- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Take it from someone who has broken up with someone bc of rOCD, it doesn’t make you feel any better. If you want to be with the person, be with the person. I know how it feels to think breaking up with them is your way out but it’s not. Your way out is actually through. Going through the relationship and growing from it and accepting that sometimes you have these feelings. For me even the thought of my relationship naturally ending scares me. There have been days where I’ve thought about it so much that I wanted to break up with him just so that he couldn’t break up with me, lol. I just realized that I was trying to over protect myself in a way. I was trying to prevent something bad from happening, but I didn’t stop to think that maybe I would’ve prevented something good from happening. Hang in there :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Does the thought of not being with the person scare you? Do you not want to be with this person? Usually you know the answer and the rOCD flips it. For example, if you were to answer “yes, I want to be with the person” your rOCD would say “no you don’t, you’re lying”. The thing is, as triggering as it may be, you don’t know if your partner is the one. There is no feeling or answer as to if you are going to be with that person. I had to learn that. As cliche and unhelpful as this statement may sound, love is a choice. It’s choosing the person even when you don’t feel like you want them. It’s choosing them on good days and bad days. :) Hang in there!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Sometimes rOCD can make you feel numb as well. When you spend all your energy on ruminating, it can wear you out, which might be why you feel that way. Hope this helps a little.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m going through the exact same thing and it’s exhaustingggggggg
- Date posted
- 5y
The thought of not being with my partner doesn’t scare me- it makes me sad but I know I’d be ok (but also part of me thinks I’d feel relief as I wouldn’t feel like this) but I do want to be with him. If the relationship naturally ends that is fine but my anxiety/rOCD can’t end it for me if that makes sense. Thank you your comments ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve had it in past relationships, never realising what it was but I could justify ending the relationship until this one. It’s sad that something I want so much, and want to be happy in, is making me feel so miserable. 3 months ago if you’d asked me about the relationship ending, I’d have been devastated by the thought but these feelings and thoughts have made me so numb to it, like I don’t really care. I have had massive issues in past relationships but it’s quite a weird way to try and protect myself from being hurt by almost hurting myself? Is weird. But thank you for your comments!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m in such a dark place right now. No matter what I do with my boyfriend — kissing, hugging, cuddling, talking — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And every time, my brain says: “That’s it. It’s the truth. You don’t love him anymore.” I keep thinking I’m forcing myself to act like I still like him just because I can’t accept the truth — that maybe I fell out of love and don’t want to admit it. When he calls me beautiful, when he’s kind to me, when he holds me… I feel numb. And that numbness makes me feel like a stranger in my own life. Like I’m faking everything. Like I’m lying to him and to myself. It feels too real. I used to have moments — even during intrusive thoughts — where I would relax in his arms and feel safe and reminded that this is ROCD. But now… even those moments feel gone. Like the thoughts aren’t lies anymore — they feel like the truth. And I don’t know what to do with that. My therapist made things worse. She told me things that made me believe I’ve mentally “decided” I have to be with him, and that I’m wrong for thinking it’s bad to walk away. Now I feel like I’ve built my entire relationship on an idea that I should stay, not that I want to. I feel like I’ve changed. I remember moments of deep love, warmth, and closeness… but now I can’t feel them anymore. And all I hear in my head is “you’re different now. It’s over.” I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not even crying anymore — I’m just… empty. What if this is the truth I’ve been avoiding all along? What if I just can’t accept that I stopped loving him? What if this relationship is no longer right, and I’m just pretending? This is the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt this far gone before.
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