Very disturbing dream

Very disturbing dream Hi everyone, I need some advice and experience because what I experienced was really distressing. I suffer from POCD and groinal responses since I'm a teenager but my intrusive thoughts never made their way into my dreams. Until few months ago, were I started to have wet dreams about intrusive thoughts. I had a dream two nights ago that really messed me up. I can't tell it it was a lucid one, it feels like it was partially lucid. I dreamed about me watching a sexual scene with kid/teenagers but a scene that I chose. In my dream it was like I was masturbating and realized what I was watching so I tried to change the scene by imagining older people instead. But by doing so, in my dream, it was like I wasn't "responding" to the scene anymore. Like I wasn't attracted to it if it was with adults. So I just continued to watch the scene with the teenagers until I "finished". I immediatly woke up panicking and I can't stop thinking that it was real. I can still feel this feeling of not being interested by the scene with older people. Like when I think about it, I still feel like I would not be interested by it if it was with adults. It never felt that real. I don't know what to think, I'm so confused and anxious. Please, someone experienced the same thing ?

drak4

Date posted: 1y

Hi experienced a lot of s*xual dreams about my sister and few about my aunt and grandma and few homosexual. I am non of these. Dreams are sometimes weird and in a dream you can feel okay doing things you would not wanna do in real life... weird dream is not only OCD condition - but people with OCD tend to have them more - but it is HUMAN condition. Event prominent scientists psychologist and saints trought history had weird dreams. ... It sound as if you look at that dream as some literal repressed desire. But who said that is a way to interprate dreams? Acient people interpreted dreams as methaphots, symbols. Our modern notion of repressed desires coming trought in dreams is from Sigmund Freud. But he also claimed to not interpret dream in literal form - it means - context is always symbolic. Many other psychologist especially Jung interpreted dreams as metaphors. .... lucid dream is when you know ypu are in dream, not when you can make "choices". It seem as you can, but you really can not in dream like this. ... dreams are weird...i get stucked with OCD because I intepreted them as repressed desire literally... it must be always interpreted symbolically or cast away... do not bother... I had in OCD many weird dreams when it was full blown of it... not only desires, but FEARs can manifest in dreams ... and that can be your case...fear that you will not be attracted to adults anymore ... I had simmilar disturbing dreams, but about family members and about pocd I had more something as contamining a kid by negative emotion, energy... it was fear ... there is another view of dreams ans it is these recycle our daily trought in strange ways... so when we have OCD cognitively it will manifest in dream somehow...but it do not mean that you desire it, even when emotions were as you would... i had many dreams like this about family and do not desire them in that way, contrary it made my OCD back then stronger - fear emotions, not desire ... positive feeling in dream can be asocciated by symbolical thing ...hope I helped ...

JelenaP

Date posted: 1y

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, it helps a lot ! I don't know, I already had lucid dreams and sometimes I feel like I'm having one but I struggle to control it. And here, it felt like I this... I don't know I'm really lost Thank you again for your time and response

drak4

Date posted: 1y

@JelenaP dont let this dream bother you ...remember a quote " i am reality I will never betray you" - in reality you do not want these things, who cares for dreams? Yes these can be weird and diagusting, but dont have literal meaning... if these have meaning at all meaning is symbolic it can represent your fear... i encourage you have today a nice day...use some self-soathing and self-compassion exercises to feel better... you can write here if you need... i know how disturbing it can be... but a best thing to do is show yourself some care...get a coffe, good books, take a walk :D

JelenaP

Date posted: 1y

@drak4 I know that I should not care and if I knew that it was juste a weird dream I think I would be able to let go. Do you think it is still a regular dream (not a lucid one) if I try to change what I see and partially succed ? This part is really distressing, I wouldn't be so anxious if it was just a regular dream, it is the fact that I feel like it was a lucid one that really messes me up.

drak4

Date posted: 1y

@JelenaP I do not want to give you reassurance. Try to not engage so much with it. It doesnt not say anything about you. Focus on your values today.

JelenaP

Date posted: 1y

@drak4 I know, I'm sorry... I'll do my best for today ! Thank you again so much

drak4

Date posted: 1y

@JelenaP lot of luck...do not try to figure it out...it is not possible, you only do stress to yourself by it... your real life behaviours matter

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 18w

Can someone please offer words of advice :(

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 18w

Can somebody plz fking help me

Ive dealt with pocd for a very long time now and it gets more real as time goes on. I was watching a movie and I’ve read the books so I knew there was a kiss scene coming up.The actors and their characters are children but I was basically looking forward to the scene. Then as they were kissing, it looked kind of weird and mechanical because again the actor was technically still a child. And I let myself indulge and enjoy it, of how someone young was doing something sexual and adult like. Idk I feel like a fuckikg creep but I don’t WANT this. There was nothing intrusive about this, it’s just something creepy that I’ve done. I keep ruminating about it but still. I don’t identify myself by this mistake but it still sucks. My mind then went to children that I know, one girl and one boy, and them separately doing sexual things for the first time and navigating that and it feels like I like it but I don’t. It’s not as real as the movie scene because the fact I enjoyed the scene WAS real but it’s still stressing me out.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

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Very disturbing dream

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