Obsession or limerence?

I thought what i have is rocd but i read about limerence and i learned that the two are different and i find myself more on that side than ocd... I always used to obsess about girls, but in a normal way, it never got weird like i started following them or something. I just daydreamed about us getting together and i was really into that cause im a positive person and i believe in manifestation. So i knew that if i put my mind into that, i might get the girl who i want. Im having the same thing like 6 months now over someone, i never felt this strong emotions and i saw it like i finally found someone who aligns with my values and i admire her because what she do and she is independent and strong, but this thing made alot of problems, eypecially when i had those moments when i felt like this is not possible, im stupid, im like a kid who daydreams about their crush but it will never happen... and i was so sad that it will never happen cause i never had seen a girl like this. Well obviously she isnt perfect, noone is. But i never had this feeling of admiration and love for someone and i desperately wanted this relationship to become true and prayed for that, cause i was and im still afraid that i will never find someone who makes me feel like this. And as i know the person is emotionally clever so we could talk about our problems, emotions, something i value, cause if you cant be open with your partner then thats a red flag... But all of this might be just my imagination. Cause later in time i started hearing things that made me question if she is the one, and i was afraid maybe i turned these things good just to make myself feel good about her. So im afraid i might have limerence and not real love. I thought this is just love with daydreaming, and i used alot of fake scenarios to build myself, to see what would i do in specific situations,to learn about myself and make myself a better person but now im afraid this was limerence...i made it up to make up a fake personality about myself...

Username: Alya AzizAlya Aziz

Date posted: 1y ago

Have yoi been diagnosed with ocd?

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes

Username: Alya AzizAlya Aziz

Date posted: 1y ago

@PRIV8 I experience limerance a lot too 🥹

Username: ClairenzClairenz

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I think talking this over with a ocd therapist would be useful for you. This sounds like relationship ocd to me...

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 1y ago

As i read more about limerence, the more i see myself having that...

Username: VioletRoseVioletRose

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve been down this exact rabbit hole more times than I can count. You may have to accept that it could be a little bit of both. But regardless- it is safe to assume ocd is at play and treat it as such. Ocd LOVES to get you to doubt everything … even whether this is ocd or not. It’s painful. And frustrating. And can feel like a prison that will never end. Give yourself grace. Try to disengage from the thoughts. Don’t listen to its demands that you need an answer. Sending you love and peace

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 1y ago

The reason why is so hard for me to accept that it might be limerence is that then that means its not true love... and that hurts... i never felt so bad when i had thoughts about someone that i dont really love them or it wouldnt be good... I had someone who i had a crush on before, and i seen things in her that were huge red flags but i thought she can change cause she was so kind. But after time, still seeing her doing those things made me gave up on her and i dont regret that now. But because i had this im afraid that im more prone to feel limerence than love...

Username: VioletRoseVioletRose

Date posted: 1y ago

At the risk of feeding your rumination, I can recommend a YouTube channel that talks a lot about attachment theory. Our attachment styles feed our OCD themes (especially ROCD) and explain our behaviour patterns in relationships and tendency towards limerence. This does not mean it’s not ROCD, but could shed some light on your relational patterns. An anxious attachment will tend towards preoccupation and limerence (with or without ocd) and an avoidant attachment will look more like the ROCD themes where people doubt their attraction.

Username: VioletRoseVioletRose

Date posted: 1y ago

https://youtube.com/@heidipriebe1?si=HLXtrUdN-A4GAsx9

Username: VioletRoseVioletRose

Date posted: 1y ago

So. It can be both. And we have to accept that.

Username: Sake

Date posted: 4y ago

How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

Username: Sassafras19

Date posted: 2y ago

Feeling Like a Creep

(Synopsis: Has your OCD ever latched on to someone and caused major changes in your life? How do you deal with feeling like a total creep?) My OCD has latched on to a guy I had a crush on through my school years. It started when I followed him on Instagram. I then broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years (which was for the best) and immediately started trying to SLEEP WITH THIS MAN. We DM’d and it went nowhere but I was EXTREMELY forward and aggressive to the point where a year later I am still very embarrassed by it. After that happened, I muted his story and posts and my obsessions faded. Then I was buying a home and since he is a carpenter I hit him up for a quote… It went nowhere as well probably because I BASICALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED HIM. Anyway, then I saw the gym he went to looked like something I might enjoy so I signed up. I fell in love with this gym and now I go every day when I was never an active person. I’ve seen him there a few times and we just say hello. Super awkward. My friend is into manifestation so she suggested I look into manifesting a “specific person” and there is all of this content online about manifesting someone into your life no matter the circumstances. All you have to do is speak it into truth. Well that doesn’t mix well with OCD so I FULLY convinced myself that he and I were meant to be and all of this insane stuff. I realized it was a problem when I was talking about him to every one of my friends and sounding like a weirdo. That’s when I started NOCD. That brings me to where I’m at now. Every time I go to the gym, I wonder if he will be there. When he pops into my head, I go to his (muted) Instagram to see what I missed. I still have lingering feelings that I am so obsessed with him because we are fated to be together. This man has been the catalyst to several big things in my life: breaking up a long term relationship, becoming a gym rat, and starting NOCD. I’m even in the beginnings of a great relationship and I still can’t stop these obsessions. I just started working on it with my therapist here but I need someone to relate to! Does anyone else have these obsessions and how do you deal with feeling like a stalker creep?

Username: mchave23

Date posted: 46w ago

OCD and Limerence

Do you ever find yourself fixating on someone you've only been on one or two dates with? It's been a month since I went out with this person and I don’t even know them, yet my thoughts keep returning to them. I've noticed my rumination is finally starting to decrease, but she remains elevated in my mind, largely due to her looks. I know for a fact it is not love. It’s mostly a state of Limerence, infatuation or just obsession. Anyone else experience this?

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