I am getting my Ph.D., and am wondering if I should tell my dissertation chair about my OCD?? He probably thinks I’m just annoyingly anxious but I feel like he should know, given he’s my chair and we will work together for the next three years (have already for a year). Yeah?
When I was in college I was able to get accommodations, if there’s a Disabled Students Program in campus I recommend to reach out to them.
I also got my PhD recently and I feel like I qualify to answer. Short answer: BAD idea Let me explain. You don’t know how you telling them will affect your relationship. Even though you feel like you know them, you actually don’t. They’re NOT your friends. They’re more like a supervisor in a job. Their goal is to help you succeed, and if any health issues (mental or otherwise) get in the way, they may be concerned with your progress. I even had a potential PhD advisor reject advising me for physical health issues like being overweight. That’s an extreme case, but it happens. Also, there are no accommodations for defense time as far as I know. It is a harsh and brutal path to get through a PhD. It will test you in more than just your technical or research skills. That’s why you need to be at your best! Resist the compulsion to tell them and you’ll save yourself needless attention or concerns. I’m of the opinion that mental health issues need to be kept under wraps. There is still so much stigma associated with it and you just can’t predict how others will react.
@NevadaCowboy Also, on another note, your advisor may even have OCD and be either undiagnosed or worse, unwilling to get therapy because OCD helps them with some aspect of their research, like perfectionism or finding that needle in a haystack. I mean doing their research in exclusion of other things, like self care or forming relationships with others.
@NevadaCowboy Okay, you’re right. What’s your PhD? Mine’s literature. And you’re right. I won’t tell him. He’s witnessed many a spiral, but I’ll let him just think I am a ‘perfectionist’ in the non-OCD meaning of the word, since that tends to be my one of two themes. But thank you so much for your thoughtful answer. And it did feel compulsive to want to tell him. I’m sure he knows. I don’t think he has OCD—I’ll just say that. His work life balance is horrid but he went to grad school in the 90s?
@KittyF Nice! Mine is in mathematics. Yes, the reason is that you want to establish healthy boundaries with the people you work. Saying you have OCD is not inherently bad, but if fallen into the wrong ears, it can backfire on you. Truth is, the world is a messed up place. Your perceived vulnerability can be used as a weapon against you. Once you finish your PhD and you want to be friends with him, then that’s completely ok too. But you need to get your work done before that. I’m curious, what kind of work does a PhD in literature entail?
@NevadaCowboy You’re precisely right. I tend to be the least vulnerable person I know and then I fall into the trap of feeling guilty. It’s fun. 🙃 and my goal after the PhD, and for most, is to get tenure track and to research/teach. I’m firmly in the camp of the former. Teaching isn’t my favourite; but I love the research (and would really like tenure). When did you defend?
@KittyF That’s a great goal! I hope that you’re able to get that tenure-track position and do what you love to do. I defended last December 2022 and I’ve been working as a lecturer here in the great(?) state of Texas. I find teaching rewarding, but is often a headache because you do get lots of entitled students demanding an A. I’m also still trying to work with my PhD advisor to get more stuff published, As my relationship with him, it’s honestly a professional working relationship. I never really asked him for any advice outside academia, as he already has a very OCPD personality. Not quite OCD, but it’s a reminder of what I can get like if I don’t get therapy.
@NevadaCowboy Wait what the HELL—I’m in Texas. Okay, small world. And congrats on the recent defense! And ahh, okok re: your advisor’s personality.
@KittyF Lol 😂😂 yeah that’s hilarious. Thanks! I could just change my name to TXCowboy. But I like NV more (sorry TX). I like going there to hike in Lake Tahoe. More mountains than I’d get here in my area.
@NevadaCowboy Where did you do your PhD?
@KittyF I did mine at UT Dallas and I’m now working at SMU. 🤣😂
@NevadaCowboy Are you adjuncting?
@KittyF On paper, yes. I’m actually teaching a full load for the moment so it feels more like full time (with proper compensation). I also have another private tutoring job on the side. It’s honestly not as bad as others may paint it. I was skeptical about it but it turns out that full time lecturing positions actually want post-PhD teaching experience. Kind of like tenure-track research positions want post-PhD research. So I’m getting my experience here while I build up my CV. And maybe publish a thing or two with prior collaborators.
hey, that sounds like a tough spot to be in, juggling your ph.d. work with ocd must be super challenging. 💪 it's really brave of you to even consider opening up about your struggles, and it shows a lot of self-awareness. i've been there too, and what really helped was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my ocd therapist recommended. it'll be especially helpful for you because it provides personalized, step-by-step support that can fit around your busy academic schedule, almost like having an ocd therapist in your pocket. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3
If you feel it would put your mind at ease and leave you in less mind spirals, then it’s worthwhile letting him know. That way he can hopefully find ways to accommodate and support you
@Anonymous Yeah? I worry he already knows? Maybe? You’re right
Songs like confessing from what you said, which is a compulsion. So, I’d say no.
@Nica ah shit
Advice appreciated! I’ve been struggling with what likely is ocd for the past year, with a sexual orientation theme. It recently got kinda bad again so I’m thinking of telling my therapist. Since before ocd hit me, I’ve known I’m bi and I feel like if I were to tell my therapist about HOCD then I should also tell them I’m bi, but idk if I feel comfortable telling them yet. So I don’t know what to do! Should I suck it up and keep managing it myself, should I come out to them or should I not tell them about my sexual orientation and just ask about the OCD?
I'm currently struggling if I should tell her (she knows that I have mental health issues but nothing exactly). On the one hand I think she's really supportive and understanding, on the other hand I'm not sure if it would just be a compulsions (confessing - which I used to do a lot) and I don't want that she feels insecure.
I don’t think I will for a while because I just started dating someone but how do you tell your partner about your ocd? And how did they react?
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