- Date posted
- 1y
I don’t know anymore
my ocd might be schizophrenia or maybe I have both idk anymore. But yk why do I need a label anyway. It is what it is. I’ll keep posting on here tho cuz yall my people and I love yall 🫶🫶🫶🫶
my ocd might be schizophrenia or maybe I have both idk anymore. But yk why do I need a label anyway. It is what it is. I’ll keep posting on here tho cuz yall my people and I love yall 🫶🫶🫶🫶
Ah OK. I had voices in my head and it was ocd, not schizophrenia. Dunno if you had the same thing
@Invalid ive had that but there was also this different type of voice. Persistent, unnerving, uncontrollable.
@Shazey k It’s hard to explain
As for the voices, what do they sound like? I'd ask what they say but I understand it can be disturbing. What's the tone, the emotion behind the voice, the theme with its messages?
@Invalid It’s basically like a bunch of constant voices both whispering/yelling intrusive thoughts to me. They drive me crazy.
@Shazey k Yep had that. Felt like hell, especially when it was time to try sleep. Somehow louder with the lights off maybe because my sense of sight was dampened. Mine felt like some serial killer in my head, or a demon. It wasn't Whats the emotions behind their voices? Anger, humour etc
@Invalid If you feel comfortable doing so, what do they say too?
@Shazey k I remember this one time very vividly. I had a grional response when I was reading a horror book and it mentioned rape. I started overthinking a lot. It didn’t stop for months. My mind would not shut off even when I was sleeping. It would just scream intrusive thoughts at me. But this one time in gym, there was this voice and it was screaming rape at me and I couldn’t stop it, it was uncontrollable. I could hear my own voice and this foreign voice at the same time but i could only control my own voice. It didn’t stop, it kept going in the back of my head and it drove me absolutely insane.
@Shazey k OK I think I understand that. The voice was telling you to rape right?
@Invalid yes
@Shazey k I had that too, along with them telling me to kill everyone etc. It's awful. Sorry you're going through this. I'm guessing it's almost a screaming match every day in your head against them as mine was. 😢 I did therapy but I feel as if they weren't qualified to deal with this. After a long time I opened up to friends and some of them had it too surprisingly, they were suffering in silence as well and had no idea. One of them had a tip. So you wanna try what he told me?
@Invalid yes please 🥹🫶
How it feels *
Let me know in a few days if anything changes
@Invalid I WILL THANK YOU SO MUCH
Why do you think its schizophrenia?
@Invalid I’ve recently realized there’s a lot of signs that I’ve ignored and passed off as ocd
I've had 3 in total in my life. Are they part of the problem you're currently dealing with?
@Invalid they’re part of the problem. The other problem is the hallucinations and delusions. And the fact that I wasn’t able to distinguish reality from fantasy for a period of time.
@Shazey k Ah OK. I'm at a loss with the visual stuff. I know 2 people with schizophrenia, I'll have a chat with them for suggestions. As for the voices, I was able to get rid of mine if you're willing to try a few things
@Invalid Thank you so much 🥹🫶
@Shazey k One of them will call me tomorrow and I'll see if they have advice and come back to you
OK so when you're I want you to imagine this voice(s) as best as you can in your head as a form, like a shadow or shape or something or anything you can possibly imagine them as, could even be a toilet, doesn't matter. Now once you have something, put it behind a closed door. Now on the other side I want you to imagine the most powerful thing you can think of, could be god, an army, 2 00 million nukes, the entire cast of dragon ball z, doesn't matter as long it's the most unstoppable force imaginable to you. Once you have this image in your head as clear as you can hold it for a few minutes, maybe 2. Now, open that door
OK so when you're free*
@Invalid I can’t begin to explain how much this means to me and how much I appreciate this. Thank you so much. 😭🫶🫶🫶🫶
@Shazey k I know it feels and how it's equally scary mentioning it someone especially those close to you because of the fear of what may happen as a consequence if you did. You're not alone
My friend said its best to double check with therapists regarding schizophrenia just to be on the safe side
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help
I’ve been struggling so much these past few weeks. I’ve been so anxious and just have had nonstop crazy,weird disgusting thoughts and idk anymore. Like I’m not diagnosed but I recently researched about it and it explained everything I’ve been experiencing like exactly. But I’m also very young so idk what’s happening I’m just so confused. I barely slept today cause the thoughts just wouldn’t stop. I have only told my dad about what’s been happening and he told me that he does want to help me and stuff and find someone that could help me but then I just feel like he dosent care, like when I talked to him about it about how I suspect I had it he just like completely changed the subject. But he did bring it up yesterday which was good i guess. And I’ve posted here before and people have been really nice and told me that just because I’m not diagnosed that doesn’t mean my experiences aren’t valid and I appreciated that a lot but I don’t know I just keep doubting everything. I’m also worried because my brother actually has OCD and ADHD and more stuff and I know how stressful it was for my parents to understand him and stuff and if I turn out to actually have OCD as well then I just feel like I’m going to be something else they have to worry about and stress about.
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