how to deal with such a horrible intrusive thought

I have pocd. How are you supposed to practice erp with an intrusive thought that is so disgusting and wicked? A disgusting two-words intrusive thought? It's difficult for me to just sit still and get exposed to such a horrible thought. I still can't write it because it triggers me a lot so I'll say the "acronym": it's pc but read backwards... if you get the word I'm trying to say you'll understand that that word is very disgusting, for me it's the worst word ever of all times and I can't simply deal with it, whereas with other triggering words I am able to move on. With this thought for me it is simply impossible to ignore. And moreover the day after tomorrow is my 18th birthday, a once of a lifetime event and I'm afraid that I'm going to start that day with the same intrusive thought ruining everything and having the memory of that thought forever because it is associated to such an important event. How I deal with that? How do I apply ERP to such a disgusting intrusive thought? I can't do it. How can I move forward? Somebody help me, please.

Rumpelgoocher

Date posted: 1y

You can practice exposure therapy with practically any fear, yours included. Baby steps. Put a sticky note with the acronym around your room. Or write it down on your body somewhere and walk around with it. Maybe write the acronym down a bunch of times on a piece of paper then throw it away.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 1y

I feel like I'm asking for reassurance, but did you figure out what is the acronym that I'm talking about? I have pocd and that two-word thing is something too disgusting. Is it okay to have such an intrusive thought? Even if it is not my fault, it is disgusting and horric by nature. I don't know.

Rumpelgoocher

Date posted: 1y

@Nameless000 Yes, you are seeking reassurance. And yes, the acronym is pretty obvious. But you already know that EVERYONE gets intrusive thoughts. We cannot debate if its ok to have these thoughts because they come automatically. There is no morality tied to an automatic thought that we have no control over. Our response to that thought, is what matters. Also, words have no power. Try mouthing it a few times, see what happens. I will do it with you :)

ivefailed.

Date posted: 1y

@Rumpelgoocher I guess it's a leap of faith. I'm too scared to mouth it but I understand it is the only way to get over it. I don't know if I can muster up the courage to willingly expose myself to such a inhuman thought. How can you deal with an intrusive thought that seems just too much? Like I can start by writing acronym but even that is a compulsion because I'm avoiding the actual word. I don't think I'll ever be able to write the words entirely on a piece of paper because it is misunderstandable and also horrible in its own. I don't know. It's not a normal intrusive thought that you can just write off, this is something very serious...

Rumpelgoocher

Date posted: 1y

@Nameless000 Ocd always convinces you it’s special or something serious. I have been there. I’ve also made it out on the other side. And let me tell you with love and kindness, that the only way out of a fear is through it.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 1y

@Rumpelgoocher thank you

Formerlyanon...

Date posted: 1y

If you hate a thought it will come back more and worse than previous. You are not your thoughts and you have to accept that it’s there but that doesn’t mean you have to like it.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 1y

But still you're supposed to hate it. it would be wrong to not hate it. If i don't hate it i would feel like a monster. How can I accept the presence of a thought like that? It's not a usual intrusive thought, it's too much and the worst thing possible.

Formerlyanon...

Date posted: 1y

@Nameless000 It’s not going to be easy but hopefully you’re working with a good therapist.

tayanominous

Date posted: 24w

I’m scared does anyone else have these thoughts?

TW!!!! TW! Not talking abt SOCD in talking abt those really gross intrusive thoughts about sexual things with family ,friends, animals, random people. Mine is with family specifically my mom and I am so scared and my OCD is saying I actually want these thoughts to happen irl. I’m scared and these thoughts aren’t just the average incest thoughts there are sooo messed up it crazy, a few weeks ago I gas a thought that I was pregnant with that family member I mentioned before and I know ewwwwww wtf it’s sooo bad and I’m scared ppl will judge me for it in here or my therapist I’m so scared and it keeps adding to this thought like what it would be like if that were true and it’s sounds so crazy and gross and f****d up I feel so guilty and scared and I don’t wanna do ERP cuz I’m scared worse thoughts will come and your probably think well I can’t get worse then that but unfortunately it probably could anyways I’m sorry for ranting and pls pls reply cuz I feel rlly alone cuz I feel like no one gets THESE thoughts aghhh 😖

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 23w

dealing with OCD flashbacks 18+

i currently am getting over my period and have been having a horrible flashbacks from some real events. it’s a amalgamation of all of the horrible things i did as a child/young teenager. all of it associated with p0rnography + sexual activities i did. i was exposed to sexual activity very young and it lead me down a dark path. i’ve had OCD forever it seems. it’s hard because i can see that i’ve had OCD symptoms since childhood but i constantly doubt wether or not my actions where because of OCD or something i genuinely wanted/was attracted to. i can’t seem to differentiate the two and it’s scaring me. i’m worried i was genuinely into the kind of stuff and it’s constantly flashing in my mind the last two days of things i compulsively did years ago. to be absolutely clear it has been years since i’ve even thought about those taboo things or saw anything of that sort. i’m talking 5 or 6 years give or take. it still feels like yesterday. in recent years i’ve completely pulled away from p0rn and now find it and s3x a lot less appealing. but every so often i get these intense flashbacks on things i did or saw or thought and it puts everything on hold. everything im interested in gets but on the back burner in fear of my intrusive thoughts being thrown into the mix. currently experiencing that now. im mortified of ruining everything i love because of these stupid thoughts. does anyone have any advice or experience with this specifically and have any tips???

Jessie-

Date posted: 17w

Pocd

Anyone experience intrusive thoughts of their children during intimate moments? Have you done erp to this? I had one and continued slightly before running and needing to vomit now feel guilty anyone else experienced this?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

how to deal with such a horrible intrusive thought

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community