looking for a word of advice

I recently changed my nieces diaper and gave her a bath and I didn’t think much of it. I checked her lower area to make sure she didn’t have a rash and to clean her of course. In my mind I wasn’t thinking of anything bad and I was being a good aunt making sure she was clean and changing her so she was comfortable and ready to go play. Later that day I started to have intrusive thoughts. I started to think I am a terrible person for changing her since I am not her mother and more and more intrusive thoughts started to come. I was so scared to look at my own niece. How can I become a mother in the future if I had these thoughts. I know it’s my ocd and I know I am not these thoughts but it hurts and it scares me. I want to some day have kids but I wonder if it’s possible with POCD.

i haven’t been diagnosed w/ ocd but my therapist says i have like symptoms of it but i recently just stared dealing w/ Pocd (hell) that my therapist says was triggered from the sound of freedom which absolutely breaks my heart bc i was so excited to support the movie but now i feel like it’s one of my biggest regrets. i feel as if i would’ve never watched the movie i would’ve possibly never started dealing w/ this. But my biggest scare now w/ this is having my own kids . i’m F18 and throughout my whole teenhood my biggest goal and dream was to become a mother a GOOD mother. everything i tried doing was motivated by the thoughts of giving my kids the absolute best one day. Now i feel like it’s my biggest fear w/ dealing w/ this and i don’t know how i’d even explain to someone like my bf for example, of the reason why i don’t want to have kids anymore ( though i still really do but i just literally feel like can’t because of this 💔💔) are there any mothers out there w/ Pocd w/ kids out here? how do you cope w/ this? should i even have kids?? i also feel as if it kinda bad rn. i was doing good for a couple weeks and last night it just rushed back for no reason. i’ve learned what groinal responses are ( it absolutely scared the shit out of me before i found out what it was and i was just not okay and sort still am not when it happens. it just feel too real and i end up sobbing god i hate this ) and i feel as if i’m constantly body checking myself especially when i see a cute baby or children tiktok i love babies n kids id never wanna hurt them in such away i rather pass away. i just can’t believe why this this happening i used to be so much more happier before this and i really don’t know how to deal w/ this and what i should do😖💔💔

It’s been almost 5 months since this has started. It’s been on and off. Ive come to realize it’s probably POCD to fitting into every symptoms. Ive never been diagnosed with OCD but I do have anxiety and am constantly worried about everything. I dont know if anyone here can help reassure me that this happens to people and i am not what i think i am because it is basically taking over my thoughts and life. Seeing that i have every symptom, am i sure that i do? ugh this is so stressful. Never in my life have i ever had this thought. Never ever thought of children in that way. Growing up I’ve always liked older people older. I never had crushes on any child. Or did I and it just didn’t stick out to me? It’s gotten to the point where I can’t take these instrusive thoughts anymore either.. and are they even intrusive because I feel like I’m forcing myself to think about them just to see if I give myself a response. I have kids and have friends with kids and I can’t stop have the thoughts of maybe hurting them even though I never have before!! Then it makes me fixate on them and why am I fixating on just them if I wasn’t someone with POCD??? just the terrible person I’m scared that I actually am. It’s no other kids just the ones I’m familiar with or have known forever. Can you just turn into a P and not realize it until wayyyy older? I’m so stuck im not sure what to do.