Confessing

I struggle really bad lately with wanting to confess every bad thing I’ve done to my partner I already gave him a list of people I’ve slept with but now my mind wants to tell him everyone I’ve done anything with kissed, sent nudes etc. I am a 21 year old F and all these things were done in high school I was very promiscuous and broken and sought male attention but since the last 3 years we’ve been together I never felt this need but since now I’ve told him the people I’ve slept with we have been separated due to me giving details and saying things I shouldn’t have about them because my ocd said I had to or I was keeping it from him. I still fell like I’m keeping this stuff from him even though It happened 3-5 years ago like what is he knows these people what if we see them in public one day what if he works with them etc we live in a smaller town and it just scares me so much. Anyone else felt with this???,

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Yep you literally explained a very big part of my ROCD in the beginning of my relationship. I had flashing images and intrusive thoughts about things I did in the past and if I didn’t confess them to my boyfriend I would SPIRAL. But overtime you realise- is this actually helping me? The past is the past and I’m using it to hurt my current bf so what is the point? Do you feel good after confessing? No it’s very temporary and then you just think of the next thing and it’s a never ending cycle. You have to realise that you had a whole life before him. You explored you had fun you were just LIVING your life, you did absolutely nothing wrong. My advice is trust yourself a bit more, have compassion for yourself. And teach your boyfriend about OCD and how debilitating it is and that you didn’t intend to hurt him, your mind is just playing tricks on you. He should understand after you explain what your mind goes through- it is not personal to him and of course no boyfriend wants to hear about past partners but you’re just going through a very normal part of OCD where you are ruminating about your past which you still feel shame for. I say- OWN IT you had fun and then you found your prince. (I always tell my bf I kissed a few frogs before I found you - cringe I know) I hope you’re ok and I totally get it’s hard to find compassion for yourself when you feel like this- I’m the exact same. But you’ll find it in you somewhere that you are very strong and you will learn a lot about that strength in a relationship. Lots of love to you lovely xx

ocdbrain102

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Thank you so so much for the advice it’s hard and he is struggling to understand that I’m not attacking him

ocdbrain102

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I could really use a friend to talk to if you would be open I don’t know if it’s allowed to give out social medias or anything but lmk if you would be open:)

ocdsufferer101

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had this before! It’s a confession compulsion, I’ve done this many of times and been the cause of my partners hurt 🥲 The ERP method here is to lean into the anxiety and try not to confess, this happened in the past, you weren’t together so there’s no need for him to know even though you think there is :)

ocdbrain102

Date posted: 1y

@lanacocd We defiantly have a lot in common I was commenting on you’re other post trying to figure out if we could message lol!

ocdbrain102

Date posted: 1y

@lanacocd My snap is xmacyxlynnx I’ll keep it up for a little bit in hopes you’ll add me then I’ll delete it:)

Anonnnnnm

Date posted: 22w

Please help (ROCD)!

I have been battling ocd for over a year now and it likes to switch themes. Currently, it’s attacking my relationship with my girlfriend who I’ve been with since I was in high school over 10 years ago. It first began as an intense feeling that I have to leave or break up with her over dumb little things. Then it changed into a lot of guilt for having any thought about another girl. And the worse is feeling this intense guilt for past things I’ve done in the past while in this relationship. We were so young and I was teenager, but I often found myself watching porn, fantasizing about real other people in my life, and getting off to other girls that I may have known. When I was younger I didn’t think it was bad and that it was just a normal teen boy thing, but 10 years later I have so much guilt about it. And yes I’m with the same girl now. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I know I love this girl and I’m ready to propose to her soon. Anyway, these past mistakes I did when I was younger make me feel like a cheater and I can’t stop ruminating about it. I feel like I have to admit every detail and person I’ve ever had a bad thought about. I feel like if I propose to her and don’t tell her everything, that I’m a lair and didn’t give her the full picture. And the other day one of the girls I thought was hot when I was younger, came up in convo and I just went downhill. Now she knows I deal with OCD and she is very supportive, I’ve told her before that I did some bad things, but never all the details. And that’s all my brain keeps telling me to do. I have so much tightness in my chest and just want to be able to breathe again. But everyone says to not admit or it’ll reinforce the cycle, I’m just not sure how everyone else does that. And at the same time, maybe I am a cheater and just simply a bad person. Idk! I never cheated physically or anything like that, but my past mistakes feel like I did. But again I may just be a bad person! Please if anyone has advice or is dealing with similar things, I’d appreciate the help!

Relationship OCD

chickenmomma

Date posted: 22w

I struggle with confessing

This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far

Lillo2000

Date posted: 11w

Confession compulsion

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

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