Does anyone who has pocd struggle or has struggled with suicidal thoughts everyday just feels like a constant endless suffocating loop that will never end I can’t be around my baby I can’t get rid of groinal responses I can’t get rid of these thoughts I can’t abandon my child but it feels like that’s the only solution I don’t want to die but it feels like nothing is getting better.
You're not alone in your struggles, even though we're all different, we're all the same in many ways. So you're not alone, and there is hope. It's a big step when we admit we need help. Please reach out to a trained OCD specialist if you haven't already. And remember we're all here for you
@Someone99 Thank you so much
@Feeling sad like I should You can overcome this, OCD is a big bully with no real strength. We give it it's strength.
Please get on Clomipramine if you can. I struggle with POCD but taking high dose Clomipramine helps as well the fact I take SSRI's, perphenazine and a host of supplements. You probably need to repair your gut and then repair your mind/brain/Myelin Sheath. For the Gut, probiotics are a good start and repairing the gut can help in Serotonin production. Yogurt, Kefir, Cottage Cheese, Sour Cream, Buttermilk basically anything on the GAPS diet will help heal the gut, broth, fermented foods like Sauerkraut, Kim-Chi, Kombucha, Wasabi can really help heal the lining of the gut. Also heal your brain/repair the Myelin sheath and lower inflammation in the brain with Turmeric Powder w/Black Pepper/piperine and a supplement of turmeric (Nature's Way is a good brand)..take Borage Oil for Inflammatio, Fish Oil/Omega 3's, even Flax Seed Oil can help a little bit. If you are vegetarian I would stop that and start supplementing B-12 with HydroxoCobalmin,
my dear "feeling sad" you shouldn't feel sad you should seek help your baby needs you and your family too please seek help you are not a monster you won't do anything to your baby
@steleven Thank you so much I’m trying to get help but I’m so afraid I’ll be diagnosed with something that could get my baby taken and I couldn’t live without my child it’s hard to get help 😕
methlcobalmin, even Cyanocobalmin unless you have Methylation issues. You night need to check if you have MTHFR (Methyl-tetra-hydra-folate- reductase and look up www.mthfr.com basically Methyl-Folate, P5P/Vitamin B-6, and Vitamin B-12 (in all forms except maybe Cyanocobalmin until your Methylation is under control)...P5P is the more absorbable form of B-6, you need to get your Cholesterol over 170 as the Myelin Sheath cannot repair itself with Cholesterol under 170, repairing the Myelin Sheath will help get your Serotonin working better in your brain as it will travel down the axons better and past the synaptic cleft, you don't really need to know that you just need to know you need to build it up with Co-enzyme B-12 Complex, Choline/Lecithin, Spirulina (which is another form of B-12)
Powdered Spirulina is good unless you can't handle the taste. Magnesium, Phosphaditylserine can help a lot. Most OCD Sufferers are low in B-12 and really need toget their vitamin b-12 up, especially vegetarians. Hang in there! There is hope, my ocd is 90-95% better!...I will tell some other supplements but I need to get some sleep.
If my post sounds confusing (sorry, I am sleep deprivation right now) PM me I will re-explain everything slower. I am sleep deprived at the moment and need to get a few hours of sleep. The biggest thing to start with is to repair your gut so that you can absorb food better and getting the Serotonin produced in the gut. Then you might need SSRI's like Zoloft/Sertraline or Prozac/Fluoxetine and you definitely need Clomipramine and probably a high dose. Clomipramine has been a life saver for me. You probably need a high dose. Start supplementing b-12 and methyl-folate for Methylation purpose as this also helps produce Serotonin. Please believe/pray to God to help you and just please hang in there. You are going to need trial and error oh yeah I would take Black Seed Oil/Nigella Sativa on a daily basis too. God Bless......I will reply later in the day I am very tired but I suffered from POCD, Pet OCD, HOCD, Pure O, scrupulocity, maybe even Religious OCD. I am 90-95% better and I am so thankful for this. So thankful to God for helping me.
I’ve had many ocd themes before, but none of them have given me as much guilt, anxiety, and shame as POCD has. All these groinal responses, thoughts, feelings, etc. makes me sick of myself and wish I wasn’t me. I feel like all of this is gonna stick with me for the rest of my life and I’m gonna remember all of these things for the rest of my life. I feel like I need to tell my future partner all about this and all about the groinal responses that I have had. I just want all of this to be over and I wish that this POCD never happened. I constantly wish that I could go back to my past OCD themes, they tortured me but compared to POCD I want them back. I wish everyday too that a new theme will come along and all these things will just go away. I feel like my ocd is different than everyone else’s, I feel so alone and I’ve been suicidal over these things and I just want them to all end
Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.
I’ve been struggling with POCD since I was 18 years old, I am now 22. It’s terrifying how quickly it switched from my ocd focusing on a fear of pregnancy, to magical thinking ocd, and then to POCD. I’ve been suffering with it so much so that I’ve convinced myself and have lost friends due to confession compulsions. I have major issues with ruminating, and it frequently goes hand in hand with my relationship OCD and my Suicidal thoughts OCD. (Worrying my partner will leave me because what if I am, and that I can’t take this anymore so I have to __) I often experience things like shame, guilt, grief, and intense emotional pain that manifests itself into nausea and heartburn and sometimes headaches. I’ve tried everything, so this app really is my last resort. I wish to find community here, to know that what I’m facing I’m not alone in my battles with. I know that I’m not, so why does my brain work so hard telling me I am? I love children, I always have. But I get so afraid of being near them. I want to get better. I want to be able to spend time with my family again.
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