Username: anonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

QUESTION

Oh, so I know that Harm Ocd targetted my family (grandma, little siblings) and my pets. I never ever been into violence before, I didn't enjoy watching horror movies or the news were just not interest for me because all they talked about was people getting killed and it ruined my mood. I would say my Harm Ocd often makes me feel like I want to kill (which is scaring me to death), after that I somehow calm myself down but after a few minutes my mind show images of my family and pets being killed by me and it gives me a feeling or though (I am not sure) in which leads me to believe it is satisying and that I want to do it. Everyday is the same and I am bothered I can't enjoy anything. Whenever I see something sharp on the kitchen table or tv shows my mind says "that would look good on someone's neck/chest/back" I am really afraid that I think like a psychopath... Also, I can't remember the love I have for my family and pets and I see them like objects (that's also scary), like it would be so easy to kill them. Please, help again 'cause I am really afraid I won't become what I hate the most.. Is it normal for Harm Ocd?

Username: Danny RDanny R

Date posted: 1y ago

No, just You being so distressed and bothered by these thoughts, says 110% that you do not like them and they go against your values, I have been going through this same bs with this disorder for nearly 15 yrs and it will throw any and every nasty trick in the book at you, and all the little feelings you are feeling is because you are hyperfocused on what you fear the most and believe you me your mind is a powerful and creative computer that can come up with any sensation, thought, feeling, etc, and You definitely Love Your family, you wouldn't be freaking out about it, dealing with this disorder for a while will put You in a numbing phase, where you maybe don't have the emotions that you once had, it's our bodies protective mechanism because we are so distressed, whenever you get those thoughts feeling emotions, simply redirect your focus onto what important to You, don't let this order mess with You, I can tell by this whole message that You are a great person, hope this helps, and I'm here if you have any other questions.

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

thank you! it means so much, i feel like i am going crazy by only having these thoughts.. they are very scary and because I never dealt with them it made me question a lot of things.. thank you

Username: Danny RDanny R

Date posted: 1y ago

@cartoonlover Your welcome anytime, we are all battling this nasty disorder, I just want to speak to you guys through my whole experience and what I've learned through this whole journey!!!

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

@Danny R sure, you can add my discord lunara0966

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes. Imagine you're sitting on a river bank watching the water flow calmly past. See your thoughts as an object floating on top of the water. You see it approaching from the distance. You can't stop it from coming, it's out of your control. As it gets closer, what can you do?

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

You can jump in to fight it, but you may get swept under and drown, you can turn your head, but you'll always be wondering where it is, when's it going to get you, how soon till it does. Or...you can just calmly watch it go by. In which case as it does and eventually goes out of site, you'll still be the same, wonderful, loving person you've always been. 🙂

Username: Liz1342Liz1342

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel like I wrote this myself! I am going through the se exact thing. Mine is directed at my partner. I love him so much and it has been KILLING me thinking all these nasty thoughts. I’ve been struggled for months now. My worst nightmare is something ever happening to him, but my brain says “I think you want to stab him in the throat!” It’s ridiculous. What funny to me is stabbing in the throat is specifically what grosses me out in movies/tv shows, yet that’s what my brain picked to try and make me believe I would want to act on. We will be okay, stay strong!❤️

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

Omg I feel so much better when somebody has the same thing as me.. And about slashing throughts, that's exactly what I hated the most in horror movies::)) And now my Harm Ocd just tells me that I should kill cause it's fun (and it bothers me so much) but yeah, thabk you for replying. Stay strong too🥰

Username: hen7hen7

Date posted: 1y ago

Typical harm OCD thoughts. I have struggled with the same theme. It feels like your thoughts are being made up by you, but this is not true. You probably started out with a single thought and that freaked you out. Then you started worrying about it and that made your brain throw more of these images your way because it wants you to fix the issue (your distress). What helped me was realizing that people with OCD also have intrusive thoughts. I have heard the “standing in the kitchen with a knife and then thinking about stabbing others who are around” many times from people without OCD whenever I shared what intrusive thoughts in OCD can be. They’re all like “I HAD THAT ONE TIME!” - this sounds weird but these thoughts every now and then are normal. But people without OCD are not bothered by them. They think “huh that was weird” and go about their day. But people with OCD will freak out at these thoughts and that will multiply them. As for why intrusive thoughts happen. I personally feel like sometimes your brain registers a danger. (Like a kitchen knife. Brain knows it’s “sharp” and that you should be “careful” with it) And then it links that alert to the things you want to protect, like your family or your own health. It’s a really strange protection mechanism in your brain which is being amplified by your OCD. The reason the thoughts won’t leave you alone is because they make you afraid. As soon as you will no longer be afraid, the thoughts will stop. You will sometimes have intrusive thoughts because everyone does. But they won’t scare you. You can overcome this. I can actively think of these upsetting images now and they don’t bother me at all. Because I know they’re thoughts and not reality. The numbness you feel is because you’re probably too consumed with fear and focusing too much on keeping a check on yourself. OCD puts a huge strain on your emotions and it can make you feel your other feelings less. I have experienced this as well. It will come back once your OCD has lessened.

