Idk what any of my feelings mean now my groinel responses have gotten way worse when it comes to men’s private areas sometimes it’s stronger in different times of the day idk what to do does it actual mean something like do I like men cause that’s my hocd is making me feel but Ik k would never like men sexually can someone help
Act Like You Like it Say things that indicate you actually like what OCD is telling you to fear. Fake smile, laugh, take on relaxed body posture. Utilize Mindfulness Bring yourself fully into the present. Describe the exposure task. Name your fears and emotions. Label & Abandon Label the ritual as something OCD and fear want you to do. It is your choice not to do them. Do anything but the ritual! Take a walk, watch T.V., or even pick your nose! Sit With It Ultimately, response prevention is about doing nothing-- refusing to engage in the behavior OCD wants you to. The more distress you feel, the faster your body and brain will begin to habituate. Teach Your Brain These fears and obsessions have no purpose or value! Ask yourself if these thoughts are really serving you in the long run, or if they are strengthening OCD. Opposite Action Do the opposite of what your fear tells you. When it says to avoid, instead, approach! This is what counselors call the healing paradox. Delay or Postpone Delay doing compulsions or rituals that OCD tells you to do. Wait 5 minutes and up to multiple days! Undo It Do a behavior or think a thought that goes against your compulsions. Examples are, thinking of something unlucky or touching something dirty after washing hands. Act Like You Don't Care Say things that indicate an attitude of indifference. It's okay to feel like you're acting! Use Your Supports Ask family, friends, or loved ones for words of encouragement. Avoid reassurance! Add to OCD Shock your bully into submission by agreeing with it. “I am a bad person, thank you! I think I’ll be an even worse person tomorrow!" You do not actually have to believe these, you are simply facing your bully. Shock Your OCD Shock your fear by digging even deeper and exposing yourself to more feared stimuli. Think, "I'll show you not to mess with me!" Make It Ridiculous Make fun of OCD! Say your obsessive thoughts out loud in a funny or really slow voice Reward Yourself Reward yourself whenever you do an exposure and don't engage in compulsions or rituals! R.I.D.E. It Out Rename the thought: "This is OCD, not me." Insist that YOU are in charge. Defy OCD. Do the opposite. Enjoy your success--> "I did it, and I can do it again." Breathe Take a moment to do some box breathing to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. 5-5-7 Accept Separate feelings of shame and guilt from the fact that you have intrusive thoughts and fears. Accept the process and your efforts. It's okay to make mistakes. Meditate Bring yourself into an attitude of detached observation. Focus on your breathing. Commit to Uncertainty When OCD & fear tell you to figure something out, commit to being uncertain. Say to yourself, "Maybe, maybe not..." Name Your Stregnths Without reassuring yourself, name your unchangeable qualities. "I am brave. I can do hard things. I am strong."
@Anon113444422 Thank you
Hey man, I understand the panic and the need to figure it all out. I was given some relief when I gave myself some permission to stop pumping so much mental energy into trying to figure it out or solve “THE PROBLEM” and just accept such big things as unknown, and move on with my life in the ways I can. After some time they weren’t such big things, and maybe weren’t all along.
@2021To2022 Idk I feel like I need to figure it out I feel like I can’t enjoy my life like I used too and I’m only 16 I just wanna enjoy my teen years and this is making it so hard too idk how this even started one day I just randomly start having intrusive thoughts and it hasn’t gotten better since
Hey man, damn, I’m really sorry to hear that it’s taken away so much enjoyment from your life. It sounds like you’re going through a lot. And hey, your efforts in figuring it out have led you to some good things like you’re here on NOCD. You’re doing really well and good and handling a really difficult affliction man. I know I make it sound simple, and it’s definitely not the only thing to it… It’s easier said than done, of course, I know. And there’s times when the brain definitely “locks on” and that fixation is so hard to fight. But in the less intense moments, the more moderate triggers, there is this wiggle room where you can choose to respond with trying to figure it out or what it actually means, or how it really works….oorrr you could try something new. You could try not figuring it out. Maybe those horrible worst case scenarios are true, sure maybe, but how about instead of pumping so much mental energy into it, just not engage, shrug, and say “sure, whatever” and then return to what your eyes see in the day around you.
@2021To2022 I’m scared and I don’t want it to be true
Ok thanks all try
You are stronger than you even know man. I really think you can get back to all the things in your life you love soon, you got this. There’s some YouTube videos that also helped me understand my brain so much better too. One is on the NOCD channel called “How to Accept Uncertainty with OCD” on the NOCD channel and another is “How to Help Someone with OCD” on a channel called “OCD and Anxiety”. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk again.
