How can I discuss my relationship OCD with my husband without upsetting him?

Speaking with a partner about relationship OCD?

I just received an OCD diagnosis this morning during my first session with NOCD, and my husband walked in right at the end of my session. I hadn’t told him that I was seeking therapy because a lot of my intrusive thoughts are doubts about our relationship and my sexuality, and I don’t want to upset him by sharing intrusive thoughts that aren’t based in reality. I think deep down, I know that what I’m thinking and feeling isn’t based on desires that I want to act on, but if I were in his shoes, hearing that I had doubts about our marriage (real or not), would be upsetting. Does anyone have advice about speaking to your partner about relationship OCD?

Username: My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia

Date posted: 1y ago

I recently got into a relationship knowing full well how bad my ocd is. It has been a struggle but if I avoided her knowing I really wanted to get to know her but chose to let my ocd control me, It would have made things worse. I ended up explaining to her how I have OCD. and then I showed her different articles that explain the different themes and which theme im currently on (sexual orientation ocd). I did my fair share of asking her if she thought i was gay or just needing reassurance. My ocd has latched onto a friend from the past and im having intrusive thoughts and it sucks. She is really understanding and while I dont go into too much detail, she gets the picture that I have obsessions around the fear of being gay/becoming gay. Help your partner know what OCD is and then show him different articles around different themes. I started with showing my girl and explaining her Contamination OCD because explaining Harm OCD to someone who doesn't understand OCD just sounds and looks bad imo.

Username: SCrowleySCrowley

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@My OCD Academia Thank you so much. I really appreciate you sharing that. OCD newbie over here!

Username: My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia

Date posted: 1y ago

@SCrowley Well you’re always welcomed to ask for any advice! I’ve been diagnosed for almost a year now, I’ve gone through a lot of different themes but the ones that have stuck the most are Harm OCD and SOOCD.

Username: freiafreia

Date posted: 1y ago

Maybe it is a good start to tell about OCD more general. So that he can understand the concept of it. And when you realize that he is knowledgeable about it, you coul introduce the SO/R part. But I guess it is better if you don't tell the explicit thoughts. Most often, even if the partner says he understands, he can be affected and hurt by it. Maye it's not even necessary to tell the themes of your OCD. Just that your thoughts torture you.

Username: SCrowleySCrowley

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@freia Thank you so much!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m recently diagnosed too and shared my OCD with my partner. It has been such a weight off my to tell him about my OCD and explain how I am feeling. Tell your partner what you are most comfortable with but my partner knowing has been EXTREMELY helpful with my recovery so far because he knows when I am doing a compulsion and how to respond.

Username: Ocdeeznuts55Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 1y ago

I agree that it can be helpful to explain OCD to him in a more general sense and then maybe explain your theme of ROCD. But once you do this, be careful not to continuously talk about it and compulsively ‘confess’ your doubts and thoughts. As this can be a common reassurance seeking compulsion, which you don’t want to do

Username: kmorigz

Date posted: 3y ago

Does anyone have any advice for sharing their obsessions with their significant other? I struggle with relationship and sexuality OCD. My boyfriend knows I have OCD, but we have never discussed it in detail. I think he is trying to respect my boundaries and I am terrified he won’t understand my obsessions and/or will take them personally. As a result I feel like I am hiding this horrible secret, and it is causing me so much anxiety. I want to talk to him about it, but I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that won’t hurt him.

Username: wegotthis

Date posted: 3y ago

For those struggling with with ROCD do you let your partner in on what’s going through your mind? My boyfriend is my go to person to talk to about anything going on my life and really the only one who understands ocd but I feel it can be hurtful for him if I share intrusive thoughts about our relationship.

Username: Iwanttobreak...

Date posted: 32w ago

Did you tell your partner you have ROCD?

I'm in a relationship since November with a wonderful guy. I'm in a flare up right now. I'm very scared about the persisting thoughts on whether I love him or not, and I also still have some SO-OCD thoughts. Also, I'm thinking about changing therapy and try a new one (who does erp in the right way, I hope), so it's all very confusing. I didn't want to share my ocd themes with him because he is already dealing with some difficult stuff and I'm also scared he wouldn't want to stay in the relationship with me or he would see me in a different way. At the same time, it's so difficult to "hide" something like this... I'm afraid it will take me away from him anyway

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How can I discuss my relationship OCD with my husband without upsetting him?

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