Feeling guilty all the Time

Should i feel guilty for stuff i have done while with my partner that im ashamed about but never meant it against my partner and some people would see it as something they would just forget and not feel immoral but i feel terribly guilty, things like being attracted to other women, looking at an exes instagram, mastuerbation over other women, i never mean these things because i will prefer someone else i just do them and regret them after because i feel like my girlfriend wouldn’t like it The guilt is really getting to me and i feel the need to confess all the time

Willie31$

Date posted: 1y

I completely get where you’re coming from, whilst I’ve never really stalked an ex or anything I’m not a saint. I actually struggle with confessing everything to my boyfriend and wanting to confess, along with false memory struggles surrounding things that are honestly just small actions. But I like to keep in mind that I love him so much and I only wanna be with him. What I did is I had a conversation with him and instead of setting there confessing every little thing I’ve done I generally apologized and reassured him that I’ve never cheated nor wanted too I just feel bad for the things I’ve done and promised to work on myself. I still remember things that I’ve done and the guilt eats away at me and I wanna tell him, but what I do is tell myself ok you apologized and he forgave you and that telling him is only gonna hurt him. So I’m not sure what you and your partner consider as cheating but I would try to figure out how to apologize in a manner that will ease your mind and allow your partner to understand. I hope this helps some

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@Willie31$ I feel like confessing all the time and i feel guilty all the time for everything, keeping this info in my head that will end our relationship feels like im holding all the evidence to a murder and it’s painful and i feel guilt for holiding it, but in the end i shouldn’t feel guilty for it i just need to leave it where it is

Willie31$

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 I know how you feel!! I hope it gets better for you

JP8

Date posted: 1y

I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. Guilt and shame are certainly fuel for ocd. Remember we are all human and not perfect wether you have ocd or not. Tell the ocd to eff off!! Sending peace and good vibes your way. Stay strong 💪

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@Oseedee8 I just feel like if my girlfriend found out things i have thought and done she would take it the wrong way and break up with me

ps13

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 Tbh, yes what you did is not exactly great, but also not that horrible either. Cut yourself some slack. I will say however that maybe you want to think over why these feelings of attraction are coming up for other ppl? If you love her and want to be with her 100% just stop them

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ps13 Yes i love her 100% she is my world but she is my first girlfriend and 21 years single it has been a struggle to adjust a realise whats right and whats wrong in a relationship and i feel like im getting the lines mixed up, i mean i feel like i can be physically attracted to people in a relationship like they are good looking, but emotionally attracted is wrong and ive never really been emotionally attracted to anyone in my relationship, ive had a woman that used to be my crush tell me that she liked me while in my relationship and it messed with my head slightly cos u find out your crush liked u back after 8 years but i didnt want her i wanted my girlfriend and didnt text her or make any other contacts

ps13

Date posted: 1y

@TDR 17 I think as much as ppl hate to admit it, we can very much be in love with someone, and find other people attractive. You are very right in saying that emotional attraction however is where we go wrong. You seem like you have a lot of self awareness to learn right from wrong, esp in your first relationship. I think you’re doin great man, really cut yourself some slack. My best advice is if it’s making you feel guilty, try to stop that behavior. The brief moments of bliss you get from looking at other girls is not worth potentially making your gf feel insecure. Tbh, I don’t think you need to tell her. If you were my bf, I would assume stuff like that is happening anyway since mostly everyone finds other people attractive at some point, but I wouldn’t want to hear about it/know who it is. I’m very confident in myself but I think I’d still compare my self to them.

TDR 17

Date posted: 1y

@ps13 Thankyou for your advice it has been very nice to hear other people’s experiences and it helps a lot

savvyp

Date posted: 24w

Feeling guilt

I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….

sunbear28

Date posted: 24w

Irrational Guilt in 5 month relationship

Ive been having terrible irrational thoughts that Ive cheated and don’t remember. Like the guilt made me repress the memory and im actually an awful person and someone’s gonna expose me. I know it’s not true and I love my boyfriend more than anything but i feel so guilty for something ive never done. its been making my life so difficult and i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im covering something up :( Its making me think that I need to break up and i don’t want too, but the guilt and anxiety is eating away at me. I feel like I need to get better before I continue on or i’m going to permanently ruin everything with my mental illness

Bonzo82

Date posted: 23w

Guilt over memories

I had a life before I was with my partner, that involved having girlfriends and one night stands, etc. That's a lifetime of memories that I now feel guilty for having. Something as silly as watching a TV show with my girlfriend will make me think "I used to watch this show with an ex, is it ok to watch it with my current girlfriend?" and I will feel real guilt over it and need to seek her reassurance. There are other memories, about "intimate" times, that sometimes come into my head and I have urges to share them with my girlfriend to alleviate the guilt I feel for having the memory. Fundamentally, I feel guilty every time I have a memory of an ex, often regardless of the content. I feel like I shouldn't have thoughts of anyone else other than my current partner and it's wrong to have memories of exes. When I do, I feel guilty, ruminate, then have the uncontrollable urge to share the memories with her. She gets upset, I get upset, but also feel relief that I've shared. Does anyone have any similar experiences and/or tips around this sort of issue? Thanks.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Feeling guilty all the Time

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community