- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I got freaking depressed due to this and look at me? Im a mess. Im out here cursing and shit while i neved used to do that. Nothing is left of my old personality, of my innocense and purity. I know this sounds so extrembe but it hit me, there really is no way back huh? Everyone who doesn tgo trough this is SO SO SO Damn lukcy.
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand what u feel right now but just be strong and let it pass you will get yourself back because i feel like im getting normal when i choose to ignore these hocd thought and i know it is really hard to ignore because it feels so real and sometimes even indistinguishable but i am telling you from my and others who are facing the same hocd like us you will get yourself back
- Date posted
- 5y
Have really bad hocd too along with every other theme. Its fucking frustrating and exhausting.not gonna say shit like it'll get better and just keep fighting cuz I hate hearing that cliche bullshit.but just know I'm sorry you suffer from this and I understand how much it destroys your life.i wish you and me could be like most people and just be
- Date posted
- 5y
@HOCDiagnosed wow thank you for telling a hocd diagnoses person that! At least a trigger warning would help. Im sorry if u were just trying to help but maybe youve noticed im freaking out and calling me anyrhing other than straigjt right now is not helping. Like what even is heteroromanric bisexual??? I want you to know that all i knew before hocd was that k liked guys. Period. Im sorry for going off but all these terms for sexuality seem so bullshit to me. I jusr want back how i used to be.
- Date posted
- 5y
@jujuandocd thanks for helping me out! Girls like you made me feel not so alone, i know what u mean and ive seen so many woman saying the same and i do understand that im feeaking out for no reason. Bur hocd is here and i cant ger rid of it now. Its litteraly turning everything sexual and poisening everything i used to love. I wish i knew this before hocd. I probably wouldnt be here. Anyway it really helps hearing from girls like you :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@HOCDaignosed its okay, i have my moments where i freak out. I get that ur only trying to help so please dont feel bad because of my response. I just want you to know that as a person with hocd its really really hard to hear that theyre anything other than straight. Im not seeking reassurance right now but im at a point where im really stressing and when im at a point like that jts hard to hear what u said. I wish you wouldve noticed that i wasnt feeling good and i was panicking but i also cant expect you to read my emotions so im sorry if i offended u. Thanks for trying to help me :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly, the logic behind it is absolutely zilch.
- Date posted
- 5y
@ergot25 i truly wish all of us wouldnt have to analzy every single thought and emotion we have. I wish we could just live in the moment like normal people.
- Date posted
- 5y
Juppp and i did got turned on. But i never liked girls in a romanric way. So basically i liked guys but knew i got turned om buy girls jn porn. So that didnt frighten me and i jusr lived with that. Till one day i started thinking like hold tf up. Im gay. Thats where my hocd came to life. I never was attracted to a girl in real life but still my hocd told me i liked girls in a romantic way and thats whats killing me. I later learned that there are litteraly sooooo many girls out there who are straight and turned on by girls in porn. If only j knew that earlier i truly think all of this didnt happend. It turns out to be a compeltely normal thing to get turned om by boobs in porn for a girl. In real life ive never felt attracted to a woman, i did felt atteacted to men but that stopped ever since hocd. Now my hocd is trying to convince me i like woman in real life
- Date posted
- 5y
Sexual orientation and romantic orientation should be put together. I think that saying their separate is fictional babble said by people to give more labels.
- Date posted
- 5y
@TheReptileCyka couldnr agree more. U see ur self marrying a woman or a man like its not ur gonna have a sexual Relatilnship with only woman and and then go on cute dates with only guys? It really doesnt make sense.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 18w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
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