It's very bad

So last night I tried to talk about it And I got told I shouldn't question it and that I am straight But when I got told that I had the worst chest pain in the world and now I feel even further away from being straight than ever. Idk how to pull myself back and I really do try to carry on but I feel so masculine when I am a feeling not to mention the groinal responses and butterfly emotions are really strong and I have lost my attraction to men I was close to accepting I was bi because I got relief from that but how have I even got here Is this still ocd because I feel so far away from myself and I feel like the only way out is to still accept I an bi Someone please help me work through this I can't get erp I am really lost

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

I know how u feel. I’ve lost attraction to girls too and to make things worse, I’ve lost my girlfriend too yesterday. I’d only have accepted bi if that meant I could be with my girl forever. Then I read a post and now I think I’m gay and I’m getting Worser thoughts which I know I don’t like. I’ve not had 1 erection in weeks and my sex drive is gone. I hate it so much . Seems like we are going through the same as is everyone else. Have u got snap or something which we can talk more on?

Anonymous246

Date posted: 1y

Hi I understand what you are going through. However I don't really use social media

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous246 Why does it sometimes not even feel like ocd? I jus hate how ppl say it’s denial but if it was wouldn’t I have known much quicker? And not out of the blue. Idk it’s the worst thing ever

Anonymous246

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Okay first of all it isn't denial The reason why it feels like it is Is because you are fighting for your route Before this ever came up and before any of these ideas and thoughts pop up did it really bother you at all? Before my wave happened I was completely fine, living life. Genuinely the best thing on earth Until all it takes is one vulnerability or question in your head to make you spiral out You'll be at war. You'll want the easy way out. Trust me I know. It might even eventually feel like the only way out is to be gay. I've been there But who you were before all of this. Did it really bother you? Were you unhappy being who you were? No It is taking alot of me to fight this. But keep going, really keep going This is why some of my posts are really down and some of them are up Progress isn't straightforward you are going to be falling off track and then feeling like it will get better and I know it takes time I am the most impatient person on earth but if you remember really really strongly who you are before and not get influenced by every single idea that makes it feel like those thoughts are your relief You'll get out. Trust me

jag92

Date posted: 1y

I’m the same! The denial feels soooo strong! I wish I would be ok with being a lesbian cause then maybe it would be a way out of feeling this way but I really don’t want to be 😞 I’m at my wits end now

geodrimilis

Date posted: 23w

I need this to end.

I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.

Sexual Orientation OCD

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 22w

feeling helpless

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.

What is happ...

Date posted: 19w

Questions… I don’t want reassurance just advice

I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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