- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I got freaking depressed due to this and look at me? Im a mess. Im out here cursing and shit while i neved used to do that. Nothing is left of my old personality, of my innocense and purity. I know this sounds so extrembe but it hit me, there really is no way back huh? Everyone who doesn tgo trough this is SO SO SO Damn lukcy.
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand what u feel right now but just be strong and let it pass you will get yourself back because i feel like im getting normal when i choose to ignore these hocd thought and i know it is really hard to ignore because it feels so real and sometimes even indistinguishable but i am telling you from my and others who are facing the same hocd like us you will get yourself back
- Date posted
- 5y
Have really bad hocd too along with every other theme. Its fucking frustrating and exhausting.not gonna say shit like it'll get better and just keep fighting cuz I hate hearing that cliche bullshit.but just know I'm sorry you suffer from this and I understand how much it destroys your life.i wish you and me could be like most people and just be
- Date posted
- 5y
@HOCDiagnosed wow thank you for telling a hocd diagnoses person that! At least a trigger warning would help. Im sorry if u were just trying to help but maybe youve noticed im freaking out and calling me anyrhing other than straigjt right now is not helping. Like what even is heteroromanric bisexual??? I want you to know that all i knew before hocd was that k liked guys. Period. Im sorry for going off but all these terms for sexuality seem so bullshit to me. I jusr want back how i used to be.
- Date posted
- 5y
@jujuandocd thanks for helping me out! Girls like you made me feel not so alone, i know what u mean and ive seen so many woman saying the same and i do understand that im feeaking out for no reason. Bur hocd is here and i cant ger rid of it now. Its litteraly turning everything sexual and poisening everything i used to love. I wish i knew this before hocd. I probably wouldnt be here. Anyway it really helps hearing from girls like you :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@HOCDaignosed its okay, i have my moments where i freak out. I get that ur only trying to help so please dont feel bad because of my response. I just want you to know that as a person with hocd its really really hard to hear that theyre anything other than straight. Im not seeking reassurance right now but im at a point where im really stressing and when im at a point like that jts hard to hear what u said. I wish you wouldve noticed that i wasnt feeling good and i was panicking but i also cant expect you to read my emotions so im sorry if i offended u. Thanks for trying to help me :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly, the logic behind it is absolutely zilch.
- Date posted
- 5y
@ergot25 i truly wish all of us wouldnt have to analzy every single thought and emotion we have. I wish we could just live in the moment like normal people.
- Date posted
- 5y
Juppp and i did got turned on. But i never liked girls in a romanric way. So basically i liked guys but knew i got turned om buy girls jn porn. So that didnt frighten me and i jusr lived with that. Till one day i started thinking like hold tf up. Im gay. Thats where my hocd came to life. I never was attracted to a girl in real life but still my hocd told me i liked girls in a romantic way and thats whats killing me. I later learned that there are litteraly sooooo many girls out there who are straight and turned on by girls in porn. If only j knew that earlier i truly think all of this didnt happend. It turns out to be a compeltely normal thing to get turned om by boobs in porn for a girl. In real life ive never felt attracted to a woman, i did felt atteacted to men but that stopped ever since hocd. Now my hocd is trying to convince me i like woman in real life
- Date posted
- 5y
Sexual orientation and romantic orientation should be put together. I think that saying their separate is fictional babble said by people to give more labels.
- Date posted
- 5y
@TheReptileCyka couldnr agree more. U see ur self marrying a woman or a man like its not ur gonna have a sexual Relatilnship with only woman and and then go on cute dates with only guys? It really doesnt make sense.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 16w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 10w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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