Rocd or just the wrong relationship?

How do people know the difference between a relationship not feeling right cause of rocd or not feeling right because it just isn't? I've been going through such a rough time with my ocd lately and I had started to feel a little stronger when I had a few days to myself. Now I'm back with my boyfriend and all the doubts, worries and bad feelings have started up again. I don't want to feel so awful when I'm with him, it feels unfair to both of us. So so hard to let it pass and not give in to my urges to just run away.

MichaelMunton

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Good question. The best bet is talk to a therapist about it. The reason is, if it’s ROCD, there’s going to be a pattern. There may be specific topics they speak about, or things they do that are triggering it. For example, often times when my partner asks me to do something (a chore, for example), I compulsively leap into action and do it right away, no matter what I have going on. This can leave me feeling like an “employee” in the relationship, rather than a partner. But I do it to myself, for the most part. Doing ERP, I’ve learned to sit with the discomfort of “getting around to things” when I can. It’s also enabled me to talk to my partner about it so they can help too. My partner has gotten better at glaring me know if something needs to be done soon, or if it’s something that just needs to be done eventually. If it’s more general, like, you just constantly get the thought “I’m meant to be alone”, the trigger might be more general. If you’re more introverted and not getting alone time to recharge, that could also cause you to want to flee. These are just examples from my life that may or may not be relevant to your life. But I hope they help a little :)

denise42

Date posted: 1y

I relate so much to this, I currently struggle with determining if I’m in a relationship that is not right for me or if this is just ROCD. I am very early in my OCD journey, but I find that if the thought surrounding my partner is very “urgent” then I can attribute it to ROCD and not a fundamental problem within the relationship. I’m hoping to gather more data with the relationship over time to make a more calculated decision also with the help of a therapist. I hope you are able to talk with a therapist and make a good decision for you!

faye1010

Date posted: 24w

ROCD

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

rjahastings

Date posted: 23w

ROCD - anxiety

I’m having what I think is my first ROCD full episode. I’ve had doubting thoughts the entirety of my relationship. But in the last couple of days have been overwhelmed with and debilitated by anxiety and the feeling that I need to break up with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I have OCD officially but talking to therapists it seems that it is likely and I’m going to an OCD specialist next week to talk through my feelings but I feel completely helpless and hopeless at the moment and riddled with anxiety. I’m in a long distance relationship. I seem to have a waves throughout the day when I want to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him I love him etc. but the other 80% of my day is filled with anxiety and dread that I’m going to have to break up with him. I just want the anxiety to go away and to know if my thoughts are real thoughts or OCD thoughts. My biggest fear is that this isn’t an OCD episode and I do need to break up with him. I’m seeing him this weekend and I’m filled with dread about feeling disconnected and anxious and not in love.

sley_13

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.

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Rocd or just the wrong relationship?

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