It's very bad

So last night I tried to talk about it And I got told I shouldn't question it and that I am straight But when I got told that I had the worst chest pain in the world and now I feel even further away from being straight than ever. Idk how to pull myself back and I really do try to carry on but I feel so masculine when I am a feeling not to mention the groinal responses and butterfly emotions are really strong and I have lost my attraction to men I was close to accepting I was bi because I got relief from that but how have I even got here Is this still ocd because I feel so far away from myself and I feel like the only way out is to still accept I an bi Someone please help me work through this I can't get erp I am really lost

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

I know how u feel. I’ve lost attraction to girls too and to make things worse, I’ve lost my girlfriend too yesterday. I’d only have accepted bi if that meant I could be with my girl forever. Then I read a post and now I think I’m gay and I’m getting Worser thoughts which I know I don’t like. I’ve not had 1 erection in weeks and my sex drive is gone. I hate it so much . Seems like we are going through the same as is everyone else. Have u got snap or something which we can talk more on?

Anonymous246

Date posted: 1y

Hi I understand what you are going through. However I don't really use social media

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous246 Why does it sometimes not even feel like ocd? I jus hate how ppl say it’s denial but if it was wouldn’t I have known much quicker? And not out of the blue. Idk it’s the worst thing ever

Anonymous246

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Okay first of all it isn't denial The reason why it feels like it is Is because you are fighting for your route Before this ever came up and before any of these ideas and thoughts pop up did it really bother you at all? Before my wave happened I was completely fine, living life. Genuinely the best thing on earth Until all it takes is one vulnerability or question in your head to make you spiral out You'll be at war. You'll want the easy way out. Trust me I know. It might even eventually feel like the only way out is to be gay. I've been there But who you were before all of this. Did it really bother you? Were you unhappy being who you were? No It is taking alot of me to fight this. But keep going, really keep going This is why some of my posts are really down and some of them are up Progress isn't straightforward you are going to be falling off track and then feeling like it will get better and I know it takes time I am the most impatient person on earth but if you remember really really strongly who you are before and not get influenced by every single idea that makes it feel like those thoughts are your relief You'll get out. Trust me

jag92

Date posted: 1y

I’m the same! The denial feels soooo strong! I wish I would be ok with being a lesbian cause then maybe it would be a way out of feeling this way but I really don’t want to be 😞 I’m at my wits end now

What is happ...

Date posted: 22w

Questions… I don’t want reassurance just advice

I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Vee <3

Date posted: 19w

Heyyyy!

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Pogoshow

Date posted: 15w

SOOCD

I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments

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