I get a lot of “what if” thoughts and false memories. How do we determine false memories and real memories ? It’s so hard especially being in a relationship I have “what if” thoughts and false memories about kissing someone else.
Hii ik this is late but I was looking for discussions about this topic I’ve been recently been feeling this and I’ve never had thoughts like this in my life before and it’s freaking me out and I’m going back to college soon and I don’t wanna be in fear everytime I walk around a guy with my mind tricking me abt something. Did u ever get ahold of this or do u have any tips that may help me feel more at ease im not sure what to do about it
@slaygirl19 Yes! It really really freaked me out when it first started happening. And I am still getting them! I am currently pregnant now too with my first child with the same guy I’ve been in a relationship with while having these thoughts, and they have gotten so bad bc I had to get off my medication and what not. And honestly I’ve had these thoughts for a while and I still can’t determine what is real and what is fake but I realized that the more I sit with it and say “maybe it’s real maybe it’s fake” the truth eventually comes out in my mind. It’s really really weird. If you need anyone to talk to about these who understands I am here for you. I was so alone with these and they’re really painful so I don’t want anyone else to be alone either. I go to therapy on here for it and in person as well and that’s truly helped as well.
@number7 Or “maybe that happened maybe it didn’t”
The thing is it’s pretty hard to know what’s right and what isn’t. But the thing is sometimes when we get scared of having done sth bad and then start to try and remember, our brain fills up our lost memories with things that haven’t even happened. You need to learn to not try and remember them at all.
I have the exact same fear. My fear is “what if I cheated on my bf and cannot remember?” (FYI my previous fear was “what if my bf cheats on me?”) I keep ruminating about past encounters with male colleagues and friends, trying to figure out if I’ve done something inappropriate. Feeling the urge to contact these friends and colleagues to ask for reassurance but I know this is OCD (because of the urgency I feel, trying to want to solve it asap) I try not to engage with my thoughts. Very difficult but the more you try to figure it out, the more anxious you get and the more your brain will perceive it as a threat.
@Yuko It’s so hard to overcome these things because of the fear of losing my bf. I’ve tried to avoid it for so long and I thought it was getting better but out of the blue yesterday it came back worse.
@Yuko I have the exact same thoughts as you literally. It’s nice to hear someone understands.
@number7 I’m glad that someone understands too :) we can do this!! I think what makes this topic extra hard is the feeling of guilt and shame that comes with it… some days I feel like breaking up with my bf just to end this anxiety but then that’ll mean I gave in to OCD so I’m trying hard not to let it control my life. It really is annoying that it latches onto what we really care about; our relationship.
@Yuko Literally. This whole theme of ocd started in my last relationship for the very first time ever and I actually seemed like a crazy person. It’s really hard not to ask for reassurance that nothing happened because people look at you like you’re schizophrenic or something.
@Yuko You’re one of the only people on this app who understands my ocd thought process and I’m really struggling tonight. I don’t have anyone to turn to. I don’t know what to do or how to stop it.
@number7 :( I feel you I am fighting with OCD on a daily basis too. I’ve been resisting my compulsion for 3 weeks now and it’s getting slightly better but not completely gone. How are you?
@Yuko Still fighting. It’s been really difficult. It’s been about the same amount of time as you.
@number7 Sigh it’s so tough right. Especially because you can’t really confide with your partner because probably they’ll be like “what do you mean you can’t remember you cheat?” And I mean they are right to react that way too :( If you don’t mind me asking, what are your compulsions?
@Yuko I want to reach out to the person I’m suspecting and ask if anything happened. I’ve done it before in the past and most people have been understanding.
@Yuko How have you been Yuko? It’s been a while! Has your OCD gotten any better?
@number7 Hello! I would say the thoughts come back sometimes still, but overall better than before. How about you?
Anyone know how to know the difference between real and false memory because I don’t know if it’s false but feels real it’s fits in with what happened in the best and it’s just the worst to deal with
Do “false memories” start off as an intrusive thought? Mine have always started off like “what if___” then I go back in my past and my brain fills the gaps. You know how it goes. Like there’s no real memories even attached to these thoughts.
It starts off with thinking you’ve done something wrong but it’s hazy it doesn’t say what but it fits with what you’re afraid of. It then starts adding pictures and scenarios and they start to become more and more detailed until you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years of the same false memories occasionally adding more details. Has anyone else had this experience of false memories becoming so detailed it’s hard to argue against?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
