I started reflecting on everything I’ve been through and accomplished in the last 2 1/2 years. I felt stress since life is up and down but also really good in this moment and realized wow i don’t even remember the last time i had intrusive thoughts, anxiety or uncomfortable gut reactions. Of course the next few days i could feel it creeping back into my mind and body and i’m fixating on “what if i would be happier with someone else?” “I should leave”, “maybe i will leave.” Then come the images of me splitting with my husband to be with some other guy i’m friends with and whom has a girlfriend and i’m married. I have gotten to the point where i have excepted my OCD it runs in the fanily and ive had it since i was very young and belive it was induced by my childhood tramas. I am feeling guilty now, i know love is a choice my husbnad abd i are going on 3 years at the end of the month and we have our highs and lows but never anything bad. I am just feeling gross inside and know i need to go to counseling but i just had a counselor steal money from me and i’m dreading finding a new one. I am okay but these feelings of what if with another person are frightening me sometimes when i’m around this person i have thoughts like “I think he likes me” and then i get nervous. I honestly think he may like me in some way we have a lot in common and he likes to talk to me but the whole ROCD, magical thinking, or maybe this is really happening is really bothering me. I’m not looking for reassurance or help I just needed to vent, but if anyone else is in the same boat or have experienced anything like this feel free to share. Thanks.

I’m going through same thing at moment for 3 months I’ve been obsessing that my partner of 5 years isn’t right for me etc etc I love her very very much .. last week or so it’s like I’ve convinced myself it’s over and I just feel numb to it it then I’ll get it waves of emotion that I do want to be with her and I do really really love her then when I realise we’ve had a good day or having fun I feel really guilty and shameful thinking I’m stringing her along it’s awful we rarely argue and get on great we’re due to get married next year it’s just like I have this mental block at moment .. keep fighting all the best

Thank you for sharing! Another think i have learned is it is completely normal to fall in and out of love, a lot of people don’t know this and thats part of why relationships fail, because love is a choice. I got married last year and for the whole year prior i fell disconnected, guilt, like i way using him, lying, that i didn’t love him, but there were moments that i knew i did and everyone around me kept rooting for me to stay and try. So i held on to the little good memories i could make that were not filled with theses horrible thoughts and feelings and fought for us because i really love him. Now MY ROCD has lessened but if i start thinking “wow its been a while since I’ve had those thoughts and feelings” then it comes back i guess because i’m thinking about it?

That made my day knowing i could help! Stay strong. Kiyomi changed my life!

3 days into her course fingers crossed I can come out the other side thanks again

U don’t realise how much that’s just helped me hearing that I get severe urges to end it etc but a little tiny feeling and thought creeps up saying don’t it’s not really what u want ... then anxiety sky rockets but I know she is everything I want kiyomi fae states on 1 of her videos the more u want something the less u will feel it when the ocd is spiked I totally get that the moments of clarity are heaven thanks for sharing