Just need some hope

@ Skyline 🕊️ I like when you said we are not our thoughts, because my OCD mind takes me to the worst places and it gives me terrible anxiety and worry because I don’t want to think those thoughts and I don’t want to believe them and I know they bs but it’s the fact that ocd latches onto them so deep that it effects me and scares me. I would do anything to go back to how I was before when I didn’t have a care in the world.

@Nate S It’s convincing too.. the anxiety we get with the thoughts make us some how feel that is who we are when in reality it’s not. It’s just our warped perception of what we feel when we have the thoughts and what they mean. Constantly on a search for the meaning of things. I think that’s what most OCD brains are like. And I feel that… somedays deeply about wanting to go back. But what I’ve learned is we can’t damage ourselves trying to force the old us back. Accept that this is just the way it is. Maybe not forever but just right now. And live with that, with a smile even if it’s fake. You will get through this and things slowly will get back to normal but for right now just let things be. I hope the DARE app helps you the way it helped me. ❤️‍🩹

@Resilientgal77 I have not been googling anything about this besides here or on discord which I know I shouldn’t be. This all started 9/7/23 after Thursday night football when I was watching the news and they were reporting about some kid who ended his parents. Then it spiraled from there, anything from dreams, clones, aliens, simulation etc. I was fine in October for 2 weeks and then it came back just when I was living good and started to enjoy life again. But ofc OCD doesn’t give up that easy and now the thoughts I was past in September are back again and trying to combine multiple themes like harm and existential. Like why is it back and affecting me again, I’m just tired of crying again, and having anxiety and just want to DESPERATELY go back to my college days and earlier this year when I was enjoying life and looking forward to my future. Now I’m scared and it’s hard to see anything past these obsessive thoughts.

@Nate S I understand where you are coming from, news can be a very big trigger for my anxiety in general, which worsen my OCD symptoms. The advice I can give you is to take care of yourself, don't watch or read the news (I for one started looking for Good News pages online) and it does help. Go out for short walks, whatever you can manage, try not to spend too much time with screens, drink enough water and avoid caffeine, trust the process, journal and you wilk start noticing an improvement on your mental health in general. OCD is hard to overcome, and you will get flare ups now and again, remember this and that you are not alone in this suffering. Sitting with the discomfort and allowing it to pass is a big part of the journey. Everything passes, this too shall pass and uncertainty is a part of life.

@Resilientgal77 Thank you for this words. These terrible thoughts are making it hard, I’ve been crying almost all day since Monday and my manager has started to notice and is asking what’s going on. How do I explain to her that I have these terrible intrusive thoughts that’s are ruining my life again. Someone without ocd wont understand and I don’t wanna get fired cuz then I’ll be screwed. She wants to have a meeting to discuss what’s going on and I can’t tell her the truth. I’m so lost and tired and I want to go back to my semi happy self I was before.

@Nate S Try to practice being mindful and staying in the present. And about this talk with your manager, you don't have to be completely transparent, you could just say you are struggling with your mental health at this time or with personal issues, but are working towards overcoming it. Just the fact that you still go into work shows that you are not nearly as bad as it feels, yes, the feelings are debilitating and terrifying and hard, but at this time you are still somewhat functional and you are aware that you are relaspsing, use that awareness and care for yourself. You have done it before with less knowledge than you have now, you can and will do it again.

@Resilientgal77 I wanna hug you right now. I havnt had the reassurance or helpful words said to me before. You really are giving me hope when in a time it’s hard to find it. I wish I had a friend or someone I knew that was going through this and could relate. I really really appreciate your help, I’m praying to god that all our troubles and pain go away.

@Resilientgal77 When I was a kid I didn’t have anywhere to turn to, no phone access to even know what this was called and those thoughts would cripple me. I couldn’t tell anyone because my family isn’t the most accepting and I felt so alone kinda how I do now. But thankful this app and people who can relate to me are out there that can help. Some days are better than others fs, like I said I was good for years and again in October for 2 weeks.

@Nate S It tends to get lonely, trust me, I have been there, I had friends but they had no idea what I was going through and neither did my family, I have had OCD for basically a decade, believe me when I say that time also makes things easier, but there is nothing like a combination of therapy, good habits and exercise. You will get through this :)