lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

I’m guilty, please read this :(

I promised someone to do them a favour but I didn’t, my father’s friend’s daughter asked me to take her with me to university but I just texted her that I won’t be able to take her with me tomorrow, I know what I did is shameful and wrong but I’m really tired physically and mentally from OCD, when my father knew he got really mad and said that the girl has no one to take her to university tomorrow and she was counting on me and told me that I’ve never pleased him and I’ve never obeyed to him, this really hurt me, I told that I really would wanna help her but I’m too tired and I don’t want to put more pressure on myself, but he never understands, now I’m feeling guilty, shameful, and useless, the girl didn’t even respond to me yet and I think she’s now panicking about how to uni tomorrow and it’s all my fault for promising her from the beginning just because I was shy of saying no, I’m feeling miserable and I’m too ashamed to face the girl and her parents especially that they always have this image of ne for being mature and perfect, I know what I did is shameful and childish but I did to protect my mental health, is it wrong??

realeventwit...

Date posted: 2y

Don’t feel too guilty about it and give yourself a break, people often don’t realise how draining OCD is mentally and physically. If they can’t understand that, screw them, you’re already suffering enough don’t let that bring you down further.

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

@realeventwitsend The worst thing is that no one even knows that I got OCD, I’m keeping it as a secret and always pretend that I’m okay and doing well and that’s why they high expectations of me, they don’t know how much I suffer every single moment from this illness, and when I try to tell my father that I’m exhausted and mentally ill, he shuts me up and refuses to understand me and forces to be stronger and tolerate the pressure for the sake of others

realeventwit...

Date posted: 2y

@lyn lyn You could try having a honest discussion with him, though I’m sure you’ve tried that already, if he doesn’t want to listen or understand, screw him. Maybe you can try to have this conversation with the person you were supposed to bring to university and see if they’ll understand.

ortrist

Date posted: 2y

If you’re going to uni just have her ride with you, but if you’re too exhausted to go then don’t hold yourself accountable for not being able to give her a ride, you’re not a bad person, you deserve breaks too especially if you’re overwhelmed

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

@ortrist I’m going to uni too, but if I took her with me I will have to wake up much earlier so she can get to her class, and this made me feel anxious since I don’t get enough of sleep already because of my tiring major Now I’m feeling more selfish for thinking like this, I just thought of myself and didn’t bother to think about her situation

ortrist

Date posted: 2y

@lyn lyn Well see if she can come a little later maybe, either way you’re not a bad person for putting your well being before her ride to class

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

@ortrist Thank you for saying this 🙏🏼💜

ortrist

Date posted: 2y

@lyn lyn Of course, and don’t self harm yourself over this, it’s just a ride to class, people won’t think you’re malicious and your dads in the wrong for being upset with you

77Apples

Date posted: 2y

Not wrong at all. You are taking care of yourself and at the same time not perfect. Of course you wish you could take her or have told her ahead of time but you weren’t able to because you don’t feel good. And you are learning how to navigate these situations still. It is important to take care of yourself and that’s what you are doing, no need to feel bad. That is good self care! Probably people aren’t used to you doing that and so the more you take care of yourself they will start to get used to it. And the ones that love you will understand. One of my life lessons- sounds like you may have the same issue- is learning how to say no to people even though you really want to help. If you always say yes you’ll have helped which is nice but at the end of the day you’ll be flat on the ground and not able to function because you are depleted emotionally and physically. In this case maybe say you are sorry for cancelling last minute and that’s it. No one is going to take care of you but yourself so rather than cry and feel bad really you should feel proud of yourself for stating what you need and finally taking care of yourself! Good job!!👏

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

@77Apples I really needed to hear this, you really said what I’m thinking about and what I meant but I was thinking maybe I was giving myself excuses and I’m not really tired even though I am Thank you for saying this 💜

77Apples

Date posted: 2y

Maybe you can explain to your dad when you have more time and energy what it’s like- show him a quick video - and that his thinking is very old fashioned?😬

