vent: birthdays suck

my real event OCD flares up by my birthday each year. i just remember the feeling of humiliation— inviting people to my birthday and no one wanting to show up, suddenly everyone has plans, i bring up wanting to do something for my birthday and they say “oh why dont you go do that then?” in a way that says : “uh, why are you even bringing this up to me” i guess ive always been strong knowing that i dont make a lot of close friends, and that’s okay. but it just hurts so bad each time this time comes around and i am reminded of how humiliating it is to think you have built a friendship only for them to brush it off no explanation. “best friends” of over a decade brushing me off on my birthday because i thought they were just busy but i was actually just left in the dark not knowing they didnt even like me. it’s just hard. i feel unwanted and stupid. i don’t like trying, and when i try, it turns out like this. i have true, close friends, and a family that loves me now. but the past just haunts me. i hate my birthday. i want to move on, but each time my birthday comes around i feel like theres something stuck in my throat, an overwhelming fear of being the laughingstock without knowing again. i hate this.

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

i'm so so sorry to hear this is something you are going though:( it sounds really tricky but you are not alone in this fight <3 there is a discord server that's designed for ocd support! i've been apart of it for about 4 months now & absolutely love the community. here's the link if you are interested in joining:) sending love & support your way! stay strong my friend! https://discord.gg/mQxyBmGwhU

Username: mapledmapled

Date posted: 1y ago

@D:) thank you for the suggestion, i’ll join once i make a discord account!

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm so sorry you went through that. Have you ever tried therapy for this? Emdr can help I believe. It lets memories and feelings that you feel with them be processed like all the other ones. Kind of like what dreams do. Files it away with all the other stuff you experience in life instead of just sitting on your desk clogging up the room you need to work (your present self).

Username: mapledmapled

Date posted: 1y ago

@Invalid i haven’t considered emdr! it seems that there are some self administer videos, i will look into that too! thanks :)

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 1y ago

@mapled I've never tried self administering it. Let me know if it does anything. If it works, it's worth sharing

Username: JessicaLan807JessicaLan807

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i really feel for you dealing with that heavy weight every birthday – birthdays should be about feeling appreciated and it's tough when past experiences cast such a long shadow. it hits home hearing how you've worked to accept not having a huge circle but then get blindsided by those you counted on. that kind of let down stings, no question. while my pure o doesn't revolve around the same obsessions, i totally get that sense of being stuck in a loop with distressing thoughts, and i'm here if you need someone just to listen 🖤. speaking of getting stuck, i've actually made something for myself that might be up your alley. it's an AI tool designed for those overwhelming ocd moments. it generates personalized erp exercises and gives guidance to help work through the obsessions and get unstuck. since you're familiar with erp, this could be a new angle for those times when it feels like too much. might be worth a shot to see if it helps you navigate through, especially around your birthday.

Username: ASTROWORLD

Date posted: 5y ago

There has been 2 birthday party’s for two people that I consider to be my some of my best friends that I haven’t been invited to. I feel like me being clingy and asking if people are mad at me and my ocd makes people not like me or hanging out with me. I just wish it would all go away and I could get invited to do stuff like a normal 14 year old.

Username: Magzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel so undeserving

My birthday is coming up in about 2 weeks and my friends are planning to celebrate with me and they told me they all got me presents and I feel so undeserving and I keep telling them no because I feel like if they knew my past they would hate me 😭

Username: Zozo94

Date posted: 2y ago

Intrusive thoughts ruining my birthday

It's my 28 birthday and my intrusions have been getting the worst of me today. I feel like I'm losing my mind and for what, another year around the globe losing my mind? Today was supposed to be a good day and I can't help but fester on my intrusive thoughts. I honestly hate life right now and it feels like I was born just to feel this pain that won't go away. I'm sorry is so depressing of a post I just need to let it out.

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vent: birthdays suck

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