- Date posted
- 1y
Harm OCD
Does anyone have thoughts about being afraid of jail and that if u acted on thoughts or a plan to kill someone about how u would get away? Or am I actually insane
Does anyone have thoughts about being afraid of jail and that if u acted on thoughts or a plan to kill someone about how u would get away? Or am I actually insane
This is common with harm ocd. You're not insane, you just have the worst mental condition someone can get.
@JamesMY I feel like since In my head I get these vivid images of me plotting a murder and how I’d get away with it to avoid jail and it drives me crazy cuz I don’t want ANY OF THIS to happen I want to be normal again before this I think I’m actually insane I was just making chicken Pattie’s and in my head I said imma eat these and kill my girlfriend and then I told myself no no no and it’s wild idk what to do
@Anonymous - You don't want it to happen, and you're obsessed with the theme, your brain knows this js a fear and so it keeps sending the thoughts so you can deal with it. There is no threat but your brain, and the brains of all ppl with OCD, can't accept it because we have to be 100 percent certain. And there is nothing 100 percent certain in life. Normal ppl get these thoughts and think nothing of them and move on. We can't because we don't want to think something so horrible. Idk if you ever watched the old show Seinfeld. In one episode Elaine has the phone company guy over and in her mind thinks she could kill the guy and no one would know. Then she snaps out of it and moves on. We can't do that.
@JamesMY Yeah I just want the thoughts to stop and I feel like because they are so terrible someone said ocd is only like fear of pencils and stuff like knives because u picture hurting people so u stay away from those items but mines are so much worse so I feel I’m not ocd
@Anonymous - But it is OCD. What is OCD? Intrusive thoughts that produce terror/extreme doubt and are managed with compulsions. The compulsions make it worse because they validate the fear and they validate what you think of yourself by having them. And of course you are going to doubt it's OCD because that's what OCD does. The fact is you're terrified of the thoughts, they disgust you. You can't let it go because you can't be certain, confident that you'd never do it. You need 100 percent certainty and it's impossible to feel certain.
@JamesMY I’ve never been officially diagnosed that’s why I’m concerned
@Anonymous - I've never been officially diagnosed either. But I've had this for 28 years and have read so much about it I could be a therapist. Everything you exhibit is classic harm ocd. And I have news for you. Even if diagnosed, you still may not believe it. This is OCD.
@JamesMY I’m just sick of telling myself I’m my head I want to hurt someone I’ll legit tell myself imma kill this b?!$ch and all types of stuff and I’m scared
@Anonymous @JamesMY is this part even normal I’m going crazy
@Anonymous - Yes it is normal. Go to a therapist
@JamesMY I’m waiting for Hopkins to review my questionnaire
I’ve always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming I’ve stopped but I have harm ocd and my brain would hook onto a true crime story and I’d pretend to be a family member/loved one/victim of a kller and would make up elaborate stories abt it. That feels so disgusting I’m so scared this shows in a horrible person doesn’t it? And now my brain is telling me I have found kllers attractive in the past I don’t think I ever did but what if I did I’m scared and I daydreamed about k*lling a man if he ever SA my niece these feel so violent they were at least MONTHS ago but I am ashamed and truly would like support.
So I have harm ocd for sure and I get triggered by some m1rder cases like for some reason my brain gets latched to them and the perpetrators my brain goes ‘what if they’d find you attractive’ ‘would you be one of their victims’ and it feels like they’re watching me, if that makes sense, like they’re watching me, is this a symptom of any type of OCD? Please no judgement I’m super scared and I hate that my brain does this
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
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