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you. But how can not my thought bother me when all they shout is that I will become a criminal. If I accept them and let them pass I am still in so much stress to the point I am starting to feel like I accepted to kill or whenever. I can't even talk properly to my little sister because it also targetted little kids (which ojce I used to love them), I can't stay with my cats (I touch them and then a thought comes out saying "They are so thin, it would be so easy to kill them, and dont worry, you wont care of they die or not", and I feel so much guilt and I start crying because these thoughts won't leave my mind. It's like I am between being good and evil, but evil tries harder to have me.. I can't enjoy anything and I already see myself a criminal. Earlier, I tried holding the knife near my older cat and it felt like I was about to kill her but I didn't intend to, my intrusive thoughts were becoming louder. I am so afraid and I can do nothing about this. I am dosgusted with myself and I wish I was normal again.

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

@cartoonlover In my mind I see myself as the evil me. Killing everything I love..

Username: hen7hen7

Date posted: 1y ago

@cartoonlover When you do an exposure like you did with your cat then the thoughts will become louder. This is normal because you’re doing the opposite of what your OCD wants, which is to avoid everything you love in a false attempt to keep them safe. You’re not evil. You just have OCD. Believe me, I know *exactly* how you feel and how terrifying these thoughts are. But they are there because you attached meaning to them. Because you’re entertaining the idea that the thoughts are anything more than just that: thoughts. Also: instead of “thoughts” you can also say “images” or “urges”. For example, many people who have homosexuality OCD will eventually start feeling groinal responses when looking at people of their own gender because they are doing so much checking of their own feelings and testing their thoughts by analyzing them that the brain will start sending the exact signals you’re trying to avoid. It’s like saying not to think of a pink elephant. Of course that’s impossible. The same is true for feelings and urges. The more you’re afraid of these things and focus on them, the more they will come up. Just to be clear: this does NOT mean that this is who you are or what you secretly want, etc. You need to try and see the difference between you and your OCD. Again, you’re not evil. You just have OCD. And many people here can relate and have the EXACT same thoughts, fears and feelings/false ideas and fear about “urges” as you. You’re not crazy, you’re not dangerous, your life isn’t over, and this will pass.

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

@hen7 thank youu 🥺🥺🥺

Username: EllasmamaEllasmama

Date posted: 21w ago

Hey, I know this was a long time ago, but did you ever get through this? Currently in the SAME boat right now and struggling so hard.

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Let the thoughts sit there, allow them to, allow the uneasiness and uncertainty, don't react to fix anything. It'll pass, I promise.

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you! I am really trying so hard to let the thought pass but it feels like they are part of me and that there is a possibilty of me going evil kills me inside. But I'll try to let them alone

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@cartoonlover I was so bothered a month ago that I was awake every night between 12-4 planning revenge and violence against a couple people in my recent past. That's when I knew I needed help, and reached out to NOCD. There's hope for you to be free of this!!!

Username: Danny RDanny R

Date posted: 1y ago

Yep, I've had the fear of just about any object you can think of ad a weapon, it will throw just about anything you can think of at you, don't go for the bait, OCD is a liar!!!

Username: anonymoussehrhanonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

I am even afraid now that I typed this because what of I jinx it..

Username: hen7hen7

Date posted: 1y ago

@cartoonlover This is an intrusive thought. You can ignore this.

Username: Charcole

Date posted: 5y ago

Am I normal? I have thoughts about killing my friends, family, and strangers recently very often in a variety of ways and these intrusive thoughts are draining happiness from me.. I don't know this type of OCD but I'm certain it's a subset of OCD. I don't know what's happening to me. Someone please reach out to me. Its draining happiness from me every day. When I'm having a fun time with family one intrusive thought enters my mind out of the blue. It gets so bad and so violent that it physically made me sick. I'm not even kidding.

Username: Taylen

Date posted: 2y ago

Harm OCD

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Username: vmc76

Date posted: 34w ago

Harm OCD thoughts

Everyday i have unwanted thoughts and images in my head of me harming my loved ones in horrible ways, also urges too. i’m not like that at all, i don’t want to be like that at all and i also have an extreme fear of becoming a bad person and harming the people i love, or snapping out of anger and harming people. These thoughts scare me a lot and im really sad that i have these thoughts at all and its taking a toll on my mental health. whenever i see something like a gun or a knife or something like that i get anxious and scared at the thought that i could hurt someone with those things and i get thought about me in a position where i hurt someone. the last thing i want is to hurt anyone. i just wanna make people happy and i wanna treat others with kindness. i don’t want to do any of that i don’t wanna be a bad person. i hate these thoughts in my head and im so anxious at the thought that im gonna commit them. can someone help me and give me some advice on what to do?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

QUESTION

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community