- Username
- pureolife
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@survival5050 Avoidance is a compulsion, so yes, evading her is a compulsion. Talking to her is probably one trigger. I’m sure certain circumstances, events, topics of conversation, etc. trigger you more than others. If you’re not sure if a thought is OCD, treat it as such. There’s no harm in treating a harmless thought as OCD, but there’s plenty of harm in treating an intrusive thought like it’s not, especially when your response is a compulsion. Check out this piece on ROCD: https://ocdla.com/rocd-relationship-ocd-myth-of-the-one-3665
Sounds like ROCD to me. If it wasn’t, you’d simply feel disinterested or even bored at the topic but able to handle that feeling pretty easily.
This is great, thanks!
How do i identify a trigger and a compulsion? sometimes after a lot of time it starts to feel like a normal thing to do
Trigger is something that increases your anxiety (I touching a doorknob that's filled with germs), compulsion is what you do to make yourself feel better (i.e. washing your hands)
The more times you wash your hands after touching a doorknob, the more you're telling your brain that this is something to be fearful of, continuing the OCD cycle
In my experience i started obsessing about being gay, it was a much stronger anxiety than with the other anxieties but it was easier to identify: i had a thought about a man naked i just had to think about that image for a couple of minutes, so it was easier to overcome (i only get a couple of unwanted thoughts and feelings every once in a while) but with my relationship is different sometimes is hard to identify if it is ocd or i simply don't love her, so talking to her is my trigger and evading her is my compulsion?
Now started beinging afraid of ending with no friends because of ocd, and im seeing some patterns
Exactly whenever she talks about love and sex or marriage i start shaking like diesel engine
i read an article earlier on and it said you should definitely not try erp by yourself and you need an ocd specialist to do erp. i don’t have access to one, so should i not do it?
has anybody been working on doing ERP therapy alone without a therapist? has it worked for you? i’m attempting to do it alone but it is soooo hard. any tips would be wonderful as well :)
After 16 years of letting OCD control my life and experiencing how treatment wouldn't help if I still did compulsions before, during, or after exposures I learned my lesson. I went to treatment for 3 years. It helped, but it was not as effective because I didn't fully embrace ERP's principles and didn't fully commit to it. That was my reality until recently. I finally decided to surrender to OCD. I restarted therapy, this time aiming to face this the right way: resisting my urge to fight, resist, neutralize, and any other compulsion to the best of my humanity. I even reduced my workload in preparation for probably needing time off in case OCD got worse. I really expected this to get bad... seriously bad... the biggest fight of my life. To my surprise. I HAVE BEEN KICKING OCD's ass!!!!!!! And I mean I'm kicking it bad!!! ERP (done well) really works!!!!!! I can't believe it. I can finally see a way out of this, and it is through our fears, not around them. So far, my biggest and most important learnings have been: (1) that this is really not about the content of our fear. Regardless of your type of OCD, the best therapists I've learned from always said it, and its true: it's the same disorder (OCD) leading the charge against us. And (2) this is not about proving our brain is lying to us. You may (and most likely will) reach that conclusion anyways. But it's not the goal of ERP. Actually, you learn to live with the possibility of your fears becoming true. Ever since I learned this, I've seen my anxiety levels come and go on their own, without me needing to do anything about it. It leaves on its own, and it comes weaker with as time progresses. I don't have to do anything, just resist compulsions and move on with life. That has been true for every single trigger I've had and every unique and creative "what if" my brain has created to lure me into the rabbit hole. I'm defeating triggers I developed as far back as 15 years ago!!!! And you know what? I'VE ONLY GROWN STRONGER! Never in my existence with OCD have I felt this hopeful, strong, and courageous. Never have I been more proud of myself! And I can only wish every single one of you experiences this too. ERP works! Please, do it! Seek help and if not available, use self-guided available resources. There are plenty of great books! Do it right!! ERP will bring more anxiety, but then you will see the beauty behind facing your fears and just how strong you are!!!! I never thought I could get to this point!
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