I feel not interested in my partner. I look back on good memories and they turn to cringe. I keep cringing and I don’t understand why. He’s so sweet and perfect for me just I just keep getting the ick. Please help
I would try to not physically react when you get the icky feeling, if you notice yourself doing that. I sometimes contort my face when I remember my themes, but when I remind myself that they’re just thoughts, and try to keep or return to a neutral face, it tends to make the disgust less intense.
So sorry you’re getting through this. I can relate, definitely. Have you been to therapy? Have you ever talked to someone about it?
@brenoaugusto I have been to therapy and it helps. I just hate this uncomfortable feeling. I just want to scream bc I freak out that I feel this way
Me too! It’s terrible, i’ve worked so hard to elaborate the proper tools to manage getting through crisis, but it’s been definitely hard these past days. It seems like it’s such a tricky disorder ‘cause it sticks to whatever feels most important to us at the present moment, and it finds its way to taking it from us, targeting whatever’s sustaining some quality of life to us.
This definitely hits home for me. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and married for 10 and this happened to me and it just destroys me. It’s the worst.
@ctmont Can you describe what happens to you possibly?
@Anxiety girl Certain things will trigger the thinking of “he’s not right for you. You’re wasting your life. You’ve wasted years of your life.” Something as stupid as him saying “I wish we flirted like that couple.” Can send me spiraling out of my mind. It comes from the fact that I’m not a super touchy/affectionate person and then it leaves me questioning “well you must not love him. You must not be attracted to him.”
@ctmont Wow. This was absolutely so helpful. Thank you so much. This was honestly was a Christmas miracle. I just feel so out of touch with him. I feel like everything is cringe. everything he says I’m like ew. But I was seriously never like that so I just know it’s my anxiety talking and my OCD. I always say I wouldn’t be freaking out if I didn’t want this to happen
Me too!! It sucks but what helps me talk through my thoughts with my partner or a friend!
@Rain If you don’t mind me asking, can you give examples of your thoughts?
@Anxiety girl Mine are like me thinking he isn’t the one or that I find him unattractive or that I don’t actually like him because we don’t have the same spark like in the beginning. Another thing is like past memories or songs that we used to call “ours” I get the ick from them. In reality these are all normal and healthy things in a long term relationship.
@Rain I think about like cuddling, which is like my favorite thing ever and I just get the ick from it. It’s so sad because it’s my favorite thing in the whole world. But now it feels like it’s just cringe. Like is this actually how I feel or is it my OCD
@Anxiety girl Well for me my boyfriend is my best thing in the world and sometimes I get the ick from him. What helps me is I think if the world without him and then I get really really really sad so it kinda helps me understand my true intention also the fact that I get anxious when I have these thoughts also shows me. Does that help?
@Rain Yes! You are like a Christmas miracle!!!! This makes so much sense. I always say I wouldn’t be having these thoughts if I didn’t want them and they are just my anxiety talking
@Anxiety girl Yeppers!! Merry Christmas I’m happy I could help!!
anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!
Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
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