No ‘what ifs’ anymore- just direct statements sometimes ‘you don’t love him’ sometimes ‘I don’t want to be with him’. I can’t see any hope of feeling better- I don’t even know if this is OCD. This isn’t how love is supposed to feel- how do I know if my partner just isn’t the one? I did have really intense anxiety but could still feel that love and desire to be with my SO but now- it seems to be fading away. No more anxiety, intrusive thoughts feel a bit muddled up rather than loud, aggressive, specific thoughts. Help :(

Take it from someone who has broken up with someone bc of rOCD, it doesn’t make you feel any better. If you want to be with the person, be with the person. I know how it feels to think breaking up with them is your way out but it’s not. Your way out is actually through. Going through the relationship and growing from it and accepting that sometimes you have these feelings. For me even the thought of my relationship naturally ending scares me. There have been days where I’ve thought about it so much that I wanted to break up with him just so that he couldn’t break up with me, lol. I just realized that I was trying to over protect myself in a way. I was trying to prevent something bad from happening, but I didn’t stop to think that maybe I would’ve prevented something good from happening. Hang in there :)

Does the thought of not being with the person scare you? Do you not want to be with this person? Usually you know the answer and the rOCD flips it. For example, if you were to answer “yes, I want to be with the person” your rOCD would say “no you don’t, you’re lying”. The thing is, as triggering as it may be, you don’t know if your partner is the one. There is no feeling or answer as to if you are going to be with that person. I had to learn that. As cliche and unhelpful as this statement may sound, love is a choice. It’s choosing the person even when you don’t feel like you want them. It’s choosing them on good days and bad days. :) Hang in there!!

Sometimes rOCD can make you feel numb as well. When you spend all your energy on ruminating, it can wear you out, which might be why you feel that way. Hope this helps a little.

I’m going through the exact same thing and it’s exhaustingggggggg

The thought of not being with my partner doesn’t scare me- it makes me sad but I know I’d be ok (but also part of me thinks I’d feel relief as I wouldn’t feel like this) but I do want to be with him. If the relationship naturally ends that is fine but my anxiety/rOCD can’t end it for me if that makes sense. Thank you your comments ?

I’ve had it in past relationships, never realising what it was but I could justify ending the relationship until this one. It’s sad that something I want so much, and want to be happy in, is making me feel so miserable. 3 months ago if you’d asked me about the relationship ending, I’d have been devastated by the thought but these feelings and thoughts have made me so numb to it, like I don’t really care. I have had massive issues in past relationships but it’s quite a weird way to try and protect myself from being hurt by almost hurting myself? Is weird. But thank you for your comments!