Has anybody on here ever experienced a loss of sex drive that has caused intrusive thoughts around their relationship or sexuality? I have absolutely no libido and it’s causing me a ton of distress.
anxiety can cause you to lose your sex drive. enjoying sex has a lot to do with feeling a sense of comfort. if you’re constantly in a state of fear you’re not really in the moment therefore how are you gonna enjoy it. doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. sex drive comes and goes for everyone
I will say that this theme has hit my sex drive pretty hard. The anxiety lowers it the most for me. It adds fuel to the compulsions, that's for sure.
@ZTValen I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this too. Have you tried anything to overcome this?
@al-pal For me, I've just been working on my exposures, as plain of an answer as that is. It's cut and dry, but it works. My wife understands that my OCD is troublesome, so she's patient with me. Outside of that, I've been keeping busy with work and my hobbies.
Me, which has led me to avoid possible encounters, even though I want them, but the possibility of failing due to low libido hits me hard.
@Carlos A I tend to avoid them as well, but it’s really hard being engaged. I want to be close to my fiancé but I have no interest in sex. And I can’t tell if my OCD is causing this low sex drive, or if my low sex drive is contributing to the intrusive thoughts.
@al-pal In my case I think that both scenarios that you propose happen to me, before all the obsession I did not fail, now after many years of rumination and fear and anxiety I am focusing a lot on every sensation and reaction, I am not relaxed and that feeds the obsession because it tells you that if I don't have a libido or I can't perform it means that my fear is real, which leads me to compulsions and being more anxious about intimacy, even though deep down I want to be there.
@Carlos A What have you tried to overcome this?
@al-pal I really haven't been able to do much, I constantly test myself and ruminate all day, I am mentally preparing myself to cut all connection with the compulsions, this is difficult because a failure in bed already happened to me and I was down for months, I could even say I have a trauma because of it, I'm just looking for a way to try again but at my own pace, without pressure, and reconnect with that confidence that I had before all this, but I think the main thing is to cut off the compulsions and expose myself to triggers, and then try, although my biggest fear is not connecting with women again, I hope it comes back in the future, I don't lose hope, it is there but quite weak
What is libido or lose of sex drive
@JohnKit Not wanting to have sex/no desire of anything sexual
Have you found anything that helps?
What’s everyone’s experience with loss of attraction to their preferred gender? (Not looking for reassurance, and I know people say stop trying to get it back) When I see a good looking woman, I feel sad that I can’t get feelings like I use too. Like the very bottom of my stomach feels heavy like it’s depressed… I know I want to be attracted to woman but this SOOCD and false attraction is destroying me.
Anyone experiencing loss of attraction to opposite sex (what you had before any of this)…? I get the feeling that I like what I see in the opposite sex but then hit with what feels like depression or numb with makes me feel sad.
Ive been with my partner for 2 years. I haven’t had sex with my partner in a pretty long time. I feel like it’s been so long now that the idea of having sex is really causing me anxiety. I also don’t want to kiss or makeout as much. When he brings up sex or making out more or anything intimate it gives me anxiety. I feel like I truly don’t want to do those things, and that scares me. When we started dating I don’t think that this gave me anxiety, I think I was excited about it. But now it’s something that I find I’m almost avoiding. I want to be excited to kiss him and be with him but I’m just not, and I’m worried that that means the relationship is over. I know that the honeymoon phase isn’t forever but is this really what a relationship is supposed to feel like? This has gone on for so long now that I’m almost scared enough to admit to him how I feel rocd wise. I wanted to add that I’ve been on antidepressants nearly my entire life and i definitely have low libido anyway, so not being intimate doesn’t really bother me. Sometimes I can’t figure out if that’s the case or if it’s just because I don’t find my partner attractive anymore. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force myself to be intimate but I think he’ll catch on that something’s wrong if I keep telling him no. If anyone has any advice, or relates at all, id really appreciate it, thank you.
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