Love and OCD

I don’t have ROCD; I’m just concerned about trying to explain my obsessions to a future partner. I hope I can find someone as loving as your husband

Careful about seeking reassurance but I can understand that a bit of support here is helpful. I've been struggling hard with my OCD since 2017 (though I've had it my whole life) and with ERP it has gotten better. I have often felt like a burden to my husband because before I started to struggle I always seemed to have it together. My husband and I have been together since 2013. I have sought help and keep communication with him open. He says that although it's hard for him to see me struggle, it isn't as hard on him as I think it is because I don't expect him to fix it and I keep him in the loop, plus I am seeking help. I'd say we manage quite well and we are expecting our first child in a month. We are prepared for my ocd to flare up. I think we succeed because he's understanding and supportive but also because I take responsibility for my own recovery.

Congratulations on your first child!

Do you guys mention that you have OCD to a potential partner when going on dates with people? Sometimes I struggle with knowing when to bring it up, and I have immense fear of it being the reason my relationships won’t work out. It’s hurt mine in the past.

My wife is typically very supportive. She understands it the best she can and provides me the space to just be on hard days. It’s definitely possible - my advice would be to explain it earlier on in the relationship. I shared my struggle with her about a year into dating and we have now been together for 10 years.

I was only diagnosed with OCD 2.5 years ago but was diagnosed with anxiety 11 years ago. The OCD was always there i just didn’t present with obvious behaviors so I never knew. My husband and I have been together 9 years, married 7. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend, my one and only. I don’t have relationship OCD, but my “particularities” definitely had an impact on our relationship especially before I sought help and was diagnosed. My husband has his own mental health battles and we are there for each other. We still have to work through response patterns that developed when I would freak out and have meltdowns over my triggers but we have a foundation of empathy, genuinely taking the time to identify and communicate our feelings and triggers, listening to each other and above all pushing and challenging each other to grow, do better, and be better versions of ourselves so we are stronger than ever. However we just had to cut a friend out of our lives who also has OCD, because he was so selfish and self absorbed. He constantly demanded our time and energy for his reassurance seeking but would still allow his thoughts to be completely consumed by whatever he was anxious about and didn’t care enough to ever listen or even ask anything about us. I think anyone with OCD can have a solid relationship of ANY kind so long as they genuinely put the work into themselves and getting better.