" I've seen and read that bisexual people find out they are like that later in life (Compared to homosexual people) and that it isn't a phase, that they deny it their whole life and suffer because of it, and that some people with HOCD were truly bisexual and deny homosexual yearnings but they live in a lie their whole life because of treatment." This has been a scare I've had because I've always had that fear of "what if I'm one of those people" , Then my brain is like "you know it'd be fun, you know your open to sex with a woman " . Then combine that with lesser anxiety and it feels real.

Then intrusive thought popped up and got me. I also fear that I secretly want to be bi (or am attracted to women) and in the future I will act on sexual desires I don't remember having.

This is something that petrified me as well. I worry myself to death with all the ‘what ifs’ in life, but at the end of the day it all comes down to your actions and what you believe. If you believe you are straight and that you do not want to be with the same sex then that is it, no further questions should be needed. What makes this way of thinking so hard for people like you and me is that we want absolute certainty that we will never be able to obtain. It is faith that we need to have, faith that we ultimately know what’s true even when it doesn’t feel like it.

But I never felt this way before ocd,and even now I know I do have it, so it is a trickster. That's why I try to let it go

I’m honestly the same exact way, I read stories of women who get married and then realize they’re a lesbian and that terrifies me horrifically that I just wont know until it happens.

I know,it's just that I feel so disconnected

My brain is making me worry that I am hiding or repressing my feeling

This is something I struggle with quite badly so you are not alone. But that is apart of ocd, it causes doubting and no matter how much we don’t want to, we have to be okay with the uncertainty. I have read these stories and worried myself to the point of becoming very sick. A main worry of mine is that I am bisexual or a lesbian and either suddenly became it or I have been all along. It is just apart of the obsessing part of HOCD.

Where did you read that? I’m sorry for you feeling that way, I know exactly how you feel. @MarGreene is right, it’s about your actions, not your thoughts. I also fear to be one of these kind of people and my HOCD makes me believe that.

I read that on a post somewhere