- Date posted
- 1y
Hocd
Anyone feel like they wake up one day and don’t feel the same anymore?
Anyone feel like they wake up one day and don’t feel the same anymore?
Going from "incredibly horny all the time for women" to "not really feeling interested." It didn't happen all at one time, but it was scary to feel like my interest in women was fading away.
@ConsciousPilot You going through it to?
Sometimes, but that happens to most people. Emotions are fleeting.
@Nica That not what I mean but ok what I mean is that I wake up one day and feel like I don’t have feeling for woman
@JohnKit More like a gradual erosion over a few weeks/months. That's one of the hardest parts about this theme.
@ConsciousPilot What is gradual erosion
@JohnKit Then you need to be more specific. We can’t read minds.
@Nica Hi Nica - i think I understand what he means but your insight would be great. I think he/she is asking can you just wake up one day and feel like you’ve lost feelings for someone. Or lost feelings for the sex you’ve been interested in your life before. I can certainly relate. I woke up one day and was convinced I didn’t feel enough for my then gf. That lead to a complete loss of libido overnight, and consequently to SOOCD.
Since 1993. I didn't know what it was until a few years ago.
@ConsciousPilot Oooh man that a long time you good? I’m straight to and sometime I’m dealing with this hocd is hard
It sucks, but I'm hopeful this treatment will help. Married for 22 years with 2 great kids.
@ConsciousPilot Yo when did you start having hocd did you have thought about same sex in sexual way? And did it stop after a while?
No it didn't start as anything sexual at all. It was just a thought, but it felt like an overwhelming "truth" that I hadn't realized until that moment. Over several months it started to become really uncomfortable to look at guys -- and then the groinal responses started. I completely flipped out.
I can also suggest very strongly to avoid porn. I'm not the least bit prudish, but I found out later that it can be VERY detrimental to recovery.
@ConsciousPilot Bro I go on porn like almost everyday and it hard cause I’m say it I’m addicted to it I admit it cause I got into it when i was young
I'm just becoming aware of my porn addiction -- after 30 years lol! Last week I deleted all my porn bookmarks and am staying away from it. The stuff I got into was definitely getting worse and worse over time. Plus, it was 100% feeding my HOCD.
@ConsciousPilot After 30 dam I’m only 17 and it hard any tip?
I've got an addictive personality, so part of it is knowing how you're wired. But honestly, when I realized it was contributing to my symptoms it just became something I had to do. You can definitely do it!! See if you can do 24 hours, then 48. It will get easier.
@ConsciousPilot After work I might go watch it
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
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