Doing ERP on your own? Read this: http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/self-directed-treatment-for-ocd-the-irony-of-doing-the-opposite

@survival5050 Avoidance is a compulsion, so yes, evading her is a compulsion. Talking to her is probably one trigger. I’m sure certain circumstances, events, topics of conversation, etc. trigger you more than others. If you’re not sure if a thought is OCD, treat it as such. There’s no harm in treating a harmless thought as OCD, but there’s plenty of harm in treating an intrusive thought like it’s not, especially when your response is a compulsion. Check out this piece on ROCD: https://ocdla.com/rocd-relationship-ocd-myth-of-the-one-3665

Sounds like ROCD to me. If it wasn’t, you’d simply feel disinterested or even bored at the topic but able to handle that feeling pretty easily.

This is great, thanks!

How do i identify a trigger and a compulsion? sometimes after a lot of time it starts to feel like a normal thing to do

Trigger is something that increases your anxiety (I touching a doorknob that's filled with germs), compulsion is what you do to make yourself feel better (i.e. washing your hands)

The more times you wash your hands after touching a doorknob, the more you're telling your brain that this is something to be fearful of, continuing the OCD cycle

In my experience i started obsessing about being gay, it was a much stronger anxiety than with the other anxieties but it was easier to identify: i had a thought about a man naked i just had to think about that image for a couple of minutes, so it was easier to overcome (i only get a couple of unwanted thoughts and feelings every once in a while) but with my relationship is different sometimes is hard to identify if it is ocd or i simply don't love her, so talking to her is my trigger and evading her is my compulsion?

Now started beinging afraid of ending with no friends because of ocd, and im seeing some patterns

Exactly whenever she talks about love and sex or marriage i start shaking like diesel engine