Username: maryel04

Date posted: 1y ago

Obsessing over reality

I have been going through a really hard time lately in regard to my existential ocd. Not only that but my health anxiety has been horrible. What I wanted to bring up to see if a conversation could be had was my derealization. I have been having severe random bouts of derealization that are genuinely starting to feel debilitating. The best way I can describe it is I get sick to my stomach when I think about life, being alive, I convince myself im in a dream, that im stuck in a time loop and nothing around me is real and that ive been making up my entire life. With this also comes the intense feeling that everything has already happened before, its like deja vu but almost worse. I will be in moments lately and every single thing feels like it already happened, then that spirals into me believing nothing is real and im stuck in some kind of dream. Everything feels familiar, everything had already happened, sometimes stuff feels so familiar it genuinely will make me start to throw up because im so scared. Can someone please have a discussion with me and just let me know if theyve felt this way, what I should do, and if itll ever get better? Im genuinely convinced life will feel this way forever and im never going to be okay with being alive again and it genuinely makes me feel insane and so terrified. Thank you.

Username: bethanyxx bethanyxx

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve experienced this before , where I’ve felt like I’m here but I’m not actually there it’s scary but you have to pull through . When it happens we over analyse it , then it becomes worse , you need to sit with the moment and look at your surroundings . Somethings that helped me to know that I’m here , is il give myself a little pinch on the arm , and it’s instant relief it doesn’t work for everyone but it’s very normal . It does get better

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

i think that this could definitely be your ocd. i think that it doesn’t matter if your ocd belongs to a specific “category” that has already been named because ocd is so random and it goes after the things you love so it really could affect just about anything. i am not sure why everything feels so familiar sometimes but my guess is that your ocd is just convincing you of that. i am not a doctor or a professional in any sort of way just trying to maybe help and give you some clarity. i dont think you are crazy and i think our minds can mess with us in crazy ways sometimes.

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

i have also experienced derealization. something that helps me is eating something super sour or spicy. idk why it helps me get back into the moment. another thing is naming 3 things you can see, feel, and smell. i think it can help you feel more grounded. but i’ve definitely experienced that before you aren’t alone

Username: maryel04maryel04

Date posted: 1y ago

@karliee Thank you for letting me know i am not alone. The derealization has been the scariest part for me, every moment im in it feels like its already happened and im just living in a dream thats been going forever, im really scared.

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

@maryel04 oh you are definitely not alone girl. ocd is so tough and derealization is SCARY especially when your in public with people who may not understand what you are going through.

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

i have a question. do you have a fear of reincarnation maybe? because i do too i hate the thought that one day i will be someone else it gives me the chills every time I think about it, but I am asking because maybe this fear is why you are overthinking that you have been here before, and overthinking and attending to every single detail. I’m not sure if this is the case but if it is then it would completely make sense whyyour OCD is telling you and making you believe that you have been in this moment before

Username: maryel04maryel04

Date posted: 1y ago

@karliee I honestly never think about like the reincarnation part but more so like if religious high power is real and we are here eternally and life never ends, that genuinely scared the hell out of me because i cant wrap my head around it. I feel like what i cant wrap my head around scares me so bad and reincarnation i think may be what im describing and ive just never thought of it that way. I think it could be that, i also have major health ocd where im always researching symptoms and i saw one thing about deja vu and ever since i feel like im stuck in it everyday. I feel sick when I think about that stuff too.

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

@maryel04 well if it makes you feel any better i think this is without a doubt your ocd. and what we know about ocd is that it really is not real no matter how real it feels. sometimes that will happen to me too where ill see something once and be like oh crap this is def going to become a daily thing.. and i think i can recognize now that that is my ocd clinging onto things although it still is hard. it sounds like you do think about a higher power and it freaks you out which is totally understandable. that’s sort of the same thing we have to think remember when it comes to ocd is that nothing is certain. and i guess we are supposed to be able to live with the uncertainty 🙂 i have such a hard time doing this too. and when you say that you feel sick sometimes when you think about that stuff maybe that is also triggering your health anxiety, which is indicating that these two things are related and it is definitely your OCD. 🩷

Username: maryel04maryel04

Date posted: 1y ago

@karliee Thank you so much for talking to me and helping me and having a conversation with me as well. This meant a lot 🩷

Username: karlieekarliee

Date posted: 1y ago

@maryel04 you’re so welcome. thank you for helping me know i am not alone in all this ocd junk. 😭🩷

Username: jag92jag92

Date posted: 1y ago

I get derealization too it’s really scary! It’s so hard to concentrate and things feel in a weird blur I think it’s a symptom of anxiety which isn’t helpful as then you get more anxious which makes the derealization worse! I’ve heard doing things like puzzles and sudokus help as it makes you concentrate on something

Username: maryel04maryel04

Date posted: 1y ago

@jag92 Thank you for the recommendation i could definitely try that!

Username: Confused on how to help Confused on ...

