- Date posted
- 1y
I am still having trouble getting rid of POCD.
Dear NOCD, I am still having some trouble with these thoughts, and I am afraid that no other website would come close to understanding it so much as this. People on other sites are way too judgmental and they could even hurl the worst obscenities towards me and not even try to repent. I spent two weeks ranting about them with such pure rage as to actually threaten them. That's how bad the obscenities hurled against me were, I feel wrongfully accused. I almost refused to let it go because those users despise me now. Why should I listen to them? Why should I try to make them repent for something brutal they had done to me a couple of months back? I felt such pure rage at those people that I felt like targeting them in real life, and the delusion that they possibly knew my IP address and that they might be part of a secret network of Redditors making my interactions on that site as miserable as is humanly possible gave me comfort, and the truth looked like premature death itself. I wish I got rid of POCD because it truly is something that I will never talk to anyone else about except on this board. In addition, I am afraid these thought patterns have gotten worse, as I go to great lengths to avoid children and adolescents. I won't even let them into my house or anywhere near me, period. I fear for my life because of POCD. Being accused four times on Reddit is simply a death sentence for me, and I have to go retreat into NOCD to make sure that such accusations and defamations of my character never happen again. Thoughts? Truly yours, MatthewDHall