Contamination OCD - Asbestos

@Allyce Knowing that’s there asbestos in ambient air helps me feel a lot better to but then my ocd makes me question if it’s even true because my brain tells me that I used to be 100% free from exposure and now I may not be. And the fact that my ocd hates is that even a one fibre can cause mesothelioma because there is no known threshold to how many fibres it takes to develop cancer. My brain just struggles to believe that I may have already been exposed in the ambient air and I need to remain 100% clean.

@Caitp Totally. But there’s no such thing! No one is 100% free or “clean” from asbestos because it’s in our air. The “it only takes one fibre” is somewhat true- I think? But that means that literally everyone is at risk for mesothelioma… but it’s also true that it’s super rare. I try to remind myself there’s a higher chance of me getting another type of cancer, and I’m not ruminating on those. But I get it, it’s so hard! I had a rough morning today

@Allyce Thank you for your help! Another things that makes me worry a lot to is that there is no cure to mesothelioma so that’s makes me so scared. For example something like blood cancer there is hope of curing it. I not even sure if it’s just the worry about getting sick it’s also the feeling of feeling contaminated all the time and never feeling completely “clean” which makes so feel like I spending it to other people and places with makes me feel so guilty and horrible knowing that I might make other contaminated and sick.

@Caitp I completely get this! We are both completely overestimating our risk and responsibility with asbestos. But it’s soooo tough not to do. I just keep thinking how sad I’d be if I got any type of cancer, like how sad I’d be if I keep spending so much time and energy worrying about asbestos

@Allyce That is a good way of trying not to worry about it as much. Thank you!

@Caitp No problem. I’ve been dealing with this for a few months. I just want to get better but it’s so hard! I think it helps to talk it out.

@Allyce Have you had any luck with trying meditation to help stop worry?

@Caitp A little bit! It’s hard to be alone with my thoughts haha. What about you? I’m taking medication and seeing a therapist too.

@Allyce Yes I’m on meds and also seeing a therapist :)

@jhadro Yes, I feel like asbestos is such a hard thing to deal with. For example I used to be extremely worried about being contaminated with covid and would do many complusions but at the least worse things that could happen is getting sick for a week but with asbestos you don’t know until many years later when it’s too late.

@jhadro Other things are dangerous too, like driving or getting other diseases or cancers! It’s so tough how our OCD singles out asbestos.

@Atutt I have cleaned many things in my house but I still worry it wasn’t good enough and that I may have missed something. The uncertainty is so debilitating. I just wish I could go back to before this incident happened. I also worry about it because stuck inside my vacuums hepa filter to and worry the vacuum just releases fibres out the other end and doesn’t filter the fibres properly because they are so tiny.