- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I got freaking depressed due to this and look at me? Im a mess. Im out here cursing and shit while i neved used to do that. Nothing is left of my old personality, of my innocense and purity. I know this sounds so extrembe but it hit me, there really is no way back huh? Everyone who doesn tgo trough this is SO SO SO Damn lukcy.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand what u feel right now but just be strong and let it pass you will get yourself back because i feel like im getting normal when i choose to ignore these hocd thought and i know it is really hard to ignore because it feels so real and sometimes even indistinguishable but i am telling you from my and others who are facing the same hocd like us you will get yourself back
- Date posted
- 6y
Have really bad hocd too along with every other theme. Its fucking frustrating and exhausting.not gonna say shit like it'll get better and just keep fighting cuz I hate hearing that cliche bullshit.but just know I'm sorry you suffer from this and I understand how much it destroys your life.i wish you and me could be like most people and just be
- Date posted
- 6y
@HOCDiagnosed wow thank you for telling a hocd diagnoses person that! At least a trigger warning would help. Im sorry if u were just trying to help but maybe youve noticed im freaking out and calling me anyrhing other than straigjt right now is not helping. Like what even is heteroromanric bisexual??? I want you to know that all i knew before hocd was that k liked guys. Period. Im sorry for going off but all these terms for sexuality seem so bullshit to me. I jusr want back how i used to be.
- Date posted
- 6y
@jujuandocd thanks for helping me out! Girls like you made me feel not so alone, i know what u mean and ive seen so many woman saying the same and i do understand that im feeaking out for no reason. Bur hocd is here and i cant ger rid of it now. Its litteraly turning everything sexual and poisening everything i used to love. I wish i knew this before hocd. I probably wouldnt be here. Anyway it really helps hearing from girls like you :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@HOCDaignosed its okay, i have my moments where i freak out. I get that ur only trying to help so please dont feel bad because of my response. I just want you to know that as a person with hocd its really really hard to hear that theyre anything other than straight. Im not seeking reassurance right now but im at a point where im really stressing and when im at a point like that jts hard to hear what u said. I wish you wouldve noticed that i wasnt feeling good and i was panicking but i also cant expect you to read my emotions so im sorry if i offended u. Thanks for trying to help me :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly, the logic behind it is absolutely zilch.
- Date posted
- 6y
@ergot25 i truly wish all of us wouldnt have to analzy every single thought and emotion we have. I wish we could just live in the moment like normal people.
- Date posted
- 6y
Juppp and i did got turned on. But i never liked girls in a romanric way. So basically i liked guys but knew i got turned om buy girls jn porn. So that didnt frighten me and i jusr lived with that. Till one day i started thinking like hold tf up. Im gay. Thats where my hocd came to life. I never was attracted to a girl in real life but still my hocd told me i liked girls in a romantic way and thats whats killing me. I later learned that there are litteraly sooooo many girls out there who are straight and turned on by girls in porn. If only j knew that earlier i truly think all of this didnt happend. It turns out to be a compeltely normal thing to get turned om by boobs in porn for a girl. In real life ive never felt attracted to a woman, i did felt atteacted to men but that stopped ever since hocd. Now my hocd is trying to convince me i like woman in real life
- Date posted
- 6y
Sexual orientation and romantic orientation should be put together. I think that saying their separate is fictional babble said by people to give more labels.
- Date posted
- 6y
@TheReptileCyka couldnr agree more. U see ur self marrying a woman or a man like its not ur gonna have a sexual Relatilnship with only woman and and then go on cute dates with only guys? It really doesnt make sense.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 12w
Hi,im a fourteen years old girl. I live in a homophobic country,and i dont have any experience. I grew up and became homophobic just like my family and my religion.but in 13 year old.i was questioning why lgptq is illegal?while they are just being them and can’t select what they are? So..i became an agnostic or atheist by secret.oh,by addition,before i became atheist i was making sure i don’t like women,like looking at women pics and imagine some romantic or sexual senarios just to find out,(and i wasnt feel anything and didnt like them),and i was happy and comfort for being straight (i was liking fictional men and some actors,within experience except an online male friend i liked but we didn’t date).but after being atheist,its like fire,i start developing HOCD,im not officially have that because I can’t have a therapist,but i have the Symptoms 100%. I didnt know whats hocd ,i find out whats it before a month.when i was struggling with it like 7 months,so,i think it started when i was in very close friendship with a girl in school,i was confused.if i liked her or not,i was imagining,questioning,making scenarios,but i couldnt have an answer,but then i was comfort to keep it just friendship.when the questions about her go,i can see her normally as a friend and i dont think of her or text her every day and it sometimes reaches months in summer holidays and its normally to me,no romantic acts about her,but then i had a new friend to the group and i had the same thoughts and questions to her.and now my brain questioning if i like them both😢.ok.this gone.this is before year,before being atheist.after being.i was questioning “do i like women?” Or when i see a fictional woman,i start to look at her and questioning myself and try to catch any feeling,i swear i would accept myself to be gay or bisexual,but i just can’t feel or accept that..i feel like burn.i cried and cried.it somedays turns so hard that I can’t even study or live normally.i also started to lose my attraction to men.i feel like its gone,I can’t now imagine being a man without getting uncomfortable,i miss the days when i was enjoying imagining kissing and sexing with a man.but,hocd,always reminds me i have no experience,and its all imaginary,so I don’t have a real clue from beginning that im straight.and i also read an girl experience with hocd and she became a lesbian at the end,i get so scary.it feels so real.i just wanna cry forever.im afraid that i will like a girl in the future,it chock me and burns.i hate this feeling.to thr god i dont know or believe in,please,if i like women,just let me feel it normally without this fear and hurting.i dont want to be gay.i dont want to like women.i dont want to be bisexual or lesbian.but if being any of those but comfort without this feeling that makes me wanna suicide.i would accept,please.just please,i even can’t get a therapist,even online,i just want help.please.i dont want to be like those girls that find out they liked women all the time,im scared,i miss my old feelings and trusting.i hate this.i just want to die if its mean hocd to go.i feel like its so real and i will love a girl no way in hell future.i even feel its not wrong to like women,like its much better and more soft that men,but i just can’t.I can’t.i dont know,i did everything.i gave myself permission to find out or explore my attraction to the both genders but it hurts me more.i dont want to get hurts again anymore.just remembering i have no experience or clue i like men even if in past felt like i would like and date a man and liven with him,i keep reminding its all was Based on imagination…even if i was wishing to love a man,hocd ruined this peaceful feeling,i was really find peaceful of loving a man.but now,i don’t feel like before,and this scares me,i don’t know what to do.I can’t have a therapist,and dont even know how to get better,,,
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