Need help

My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that I’m in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from “what if I’m gay” to “what if I’ve always been” to “you’re bi” to “you’re gsy” to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now I’m contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just don’t wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what I’ve become at this point .Now I’m doubting every life decision I’ve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself we’re gonna get through this we’ll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i don’t want that, i don’t think i ever did, then it’s like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then I’m here like if that was the case I’d feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , I’ve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didn’t smell ofc but yeah now I’m so fucking lost.

First off it was hocd now I'm having doubts if I'm bisexual or not. I've done so much googling trying to find out what I am and so far I've been able to label that I'm Aesthetically attracted to everyone which has nothing to do with sexuality and is normal but sexually I've only been interested in women. My sexual and romantic attractions are interlocked meaning I can't have one without an other. I know I shouldn't be doing so much compulsions but there is one doubt that's glued to my head and it's making me feel like I'm attracted to feminine men (twinks, femboys) even during hocd this was the case and what caused it to begin with. I can't figure it out no matter how much I research. Sexually it would be uncomfortable and without the feminine makeup on I wouldn't be aesthetically attracted. This is all confusing to me because I always saw myself as straight and found interest in just women. I just want these doubts to go so I'm able to have a girlfriend (broke up with mine few months back) I want to be able to be doubt free and feel secure in my own identity. It's getting to the point where I feel like I need to experiment just to find an answer even though I know I would be uncomfortable the fact I'm no longer disgusted fuels this theme too:(. I really need answers I feel like I'm close but then the anxiety comes back

Okay so I've been non stop checking for a few days now and it's ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm constantly having doubts that I'm secretly bisexual and all this attention I'm bringing to it is making me depressed because I don't want to see men that way. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay but it doesn't make me happy or feel authentic neither have I ever had a crush on a man before the most I feel towards men is giving them a hug or thinking they're handsome but sexual things make me uncomfortable. The question is can checking pornography escalate things and make things worse for this theme? Or even checking in general like taking quizes, tests, asking friends or even wanting to experiment with porn to find the answer? Whenever I check porn my sens feel hypersensitivity towards them and if I feel anything below I go straight into panic mode. This theme is honestly ruining me mentally and physically and my relationship is getting more distant by the day I hate this and every time I post on here I feel so alone. I have no one to talk to and I'm afraid so any help would be more appreciated than you'd know.