- Date posted
- 1y ago
Question
Why do I have the urge to off myself when having ocd thoughts? But I dont want to die.
Why do I have the urge to off myself when having ocd thoughts? But I dont want to die.
This is my own experience, and something you should also speak with your counselor about** For me, the best place I start is to realize that the thoughts I am experiencing are actually just that, thoughts. I then give meaning to the thoughts, which leads to feeling a certain way. I ask myself: What meaning am I giving to this thought? Is it possible to separate how I feel, from the thought I am experiencing? Can I even choose a new thought, one that feels better? We can apply this to any thought, OCD thoughts, etc... This, my friend, takes practice - be patient. It's sortve like first taking a step back - then I get better at choosing what I want to think and how I want to feel. And as with anything, practice makes better. You got this.
Totally relate. Remember though OCD attacks what you care about. You don't want to die so OCD is going to go against that saying "you should" and "you will". These kind of thoughts used to terrify me so bad, so much so I couldn't be in a room by myself without feeling like I was going to k*ll myself somehow. I've learned the best way to combat these intrusive thoughts/urges is to be sarcastic with them, "oh yeah OCD I should totally k*ll myself because I have a bad cold" if that makes sense. Or saying "maybe it's you who should off yourself, OCD not me" Just so you know I'm rooting for you and I know how hard it is! I just want to remind you OCD is just a big jerk with a broken record player in hand. And you are not alone ❤️
Also I love your username btw 😊
I genuinely feel like this is the worst my ocd has ever been. I logically have no reason I’d want to harm myself. Great family, friends, job, low expenses at the moment. Not going through a loss. Feels like all day my brain is kicking the shit out of me telling me I need to kill myself or I should. Intrusive feelings and urges galore. Also so wrapped up in it that I’m unsure if it’s ocd or my own thoughts / I want them or not. Normally I’m the guy terrified to get on a plane because I’m afraid of death so this simultaneously makes no sense but also feels so real?? It feels like this is my fate now or something Any insight welcome
This theme always hits me the worst. It causes the most anxiety and panic. And when i’m finally doing good again it all spirals back. my panic attacks are unreal again. sometimes i get so bad my Xanax won’t even stop the anxiety. These thoughts scare the living shit out of me and cause me to have terrible depression. Recently they have been back. What if this what if that, and sometimes they aren’t even what ifs, it’s more like a demand and they terrifies me. I’ve once again gave into my compulsions and put anything and everything that cause me anxiety into my kitchen so i can feel safe. This theme scares me because it makes me feel like i want to do it or i am going to do it when i don’t. These thoughts consume me. They even say “well do you wanna live like this what if it is the easier way out”. I don’t want to hurt myself and i’m truly a happy person i’m just not understanding these thoughts and why they cause me this much pain. I’m tired if the constant panic attacks and freaking out because of it. My mind goes “what if you have ideation and not OCD”when i clearly have been diagnosed with it. I just need tips and advice i don’t want to live like this forever i’m only 17.
How can I tell the difference between suicidal ocd and suicidal thoughts?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond