- Date posted
- 1y
New angle on the same existential themes
So, everytime I have a spike, I have the exact same pattern: panic attack, followed by DPDR feelings, followed by depression and then it goes into a loop of anxiety, DPDR, and depression. I've had DR feelings ranging from "what if everyone else is fake? What if it's all a dream? Or a hallucination? How do I know if my thoughts are my own? What even is autopilot if I'm on autopilot? Are good and evil made up concepts? What is our inner voice? How can we see things in our memories?" Now my mind has decided to try this on for size: "what if I'm making everything up? People and all? What if the things I read in articles or even on here are things I've made up just to reassure myself?" Even typing this out is causing cold sweats, so I know it's just my OCD and anxiety, but OCD persists telling me that it's not. I'm exhausted. I'm worried if someone replies "I've felt this before" I'll be like "of course you have because I'm making this all up." And that freaks me out. It all does. I'm so upset.