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

@77Apples He never understands these things unfortunately, he doesn’t believe in psychology and mental illness, however that’s a great idea, if I found a video that explains what I’m going I will send it to him

Unique121

Date posted: 2y

@lyn lyn Sometimes people need to be selfish don’t break yourself trying to be perfect for others trust me I know you do not wanna go down that path don’t harm yourself you did nothing wrong your not obligated to do anything for anyone

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

I’m crying so hard right know and I’m holding myself from doing self harm as a punishment

lyn lyn

Date posted: 2y

Thank you all for helping me 💜💜💜 without your replies maybe I would have harmed myself that day

B4ll_Tongue26

Date posted: 21w

Bad days idkk

I feel so horrible and guilty, I've been pretty depressed lately and I don't know if i'm doing something wrong or not but my mom keeps getting mad at me, and I keep getting snappy with her. The other day she tried to take a selfie with me and I kinda got mad at her because it was in front of everyone and I didn't want to get anyone uncomfortable if they were accidently in the background so I told her stop in a kind of mean way. She stopped talking to me for the rest of the night and she keeps bringing up how disrespectful I am. I tried to explain to her I didn't mean anything mean by it?? It's triggering my OCD so bad and tonight i'm going to see a band I really wanted to see, and i'm super afraid shes gonna start bringing up how mean i've been lately. I've been really depressed and upset because of school and how much work their giving me, and I've been in my room for mostly more than 10 hours a day doing nothing but watching TV because I can't bring myself out of it, I don't know what to do anymore and the guilt of me possibly being a mean and aggressive person is haunting me.

emma345

Date posted: 18w

Feel guilty about the post I made

17f Basically I made a post about POCD, saying that one phrase people often say as a reassurance is not true and it never helps me because I know it's not true. At the beginning of the post I made a warning, saying that this will be triggering for those with POCD. So I warned. And then in the comments someone started seeking reassurance and freaking out. And she said stuff that are not true again, at first I argued a bit cause well... I made a post and I wanted to defend my position, so I defended what I said. Like what I needed to do? Lie to her? Now i think that I should've just ignored that user But then after we talked she said that because of my post she now thinks she is a pedophile and will off herself and then spammed me with comments asking for reassurance At first I was trying to calm her down, saying that if her psychiatrist said that she has POCD then she is not a P and stuff, but then I just realized I can't do anything so I just replied to every one of her comments "I'm not a therapist. I can't help you. You need to seek professional help and shouldn't rely on the opinion of the strangers on the internet" Now I feel so guilty. I mean she was the one to start asking questions, and sometimes when I argue I feel too passionate to defend my position in the argument and forget about people's feelings so I said a very harsh truth to her after she started arguing with me and I made it worse for her Even though I knew how suicidal you can feel because of POCD I still argued

Dothewalkofl...

Date posted: 16w

My life has gone to shambles

Please be gentle. (Diagnosed OCD and highly suspected BPD) I lost my grandmother, someone I was very close to a month ago. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, his health is declining rapidly. My grandfather speaks of committing because of the loss of his wife. My job has become completely mentally and physically exhausting. And a close friend blocked me for unknown reasons And I’ve been coping in unhealthy ways. I stupidly weened myself off of my meds after 3 consecutive years of taking meds. I wanted to ‘feel’ again. I am an individual with very strong morals. I’d never usually do things I don’t agree with. For example sending explicit images. Something I’ve never done and said I’d never do. However i recently did it. I’m completely disgusted in myself. I never did it for pleasure, I did it because I liked the positive comments in return. I didn’t show my face in the images, but my tattoos were there, and we exchanged selfies previously. I used a fake name. I panicked and deleted everything after a few days. Blocked him. But I’m terrified he’ll spread them, or they’ll somehow lead back to me. (We are both adults btw) I’m completely disgusted, paranoid and ashamed at what I’ve done. There’s no excuse why, but I can’t forget it, I’m terrified they’ll come back to me somehow. It’s something I’ll never. Ever. Do again. I have no idea how to cope with all of this.

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