward even if you must do it afraid. We got this!!!💕💕💕