pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

I don't know what to do anymore

In this camp we Will be 3 girls and 4 boys, thing is, that i don't know who ti spend more time with.. like, i don't want to be near girls because i don't want to fall in love and be gay, but at the dame time, i don't want to just spend time with the boys because i have my boyfriend, i love him and i don't want to do something that might hurt him... :( i'm worry i may be gay because i have not been feeling anxious about them thoughts and they feel as if they were mine..

AaaAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

I totally get this, I’m always here to talk if you need to x

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

with awaken into love talks a lot about this, it helped me when i was really struggling and i totally get what youre feeling, youre not alone ❤️

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

I see:( but i don't want to listen to things like "what if You fall in love with a girl then?" Because i don't want to, i want to be with my boyfriend, i don't want to act on it

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz avoiding listening and saying phrases is a compulsion, i cant make any promises because id be giving you reassurance, the best thing you can do is honestly just do it, sit with the anxiety and accept the what ifs because thats all they are. and remember YOU have a choice in your actions and who you date. you can choose your partner everyday. have you spoken to him about any of this? ❤️

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - No.. i haven't because im afraid he will believe i really am gay but I'm not and that can lead to the relationship feel uncomfortable.. also that about the decisions triggered me and i dont know why, i've always been scared about that, because what if what i feel now changes and the choices changes?, my choice is to stay with him, but im scared about "what if a really want to be with a woman" and it feels like it, but i really want to be with him, this is very confusing

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz i completely understand how you feel, have you spoken to your bf about your ocd at all?

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - About my ocd, yes, but not about this subtype, i told him when i had POCD and when it was all about liking my mom, but this subtype.. i hate this

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz if he was understand about the first two, and he gets how ocd works then there is no reason he wouldnt with this subtype, no matter how scary it may feel to you. you deserve love and kindness no matter whats going on in your head. cheating ocd is TOUGH and then coupled with so ocd is just horrendous i get what youre going through. do you keep a journal at all? i often find it helps to write my thoughts out to try and organise them

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - I used to, but it scares me.. :(

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - Thank you for keep replying, you have helped me a lot :((

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz keep with the journaling!!!! it will really help! challenge the fear and i get that it can be scary because sometimes i feel like if i admit my intrusive thoughts by writing them down then i want them or they'll come true or someone will find out etc etc but guess what? they dont!! your journal is for you and you alone! you can write whatever you want, its just for you to process how you feel and thats okay ❤️

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - its like, being scared to cheat with both sex, and also fightinh because i don't want to be with my same sex.. Thank you for understanding me

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - That what you said about the coming true, i hate that, i hate when i feel something im scared of might come true:(((

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz its okay i know EXACTLY how you feel and i know how tough it is but it will pass and you still deserve so much love, but seriously keep with the journaling, challenge the fear ❤️

ezjeans

Date posted: 1y

@mimuuzz i know how tough that is, i always feel like whenever i have a thought its like its almost certainly going to happen and theres nothing i can do about it, it really sucks

pengunaranja

Date posted: 1y

@ezjeans - YES, it ofc sucks, i hope you get better too!!:(( tysm really, i appreciate your answers and the time you spent talking with me

ntr

Date posted: 24w

Advice

Hello, im a 21ye old male. All of my life i was always atrscted to girls, even if it was only a hug by a girl i liked i got a boner. I always fantasised about doing fun stuff (not onyl sex) with my gf. Had a gf for almost two years. Two months ago i fell into severe anxiety about my sexuality changing. It happened to me 2 years ago bit then i had my gf and i did not need to worry if i will find a girl i love or will i be able to because i already had her. The toughts were realy intense but they faded and for 2 years i did not experience any doubts or fears about it. Then it happened again in december. For 2-3 weeks i was realy down...constant toughts about doing things with men i never wanted to do, fear that i liked someone, fear of denial...but them bc of getting back with my girlfriend it was okay for three weeks almosf. Then we broke up again and after a few days i had the worst days of my life. I felt like i actually changed, i did not know what to do. Then after a week I went out with a girl and when she laid on me when we wafched a show I got aroused like i always did with my ex. I felt such relief and i could handle my fears and anxiety for almost a month. Then a week ago the fear returned and i am again in a very bad spot, i dont know what else to do, i have no girl that i love, i am afraid i will never be able to experience those same feelings and moment that i had with my ex and then again the toughts of being in denial came back. I dont know what to do. My psychiatrist said i dont have ocd but onyl simptoms and that my anxiety is the proboem. Any one experienced something similar? Thanks

Sexual Orientation OCD

rugirl48!

Date posted: 23w

Really bad night.

I was doing very well with all my thoughts but then they started to get really bad this week. I am very sure I am straight and only want to be with a man but I have such good relationships with my girl friends and my mind plays tricks on me and likes to make me think it’s more than just a friendship. And this voice in my head tells me it’s not disgusting when in reality I would never do anything physical with them at all.But they get so intense I start to believe it. I just am not sure how to get out of this cycle. Every time I get better I think about getting in a relationship with a man and i freak out (what if i don’t like it? does that mean ill have to be gay) and all these thoughts blow up in my face and so can’t take it anymore. My bestie is coming to visit me and the thoughts get so intense when she is around and i really want to be in a good head space to spend time with her because i know deep down she’s my best friend and nothing more. Any suggestion to help?

misereri

Date posted: 22w

Hi, please reply to me

I frequently feel the need to test myself with sexual scenarios with a guy jn my class, im jn a relationship and i keep testing if I find him hot attractive or whatever and i have many crisis about it likw i pray to god to not make me attracted to X person, sometimes I avoid going to school i avoid looking at him I skip periods and truly yall idk what to do anymore. Can someone give me suggestions? I'm scared I don't wanna be attracted to anyone else besides my boyfriend i don't wanna cheat on him I don't wanna do anything I just wanna live a quiet happy life with him . I'm worried I know the truth and just don't wanna accept it jm super worried I need suggestions pls

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I don't know what to do anymore

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