- Date posted
- 1y
can someone help plz
my intrusive thoughts regarding my false memory ocd are SO bad. i genuinely can’t tell what’s real or not anymore. one in particular is sticking with me and i’m not sure why. this is what it is: earlier today at work i was taking someones order. i was already getting intrusive thoughts so i was fighting compulsions (mine are sometimes physical) and was uncomfortable. the customer was trying to redeem their app points and i was ready to scan them, but it wasnt working and they said like nvm u dont have to worry about it. this is the part that my intrusive thoughts go for. i can’t remember what i said. i think i said okay and then tried to tell them their total but they gave me the money before i could finish and i said okay again? i have no idea, i literally can’t remember. when i was counting their change my intrusive thoughts were saying that i sounded rude or said something bad and just don’t remember. the customer was super nice and everything was fine but i just keep thinking about it. did i say something offensive or bad and just don’t remember?! did they hear it and pretend not to?? i can’t tell what’s real anymore. i keep forgetting things so quickly and my intrusive thoughts twist them, then when i think about what *couldve* happened my intrusive thoughts repeat horrible things and make me think I’M the one thinking it. does anyone else go through this?? am i crazy and a horrible person?? 😭😭