Accept uncertainty and question your assumptions about worst case scenarios. Recognize all or nothing thinking and practice taking a step back. It's tough, but we can do this!
Be willing to "experiment" with your treatment, approaches to intrusive thoughts may vary for instance. Some might welcome the thoughts, some might mock them - a bit of both is possible. Expand that toolkit and see what works for you š
I have primarily health OCD, and my biggest issue is that Iām not sure Iām capable of accepting uncertainty. Iāve been in a massive spiral now for over 2.5 months. I just keep jumping from one health thing to the next and Iām absolutely driving myself crazy. Not to mention the constant feeling of absolute terror and panic I have just about every day. Itās no way to live š how does one accept uncertainty?
@emilytravelswild Have you cried telling yourself these things might happen?
@nate01 Tried*
@nate01 Yes. Iāve gone the whole āmaybe it is, maybe it isnāt trueā and also just āyep, this will probably happen!ā It heightens my anxiety and then my anxiety doesnāt lower. (Iām having a difficult time with certain aspects of ERP)
@emilytravelswild I see, anxiety eventually falls but it does take a while. When a fear comes at you and you say I might get sick or whatever your specific one is. You have to sit there and breath as you let the thoughts run through your mind. Then it gets weaker
@nate01 That just feels like absolute torture. I donāt believe my anxiety will lower and Iāll be stuck with those awful feelings forever
@emilytravelswild That comment made me smile. Yeah it sucks but the way I see it if we donāt do something now than itās either a little torture or a life of torture
@nate01 Lol. I really have a hard time with ERP, particularly when trying to trigger it on my own. Itās like my body shuts down and I canāt get the anxiety to rise. Also, I have PTSD and was told not to go full in on ERP until that is managed? So I just donāt know what to do
@emilytravelswild Yeah PTSD probably makes it a little tricker to tackle. What my ocd therapist told me was if the treatment doesnāt lower anxiety than you to expose harder. You should look into worry scripts maybe that will help the exposure really cause anxiety
@nate01 I wonder if itās my subconscious trying to protect me. Because I have SO MUCH anxiety and panic throughout the day that when Iām trying to practice exposures, itās just like no. We need a break. I do treat the rest of my triggers with ERP so I feel like Iām still practicing. I just have a hard time triggering it on purpose.
@emilytravelswild Ocd is a safety mechanism. Before I ever noticed my ocd symptoms I went through a traumatic experience and they came out. So it was almost as my brain was defending me. Yeah erp is hard and it takes a lot of experimentation to get places. But you can do it!
So this is contamination specific, but I like to think something along the lines of "well I have an immune system so that can protect me from these germs" or whatever it may be
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) ā¦ ā¦ ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
Here is what I say to people: I wish I could make it stop. I really do. I also wish I could stop tinnitus. What is tinnitus, you may ask? Well, have you ever gone to a loud concert and after it had a ringing in your ears. Or, in movies when a loud explosion hears, first it is often muffled, and then there is a very loud ringing sound. Well, I have hear that sound for over 30 years. Turns out the medications I took as a kid for allergies and all the antibiotics I was on for Strep had a side effect for some people - tinnitus - that sound that I have heard every decade, year, month, day, hour, and second, for the past 30 years. I have learned to live with it. As I type this, it is REALLY loud, because I am paying attention to it. But, in a few minutes it will fade into the background, and, while I will hear it, I will not pay much attention to it, and therefore I will go on with my night. I will listen to music, practice my story for the MOTH radio hour, and work out. I will clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher, and I will eventually get ready for bed. I will go to bed hearing that sound, and fall asleep for a few hours until tomorrow morning when I start the day all over again. I cannot make the sound stop. There is nothing to do for it - no surgery or medication. Just learning to live with it, and that is what I have done. It is the thing that I hate the most in my life, and, if granted three wishes, it would be the first thing to change. For now, as I have for 30 years, I will live with it, and I will ask you to live with your noises in your head - the thoughts, the images, and the urges, and we will practice together accepting that things are not always as we want them, but we can handle that. We got this.
I need tips on how to really accept the uncertainty the ocd causes, even if it feels so bad like I might get in trouble for something , do I wanna be okay with that?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
