my brain is telling me i have feelings for someone else rather than my boyfriend, i actually feel sick because why does it feel real , i’m taking a second and thinking do i actually because these thoughts are constant . should i say something to my boyfriend?? i have no idea what to do
I wouldn’t say anything to your boyfriend though because it’s just a thought. Do you have an OCD therapist?
@Nl123ehe i don’t but i might think about it, does it cost a lot?
@Sunflowers44 Mine is $10 per session with insurance. I did it through this platform and was on about a month waitlist. From my research, ERP (form of therapy they use) is the most effective way to treat OCD.
I agree with not confessing. That's a compulsion and sometimes confessions cause issues where there isn't one. Creating doubt for your partner isn't going to do either of you any favours. Considering that your feelings may not be real, or they may just be based on a connection with that person, doesn't mean you don't want to be in your current relationship, nor does it mean you've done anything wrong. You may find your feelings develop further, or they may not. At the end of the day, it is your actions that matter - not thoughts and not feelings. If you choose to stay with your boyfriend and don't act on feelings (real or perceived) with someone else, then everything is fine. If you decide to end your relationship and pursue something with this other person to see if your feelings are real, that's ok too. You get to decide how you act. Your thoughts and feelings are just that... they may mean something and they may not.
I have the same issue. I start therapy Monday and can’t wait to discuss but what I am telling myself is I wouldn’t be scared of the thought if it was true. I wouldn’t want it to go away. I know it’s OCD because I have a new theme each week and this is this weeks theme, but maybe just recognizing that you don’t like the feeling can help confirm it’s not true and it’s just your OCD
@Nl123ehe I’ve had this same theme pop up for quite awhile. I had it with my last partner and I have it with my current one too. Maybe it is ocd, maybe it isn’t. It sounds like in telling yourself ‘it’s just ocd’ you’re really trying to give yourself reassurance that the thoughts are not true. This is a compulsion just like anything else. The way to overcome ocd to to accept that maybe the thoughts could be true, not to reassure yourself that it’s just ocd. The former will allow you to learn to live with the uncertainty, the latter will keep you stuck in a cycle of anxiety and reassurance seeking
@Ocdeeznuts55 Oh yeah that’s a good point! I forget that’s what is going to be happening during EPR. Makes me uncomfortable but I can see how it works long term
@Nl123ehe Exactly! ERP is all about accepting the short term discomfort for long term relief. OCD compulsions can be tricky and it’s hard to tell when you’re doing them sometimes. Good luck with starting therapy! I started beginning of this year and it really does work. It can take months of hard work, but it really can help provide relief. It won’t make uncomfortable thoughts and anxiety go away, but it can become much less frequent and intense and you get better at dealing with it. I still have smaller spikes every now and then, but I’m able to recognize what’s going on and deal with them much easier than before.
hey, so i’ve had these insane thoughts about like, this dude. and i assumed it’s intrusive feelings, but it also has happened w the fact o think i like girls? but i don’t? like, i get the gronal response, and everything, and like, it sometimes feels like i actually like them, but it always makes me sick? same way w the false attraction guy, and it even started happening w my bsf of like 9 years? and it’ll tell me the most insane things like “maybe u are attracted” “maybe if u got w them the thoughts will stop” someone please help.
i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.
False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
