I feel like giving up. Idk what to do anymore. All of these intrusive thoughts idk if they are real or not. I wouldn’t ever hurt my daughter but I feel like I can’t be a father or am capable of it anymore. I’m so down and out of it.
Ocd can be really harsh. But recovery is possible, many people recovered from ocd and also pocd... we nees courage and self compassion...courage to be and stay father despite horrible thoughts and doubts - acting according your values as you would without OCD ...not wanna be perfect, but being with her in present... your daughter needs you... your loved ones will not remmber your thouughts, but your deeds... and you have good deeds...ocd is liar... i believe in you, that you are good person and deserve recovery
@Ray N ..... I'm so sorry your are struggling with this not that it'll make u feel any better but I have a son and I go through the same exact thing. It's awful. It's the worst possible thing to have to go through in you're own head. Idk much but I know OCD lacks any kind of truth or logic. OCD it's fear. I'm filled with fear on the daily and I continue speaking with my therapist and coming on here and reading what others go through and share what I go through and it seems to take the power away a least for a little while. You're a good dad DONT let POCD try and take that from you!
@AAK1 What experiences have you went through with POCD?
@AAK1 And I appreciate your words. I wish we could all just make it go away with a snap of a finger.
@Ray N Well before dealing with this type I had sexual orientation subtype then somehow it morphed it's ugly ass into POCD, I have intrusive thoughts that just pop in whenever they feel like it I've done a lot of work with my therapist and I've been struggling with ocd for 17 years on and off, less off. With my first therapist when I was like 16 I went through CBT and that helped to literally retrain my brain in a sense which I think in turn has helped me kind of along the way. But I have terrible intrusive thoughts that sometimes come with groinal response with totally messed me up in my head bad, but talked to my therapist about it and her not seeming phased in the least bit helped and she explained to me that im not the only one on this earth that struggles with this which also helped me. But idk as far as being a mom and having to somehow cope with this monster inside my head it's hard but I just try to remind myself that these intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of me but a reflection of fear and nonsense and I try to detach myself like I literally picture in my head tearing a sheet of paper or something one half is me and the other is my ocd. And reminding myself that's that's not who I am and tell the thoughts to F off. Idk much though this is just what helps me
Ray, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. OCD is awful and targets what we love most. You’re not alone and can overcome this, it will be hard but never impossible
I know how you feel! I have been feeling the same way & that my kids deserve a better mom. I feel afraid being around them also. It is pure hell. Being a mom was the best thing I have ever done & now this
@Nic12 It seriously is the most disturbing thing in the world. My in laws tell me I’m a great father and my family tells me the same thing too. I know as parents we both do so much and would do anything for our kids but when we get this way it gets so hard to get over.
@Ray N I feel like nobody goes through or thinks the same things as I do and it is comforting to hear so. And I try my best to keep pushing.
@Nic12 Is there a way you think we could communicate outside of the app? I would be open to that.
Just feel like this recovery is impossible and maybe I am just a P.
@bekind94 I can’t lay with my daughter because I feel like something is going to happen, I have thoughts that I have had her touch me and it’s so disturbing. I feel afraid to be alone with her, and I can’t be a father anymore. I feel like I’m not good enough for her. But on the other side everyone is telling me everything is okay and I just don’t see it that way.
@bekind94 What experiences have you had?
I had to leave my fiancee and 6 month old daughter because one day out of nowhere I had intrusive thought about hurting my child. Now I feel detached from her and afraid il hit her if I stay. This feels like my life is over...
I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m so fed up of the way my OCD makes me feel, plagued with thoughts that I hate my son, I don’t love my partner, I want to die, my life is pointless. I’m trying so hard, I’m doin ERP, I’m trying to carry on my life as normal but I just feel SO depressed. I am convinced that I am stuck like this forever now, clearly nothing is working and I’m just ready to give up 😢
I feel like giving up. I don’t want to but it’s so hard and the only person that can make it better is me. But I’ve given up so many things that are important to me because of my OCD. I’ve isolated myself so much and given up on my dreams because of all this fear. Sometimes I feel like I need to protect everyone else from me and my doubts and insecurities. I feel like I’m hurting everyone or have the potential to let everyone down. I hate this.
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