Ishil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Hopeless
Honestly I’m so scared. What if my special interest (a person) isn’t as great as I think she is? I’m so scared. I want to cry
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
Hey there. The only way to get to know a person more fully is to spend time with them. Try to find out about the person's values by observing how they treat others, especially during times of conflict or disappointment. All people are mixtures of good & bad (light & dark or however else you'd like to categorize them) traits. I think a better way to frame it is... Is this person "great" for me? You get to decide. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck to you 🙂
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sharkiee1987 Trying my hardest to decide. I mean I know nobody’s perfect. I guess I just had high expectations of her. And I get so worried about every little thing she does
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ishil I understand. In my experience, people show their true selves over time/in times of hardship. Maybe you can ask this person what was the most challenging experience they ever went through & how they handled it. It might help you understand their character a bit better.
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sharkiee1987 She’s a celeb. So I can’t really. That’s why I kept waiting till she wants to write a memoir
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ishil Oh I see. Well, with celebrities it's important to remember that they are human beings, just like you & I. Everything I said about handling hardships still stands. For instance, I greatly admire Lady Gaga not only for her talent, but also for the way she handles criticism, "haters", and mishaps at her shows. I remember seeing a clip of her telling people in the crowd not to fight at one of her shows. She didn't get mean or aggressive at all... She just kindly asked them to stop because that's not what her shows are about. I just love how she carries herself & how raw and honest she can be.
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sharkiee1987 I worry about her views. Locals keep saying she’s potentially a zionist
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ishil Not lady Gaga btw. My special interest
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ishil It's possible that she is. However, I still enjoy certain celebrities works without necessarily idolizing them. For instance, I used to really like Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco. In light of all the allegations that came out about him, I no longer idolize him but I still enjoy some of his music. It's okay to separate the person from their work/talent and still have an appreciation for their creations.
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sharkiee1987 I just hope she isn’t even though she said she feels bad for Palestinians and Israelis at the same time but then other people said “you can’t be neutral in this” and that makes me think my special interest probably just doesn’t care
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ishil I mean, it is possible not to stand firmly on one side or the other. Some people are more interested in the actual truth than taking sides. As I'm coming to understand with some experience, the "truth" is usually pretty muddy at best, especially when it comes to a very complex and layered situation such as the Israel/Palestine conflict. It may be the case that your special interest simply does not know enough about the deep and nuanced history surrounding the conflict to be able to stand solidly on one side versus the other.
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Sharkiee1987 It’s possible. I hope you’re right about that
Sharkiee1987Sharkiee1987
- Date posted
- 1y
Also, I'd like to add that if you know yourself very well, it's easier to decide if someone is right for you.
PubbywomwomPubbywomwom
- Date posted
- 1y
If you are expecting this person to be the “perfect “ person. You will be disappointed. Sit with the uncertainty that you just don’t know t
IshilIshil
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@SeaKat I agree that nobody’s perfect and I should stop having high expectations. Other wise I’d be utterly disappointed
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