Thank you
Man I’m 17 and I had the same. I’m turning 18 this year and I have had hocd for the last 2 months. I overcame it in 2022 and it came back after a Yesr n a half. Now it’s much Worser as it doubts my previous attraction and fully makes me feel I’m gay. We gotta get out of this together man. We all wanna live the life we’ve always wanted. Remember, sexuality does not change. Whatever u was before this, that is what u are! Be strong. I’m not strong either but I’m trying. U need to aswel
@Anonymo12 Thanks man we will get through it sucks but we will
@adrian123356;, We will man ofc
It’s feels my mind is taking over me
@adrian123356;, I feel the same way. Don’t worry ur not alone. Ur not gay. As long as u keep that in ur mind u are fine. Ur scared and u feel anxiety. A gay guy would never be scared or feel uncomfortable. They would be happy. We ain’t happy
I hear you man. That fear you feel, that “scared” makes total sense and is normal. But listen, you’re a brave guy, okay. Like basically you’re taking the power away from the anxieties and beliefs that are telling you “you couldn’t handle it if…” or “you need to make sure it’s not this…” and you’re taking that power back to your own. You’re freeing your mind to return to the present and not habitually run the cycle of thoughts and worries growing stronger because you struggle to reassure yourself that they aren’t true. Question for you: have you had the opportunity to sign up for a therapy session with a therapist from NOCD? I don’t work for NOCD or anything, but working with a specialist is truly life changing, because they can help you step by step man.
@2021To2022 Bro, u overcame hocd ? And have u lived happily? I jus know it’s ocd and these thoughts ain’t real. We shouldn’t say to someone that the thoughts maybe are real because they are not. We should leave it to uncertainty and let the thoughts pass in our heads
@Anonymo12 @Anonymo12 Hey there, hope you’re doing well. My point in saying the “maybe” phrases are as an example of the attitude we can have to the thoughts as they pop up in our head. You see how that word is leaving it to uncertainty? It isn’t one way or the other, it isn’t definite, it’s saying “sure, whatever, but I’m not going to give up my whole day trying to prove one way or the other, I’m moving on” it’s an attitude of refusing to engage with the OCD. HOCD tells you that it’s NOT OKAY to have uncertainty in matters of sexuality. Think about what you are fearing the most. It’s turning and looking that fear in the face, and saying, “eh, I’ll be fine” and moving on with your day. That anxiety will continually pull you into trying to figure it out, and little by little you get into the habit of “whatever” or “eh I don’t know” or “maybe” and you’re learning to accept uncertainty.
@2021To2022 Ohhhh I agree this helps a lot it lets u Atleast get on with ur day witjout anxiety. Doesn’t need to be done and be anxious. If I knw it’s not true ocd cannot tell me otherwise. Leave it to uncertainty
@Anonymo12 Also, keep in mind that you are strong enough to continue your day WITH anxiety. You’re strong enough to let it buzz like noise in the background and ignore it (move on with your life). That’s actually huge in how over time anxiety gets smaller and smaller because you aren’t feeding the fire anymore, you aren’t arguing with it or trying to prove it wrong, you’re just ignoring it like an annoying broken alarm in the background telling you “everything is wrong and the world will end!!” But once you ignore it more and more your brain learns, the world isn’t ending, and you’re actually okay man. Peace be to you :)
@2021To2022 I’m 17 turning 18. Soocd ruins so many days but then some days are calm but background noise is reall. I jus say maybe maybe not. It’s worder when my sex drive and attraction to girls are low rn. Hope to get past this
You’re young and you’re really lucky to find out about OCD (and the subtypes, POCD, HOCD, etc) and the fact that VERY effective treatment is available. I’d recommend getting a therapist to talk to. Everyone (especially me in August of 2021) felt that “NO BUT MY OCD IS MORE SERIOUS” like there’s something definitely more working in the background, more real and serious and not to be taken lightly.
Idk I’m in a tough situation I don’t wannna get a therapist cause I don’t want my parents thinking I’m sick
Oh man. Hey. Don’t worry about that. Everyone has issues from time to time. Please, your parents love you right? They would definitely want you to get to talk to someone who could help you out of a difficult situation, right? Don’t let yourself keep suffering because you don’t want to see what your parents would say, or you worry what they would think. Your life is yours, Adrian, you are responsible for taking care of Adrian, even after your parents die, you are responsible for taking care of yourself. Take this simple step in getting treatment. The first 15 minute free phone call with a consultant from NOCD is free and you could ask them all the questions you have about insurance, or whatever.
Hey bro I’ve been talking to a therapist and this is what was suggested to me, I experience the same thing as you. You need to know that we all experience the same thing feel at ease that it is not you; you are not your thoughts. Your brains job is to think that’s why it’s called an apparatus the brain does not know your morals and values your heart does you choose what you want based on your moral compass which comes from the heart. Be strong like you already are and know that as time passes it will ease bro just don’t entertain the thoughts and do the opposite of what ocd is telling you to do
Ughhhhh I’ve had the groinal all day and it really hurts is there any sort of medicine or something that reduces feelings of “arousal” that can just completely knock out the groinal or at least lower the symptoms of it? I know a lot of medications cause extremely low sex drive but idm it because I’m asexual and don’t ever plan on having sex because I literally hate everything sexual. I’m just so tired of this and it’s been hurting me all day it’s so aggravatinggggg I haven’t even been able to focus due to my somatic ocd I’m constantly aware of all my unconscious bodily functions and it makes me wanna rip my hair out
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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