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m not a doctor or psychiatrist. From what I know, and I probably don’t know crap, Deja Vu is not in the OCD category. It is mentioned in temporal lobe epilepsy. All of the other stuff? Could be any number of things and may even be none psychiatric. Best thing for you to do is get yourself to a doctor. Get evaluated physically and mentally. I’ve seen firsthand what you are describing. Yes it has gotten a lot better but with treatment. At this point it could be anything. I will caution you that if you are self medicating with pot or something else, stop immediately. If it’s really bad, have someone take you to the emergency department at hospital.

Username: Jjjjj77Jjjjj77

Date posted: 1y ago

I have experienced derealization and although I didn’t realize it at the time, it was definitely all part of my OCD. Just like anything else, you can’t give too much attention to these thoughts. I found that the more I engaged with life and redirected myself from these thoughts, the more silly they seemed. And hey, in reality, no one really knows what’s going on here if we’re in a simulation or what so we might as well just vibe out and make the best of it

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey, i'm really sorry you're going through this rough patch with your existential ocd and health anxiety. the way you're describing your derealization sounds incredibly tough, and it's clear you're carrying a heavy load right now. 🖤 i've been down a similar road with my ocd, and what really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my ocd therapist gave me. it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized step-by-step support when your ocd flares up, just like an ocd therapist would, helping you navigate these exact feelings of derealization and familiarity. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: username255

Date posted: 2y ago

About existential and dpdr

Has anyone actually overcome existential OCD? This theme has seriously not only caused dpdr but its just scary. Like i constantly feel like im living ina dream and nothing is real. Its definitely alot worse at night as it used to be all day. But its so draining makes me not wanna even live if im gonna deal with this forever. Also makes me scared ill get pyschosis or something too. UGH

Existential OCD

Username: 12345678910

Date posted: 1y ago

depersonalization and fear of going crazy

hi! I really need someone to help out right now. I would appreciate it so much. Thanks:) I know this is kind of long, but please help me out and read it. please help confirm for me that the symptoms im experiencing are just extreme existential OCD, depersonalization, and anxiety. it would make me feel a lot better. 7-8 months ago a traumatic event led me to experience severe depersonalization. ive had OCD for as long as i can remember basically, but it’s become a lot worse from this. i am a very big overthinker, so i tend to over analyze a lot of the things going on around me, my perception of everything, my thoughts, etc. it’s gotten so bad because of the depersonalization that i at times really can’t function anymore. one day, all i’ll be able to think about is the irrational fear that i somehow am going to die and there’s something terribly wrong with my brain, like cancer or something. then the next, i’ll be freaking out, worrying that im gonna go crazy. like this is some kind of early onset schizophrenia. i start doing research and i start obsessing over each and every thought i have, everything i see, etc. then i’ll be paranoid about my family, worrying that none of them are real and they’re imposters or something. i know it’s irrational. i recognize that and don’t genuinely believe it. but the fact that this thought worries me concerns me even more because it leads me to believe im going crazy. i am having existential crises regularly. like, all the time. it’s actually ridiculous. i’ll be reading a book and i start contemplating the English language and how it came to be, and then language altogether, and then how humans were able to create and understand language, and then how they were able to sound it out, how sound exists altogether, and so on. lol. like what the hell? a few days ago i was looking out of my bedroom window, and all the sudden had the intrusive thought come into my head, “what if this is just a simulation and what you see outside of your window is merely a two dimensional image?” and then i almost had a full on panic attack. anyways, those are some examples. i’m so worried. i feel like i have no control over what freaks me out anymore. i feel like i have no control of my brain altogether. i don’t want to go crazy. i don’t want to feel like im stuck in a dream anymore. im so scared. somebody please help me. i live my life in fear, worrying about everything i perceive. im exhausted. i can’t tell anyone because i don’t want them to worry, or think that im going crazy. that’ll only reinforce my fears.

Username: enoughocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Existential ocd/depersonalisation

If anyone on this forum is experiencing what I’m experiencing please share your thoughts & experiences with me 🙏. I believe that I have gone insane with the awaful existential thoughts I’m having… I feel like I’m constantly looking for myself , questioning where I am , am I real? Is the world real? Am in a purgatory? What is I’m dead and I don’t know? I’ve become so unsure of myself and of everything around me , I’m constantly doubting reality , I feel so disconnected and feel as though my brain is falling a part and only little parts of it are functioning … I feel trapped inside my own head it’s like own head it’s like I want to escape out my head but I can’t and that triggers severe anxiety. What if I have already hurt someone & I wasn’t aware ?I have forgotten what it’s like to think and live like a normal person ! In fact my brain is now wired to think and live with my awful thoughts 🥲. I can’t cry or react to any happiness or sadness , I often worry that if something happens to someone I love , I won’t be able to show emotion … taking Lexapro but it’s not helping it helps with the depression but not with the intrusive or anxious thoughts. Another reason why I think I’m going mad is for example I’ll be driving on the highway then a truck drives past me, immediately I picture that I had a car accident and I’m not sure if I’m dead or a live because I’m so depersonalised that I don’t know if I’m still here . The hatred at part is trying to explain to a therapist what and how I’m feeling hence I’m reaching out to anyone on this forum who can relate and share their thoughts with me please 🙏

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Obsessing over reality

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community