Hocdsufferes

Date posted: 2y

I was just in denial

After many months and many panic attacks I've figured out that my ocd was trying to tell me that l'm gay. At first it was just thoughts but now it's feelings, sexual urges and romantic attraction with no anxiety and stress. I do miss being straight not gonna lie but ima have to forget that now since I'm newly gay. I'm sorry to all the people I've reached out to. But aye on the bright side no more anxiety or stress and long sleepless nights. It don't mean ima go and start living a gay life ima just now live with the urges and take it to the grave. Yea I might never get a wife or kids like how I always wanted to do actually nah I can but if I can't love my wife and be sexually attracted then there's no point. If you know this is still ocd and you were in my position then plz Imk if not and I am really gay then it is what it is lmao.

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

Also I believe (this is to the person who posted this), that you have made the guess that you are gay becuase of what ocd as been telling you, not because of how you truly feel x

Mr. Solo Dolo

Date posted: 2y

I feel like most people don’t know this, but intrusive urges, images, and feelings exist as well. The was on article on the NOCD app about it.

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@Mr. Solo Dolo Yes exactly!! X This should honestly be talked about more xx

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

And yes, ocd tells you your gay, but not because its true. Ocd will always tell u that you are the polar opposite of what you really are, to make u scared, as you said u were. This sounds to me like ocd, not a real issue with sexuality. X

Hocdsufferes

Date posted: 2y

@AyseTetik It used to tell me I was gay with thoughts and images now I wish I can go back to that because all I get now is feelings, sexual urges and romantic attraction

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@Hocdsufferes I understand xx. Im the same pretty much and want to go back to, at least, the early days of hocd, as it was a bit more bearable than what it is now lol. What you are feeling is common with hocd, it CAN do that to you, ur not alone with it, and it most likely hasnt made you gay x

Hocdsufferes

Date posted: 2y

@AyseTetik I hope it’s still ocd and your right but intell I feel something for the other sex ima have to believe I’m gay because there’s no other answer to how I’m feeling rn

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@Hocdsufferes I completely understand you. There is no definite answer because there was no real issue in the first place. Remember, ocd is a series of FALSE ALARMS - a brain malfunction if you will. The main thing that you need to know is that NO answer will satisfy ocd of any kind, not this one, not anyone. Even if you said “screw it im gay”, ocd will STILL keep you digging for a DEFINITE answer. Saying ur gay is a great way to tell ocd that you dont give a shit, and its good how you really dont care if it was true, but just make sure you dont do things ocd tells you to do - like get into a relationship that YOU would not want to get into, or sex, or anything. I would say this is still ocd. But do not give it an answer because, remember, there was never an issue in the first place ❤️

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

Hocdsufferes

Date posted: 2y

@Parker bufkin I liked girls since puberty up intell last October but then hocd messed me up now it all switched I mean I HOPE it’s ocd but if not and this is really me then idc

jdd

Date posted: 2y

This honestly scares the shit out of me too because I probably could be in the same boat.

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@jdd Sameeeeeeee not gonna lie 😞😞❤️

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@Parker bufkin Aww thank you so much, i try to remind myself that too ❤️❤️❤️ same to you !! Xx

AyseTetik

Date posted: 2y

@Parker bufkin Uk x

star1232

Date posted: 1y

How re you now?

Hocdsufferes

Date posted: 1y

@star1232 Worse

star1232

Date posted: 1y

@Hocdsufferes Me too

anonymous00981

Date posted: 24w

Can this really happen?!!! 18+

Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).

Sexual Orientation OCD

Pogoshow

Date posted: 22w

SOOCD

I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments

Mt2019

Date posted: 10w

HOCD can anyone relate?

Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help

Sexual Orientation OCD

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