- Username
- AdamLeonard94
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Love and OCD
I would be overjoyed to hear some positive experiences of people who have successful romantic relationships despite their OCD.
I would be overjoyed to hear some positive experiences of people who have successful romantic relationships despite their OCD.
I don’t have ROCD; I’m just concerned about trying to explain my obsessions to a future partner. I hope I can find someone as loving as your husband
Me neither! Real event and responsibility are my big ones. I'm sure you will :) Not everyone would be so understanding but those people do exist and I hope you keep your heart open!
Careful about seeking reassurance but I can understand that a bit of support here is helpful. I've been struggling hard with my OCD since 2017 (though I've had it my whole life) and with ERP it has gotten better. I have often felt like a burden to my husband because before I started to struggle I always seemed to have it together. My husband and I have been together since 2013. I have sought help and keep communication with him open. He says that although it's hard for him to see me struggle, it isn't as hard on him as I think it is because I don't expect him to fix it and I keep him in the loop, plus I am seeking help. I'd say we manage quite well and we are expecting our first child in a month. We are prepared for my ocd to flare up. I think we succeed because he's understanding and supportive but also because I take responsibility for my own recovery.
Congratulations on your first child!
Do you guys mention that you have OCD to a potential partner when going on dates with people? Sometimes I struggle with knowing when to bring it up, and I have immense fear of it being the reason my relationships won’t work out. It’s hurt mine in the past.
@Nick I think this is a very personal choice. I’m married but I’ve always been introverted and never had many friends, as I’m trying to make new friends it feels a lot like dating, all the same social anxieties “what ifs” and obsessions. I try to tell people as soon as possible when the conversation casually flows in such a way that I can drop that in there. I don’t push the convo or info dump in them I’ll answer more questions if they’re curious but try to keep it light and “overarching” so I don’t overwhelm people. Eventually as the relationship develops I have more opportunities to talk more in depth about my struggles. Mainly I think people don’t want to be overwhelmed and they also may run away if they get the sense that you can’t handle yourself or cope in your own because they don’t want to be burdened. (Which is totally valid I’d run for the hills too if the first time I met someone they dumped all their baggage on me and I was expected to figure out how to socially respond appropriately) but they also don’t want to feel misled or deceived if a year into a relationship you finally have a complete meltdown and then have to explain you have a mental disorder that you never told them about.
My wife is typically very supportive. She understands it the best she can and provides me the space to just be on hard days. It’s definitely possible - my advice would be to explain it earlier on in the relationship. I shared my struggle with her about a year into dating and we have now been together for 10 years.
I was only diagnosed with OCD 2.5 years ago but was diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago. The OCD was always there i just didn’t present with obvious behaviors so I never knew. My husband and I have been together 9 years, married 7. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend, my one and only. I don’t have relationship OCD, but my “particularities” definitely had an impact on our relationship especially before I sought help and was diagnosed. My husband has his own mental health battles and we are there for each other. We still have to work through response patterns that developed when I would freak out and have meltdowns over my triggers but we have a foundation of empathy, genuinely taking the time to identify and communicate our feelings and triggers, listening to each other and above all pushing and challenging each other to grow, do better, and be better versions of ourselves so we are stronger than ever. However we just had to cut a friend out of our lives who also has OCD, because he was so selfish and self absorbed. He constantly demanded our time and energy for his reassurance seeking but would still allow his thoughts to be completely consumed by whatever he was anxious about and didn’t care enough to ever listen or even ask anything about us. I think anyone with OCD can have a solid relationship of ANY kind so long as they genuinely put the work into themselves and getting better.
Hey y’all this is my first post. I’ve known I’ve had ocd for around 6 years now, but haven’t had much specialized help (just a standard therapist, who is great, she suggested this app) I’m mainly just posting to vent and for people to hopefully make me feel a little less alone in my current situation. I’ve developed coping skills for many of my ocd obsessions in the past, but haven’t really made a dent in what I’m realizing is pretty bad ROCD. I was in an abusive relationship for about 4 years, and it was this weird thing where like I would not only be unhappy from the abuse but also have intense ROCD. Which is relevant, because I’m now in a super happy and healthy relationship, but am unfortunately still experiencing ROCD. And of COURSE that makes my brain feel either like love is just never going to work out for me, or that this new relationship is wrong for me, which I know isn’t the case. But it’s just so exhausting feeling like I have this horrible brain fog around my partner half the time. I never felt like this when my partner and I were just best friends for 6 months, and all that’s changed is that she is even sweeter and more attentive to me. This just all sucks so bad, and I think I should talk to a specialist about it.
I have never dated anyone bc of the fear that ocd would flare up too much and cause problems but this time i have taken a leap of faith and thought to myself that whatever ocd is gonna throw my way I will deal with it cause that's what I should be doing cause I can't not do anything in my life. What are your tips to when my ocd flares up due to me dating
Hi all, recently became stuck on the idea of my wife and I splitting up, and the impact on our dynamic and our child. We have a very healthy relationship, and have been together over a decade. I love her completely and am typically a golden retriever type partner. She's everything to me and then some, which is why these thoughts are so distressing. I've never done therapy, and recently tried antidepressants which spiked my anxiety through the roof so I stopped. I've been dealing with with this for about 3 months. In my constant googling I came across Pure O and ROCD, and based on all I've read seems to align with my experience. This may be reassurance seeking, but would love to celebrate success stories of others who have been able to overcome the intrusive thoughts and find peace. This feels like such a lonely subtype because I can't fully share with and lean on my best friend who I'm used to telling everything to. I'm also not used to needing support. I'm usually the supporter.
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