Advice?

So months ago I had pretty bad pocd and later on I realized my mind was just lying to me and logically ik for a fact I’m not a ped0 but the fact that I even had those thoughts and had the obsession fills me with so much guilt and shame because it’s not a normal thing to have anxiety about and I feel horrible still and so alienated from everyone around me and I don’t even feel like myself still it follows me around everywhere I go and it’s a constant reminder that I thought I was a ped0 at some point. In this moment I really don’t know how to move past it and not feel shame or guilt or feel like a normal person.

Lyka693

Date posted: 1y

I think for me some things that got rid of some of shame was sharing at times to those closest to me to help me navigate but also knowing when it wasn't necessary. What's also helping me a lot right now with pocd is the neurocycle...Im no doc but this is just a small piece of a program I'm doing It's teaching my brain to start to rewire the shame, guilt, etc. I've learned that with each toxic thought we have emotions, behaviors, and perspectives that we've wired in and when one gets triggered other stuff prob automatically comes up with it bc we've created kind of a toxic thought tree where it's all connected. But we can rewire this tree into a healthy tree. With pocd we've wired in a lot of self condemnation, at least for me. So say you see a child...automatically you get feelings of guilt,unwanted thoughts mb unwanted sensations....etc. Well it is important to not give these thoughts meaning, mb with ocd therapy examples like ok whatever, sure dumb thought....but I've learned for example to ground myself with different techniques....one is a breathing technique for example....breathe in the words 7 counts"think, feel" breathe out the word 3 counts "choose" to ground yourself. Then I use a statement I created through the program to divert my thinking to a positive foundation...for instance "Instead of being anxious I am taking control of my peace of mind. Anxiety will LOSE it's power." And I say it and divert my attention back to what I was doing.....comes in say it again....etc Another example for say sensations I may say ok my body can feel whatever, just letting these things pass through(ocd therapy) then a statement(neurocycle)to reinforce my real foundation and redirect my thinking "I disconnect the physical sensations from the detail of this memory/fear" ....you can even visualize something like pulling weeds Or something like "I am loving ,I am kind, I am pure of mind and heart" Bc we wire these thoughts in with faulty foundations of shame, guilt.....we can reinforce the truth to get us back to how we really should be seeing ourselves, not something based on lies. Hope this helps some

Mari3

Date posted: 1y

Realize you're not the only one experiencing this I also been experiencing this for the past year but u gotta remember these intrusive thoughts are things u are against everybody has intrusive thoughts it's just with people with ocd we tend to put a bigger meaning behind them

Nic12

Date posted: 1y

You are not alone. I feel the same. I am trying to get past it but finding it difficult. I thought I had moved past this but I haven’t & that makes me question even more why I have these thoughts

ughhhh

Date posted: 22w

I feel gross interacting with adult content.

18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says “this proves that your thoughts are true and your perverse” and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me “you traumatized her she just doesn’t wanna tell you” obliviously this isn’t true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that they’re more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just can’t get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.

danielllll

Date posted: 16w

Feeling extremely guilty and don’t know what to do

I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. I’ve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my family’s thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. That’s all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didn’t know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking “what if I went farther and hurt him?”. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesn’t even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now it’s even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. I’m traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I won’t touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.

isharemycigs

Date posted: 14w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

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