Was i too pushy pls help

I cant live with myself every day im riddled with guilt and shame My boyfriend and i were messing about and he was doing stuff to me and when i tried to reciprocate he said “not today” because he said “hes wearing jeans” and then he said “theres not enough space” but i was like no its fine we can go to the back and i was like “take your jeans off” then things escalated even more and i asked if he had a condom and he passed me one and we had sex BUT i felt like i was so pushy about him taking his jeans off so i messaged him in the evening and apologised incase i was and he replied with laughing faced and said “no youre fine 🤣” But i cant help thinking im a rapist and i couldn’t live with it- i would never want to hurt my boyfriend i love him so much Please someone give advice

eden2460

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with these feelings of guilt and shame. They are the worst, most destructive feelings and you don’t deserve that. It sounds like you’re looking for reassurance that we can’t give you, and reassurance in excess is something that can fuel the cycle of these obsessive thoughts. But aside from this - remember, it's important to recognize that OCD can often manifest as intrusive thoughts about harm or doing something wrong, even when there is no evidence to support these fears. From what you've described, your boyfriend did not express that he felt coerced or uncomfortable, and he even responded positively to your message. This is an important point to consider. Something I tell myself about these intrusive thoughts about harming myself or others is that I am fearing them NOT because this is who I am; I am fearing them because I do NOT want to do them. That should speak a great deal to who you are as a person. And again, while it's a natural response, seeking reassurance can reinforce OCD symptoms. Try to resist the urge to seek constant reassurance from others about these thoughts. You need to be able to reassure yourself, but for now, I’ll be the one to tell you: You are NOT a bad person. You are NOT your thoughts. Hang in there. You will absolutely make it through this. Try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’re all here for you. <3

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@eden2460 I knoww but just because this happened my brain is making it out like im the worst human and don’t deserve to live BUT i will ignore the thoughts as much as i can :) thanks for the tips

vmpstr_

Date posted: 23w

i feel like a predator

hi lately im having intrusive thoughts that tell me im a predator. im in long distance relationship with my boyfriend and we often text in more hot way if i can call it that. and lately we had an argument, not really concerning this, he just thought im demanding stuff from him in general with the way i text, tho these type of text were just jokes and it was misunderstanding (i apologised obviously and explained it to him). this topic should be done then, but my head started giving me urges to check our messages when we were sexting and it's maybe anxiety but it made me feel like my text were pressuring stuff on him like sending me a vm or just commenting on my body. i knew most stuff i texted then were with joking manner and he knew it too because he didn't showed to be uncomfortable besides when i got the feeling like im pressing on him i imadietlly apologised and reassured him that he doesn't need to do anything i ask for if he's not comfortable, i brought it up a few days ago and kinda asked for reassurance and he got surpised i think im a pred and all. he said he didn't feel manipulated, nor like i was forcing him to do anything, and that im not a predator or anything. but my head keeps telling me i am. i have constant feeling like i hurt him and acted horrible. and i don't know what to do with that feeling.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 17w

Convinced myself of something bad

Basically when I was drunk I was flirting with this guy I usual flirt with he was telling me that nothing could happen because he’s friends with my cousin, so I got really close to him and said oh resllr so you don’t want me, and I can’t remember what he said but I then kissed his like cheek or near his ear to like flirt with him and I’ve convinced myself because he said he couldn’t that basically I’ve harassed him. I left him alone after we’d finished talking but I’m so worried that me sorta going are you sure to him because he kept saying “maybe one day but right now I can’t” and saying “it’s not that I don’t want to” But I’m really scared that I’ve done something wrong. I keep picturing me kissing his cheek and him going like ugh fuck off when I don’t think that happened? I just have the worst anxiety around it right now

hi3456

Date posted: 15w

Huge tw I’m so scared I’m a r*pist people have told me I am. I wanted to lose my virginity when I was 19 I felt embarrassed and ashamed I hadn’t. I decided to get drunk and find someone in a club to lose it to. I don’t remember much other than I was happy it was finally happening and remember thinking my plan had worked. I was told by friends that the other person was drunk and possibly on drugs. I must be a r*pist as I knew what I was doing and instigated it, I took advantage and used someone. I feel sick and don’t deserve to move on I can’t even apologies as it was a complete stranger what if they’re living with trauma because of me.

Real Events OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Was i too pushy pls help

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community