i shared all of my symptoms with my therapist and she has diagnosed me with HOCD. however, i keep having this doubt and keep saying to myself that i lied to her when i know in my heart i didn’t. idk what to do rn im so sad i feel like im living a lie but when this all started i knew that i had HOCD but now i’m so del in it i don’t even know what is real anymore.

I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.

just been to therapy and i was explaining my contamination ocd and says i don’t diagnose ocd but this doesn’t seem severe enough? so now im spiralling am i just lying to myself and im just a freak. does she mean my other ocds aren’t real either? i’m just honestly so upset. need advice please im just spiralling so much i take medication for ocd and basically have every symptom and subtype of ocd:(

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?