I was practicing an instrument and I was annoyed by my mum because she gave me unwarranted advices about my playing, so after she noticed that I was a little bit upset she wanted to give me a hug to make up but I repeatedly said no because I wasn't in the mood; she tried to do it again so I did a little push to her arms but she weighs much less than me so it looked like I pushed her hard. Did I commit assault?
It sounds like you’re obsessively deeply interacting with a singular, quick moment and in turn over analyzing the situation. You did not commit assault, but it is important to understand why the situation happened as it did so as to work on never resulting to physical violence or feeding into that if it is a compulsion.
@beverlylady When your mum went to give you a hug, she was expressing remorse for how she made you feel. At that point, you too should give up your negative emotions from that interaction so as to let go as well. I think to ease your thoughts of committing assault, you should directly apologize to your mum and explain that you did not mean to do that or hurt her.
@beverlylady Thank you for the advice
@beverlylady - I actually don’t think that would have the proper effect on treating the obsession.
@beverlylady I apologised, but she said she doesn't event remember it happening and didn't even think that I was upset, she thought I was joking like I usually do. I don't know, maybe I was overthinking it too much. I was pushing her arms away but I feel like I used too much force than necessary.
This is a interesting thread. These are all just my personal perspectives, so please let me have my say , even those that have different opinions, thank you all in advance. Leaving the OCD component out of it for a moment, the circumstances presented to definitely warrant a sincere apology by the person that did the pushing at the very least . And moving forward do not repeat this action again in the future with your parent at a minimum you acted inappropriately. Taking all things into account after apologizing sincerely, do something kind and special for your parent and make sure it is sincere and not fake . Then don’t dwell on it and move forward with positive intentions.
I’m so glad you apologized! The next time you wonder whether you’re overthinking or find yourself ruminating a situation and wondering what really happened or whether you acted wrongly, this could serve as an example as to how your OCD is likely causing you to think that way! And if you’re still not sure, it’s good just to be honest and inquire about the situation so that everything can be peacefully resolved :)
@beverlylady Y’all stop over analyzing the situation and let the person who posted this sit with the discomfort of uncertainty which is what ERP is and what this app NOCD encourages. I know you mean well but I’ve been here doing ERP for a while now, and just trust me, please: Trying to get to the bottom of things or engage in a back and forth convo about this is only going to feed and fuel the posters OCD in the long run.
@FJustRightOCD Also I’m sure no one’s ocd here is going to like my comment and going to list all the reasons why the responses were important but ocd is ocd and it thrives off reassurance seeking as a compulsion, confessing, etc.
It's okay, they were trying to help. Still I recognize that I was wrongly asking for reassurance, it has been a while since I've done that. Thanks for reminding me, I gotta get back on track and let it be.
@Nameless000 I know they meant really well. I’m just giving a reminder, out of wanting all of us to work on our ocd. 😉
you didn’t! it wasn’t your intention to do so, first of all, but you also told her no. even if she was trying to give you a hug as an apology, everyone needs to respect everyone’s boundaries- including parents, but a lot of people won’t talk about that
I would say no.
are you sure? I feel like I committed domestic violence
@Nameless000 No matter what anyone says OCD is going to plant a seed a doubt and struggle to believe it. The only way to truly get rid of the discomfort long term is to sit with this discomfort now of not knowing whether you did or didn’t, and not seeking reassurance. Reassurance seeking may seem like it helps, but it’s a compulsion that will only make your OCD worse.
Thanks everyone for helping me and giving me advices. I apologised and clarified with my mum, she said I didn't push her and that she doesn't even remember it happening it because she didn't think I was being serious so didn't take me seriously and forgot immediately. But I still did push her arms with more power than I wish I did, but it wasn't in a violent manner like I was thinking and I guess that was me obsessing and overthinking it. Still it doesn't excuse my poor behaviour, and I regret acting on impulse and emotions, especially to my mum who didn't have any ill intention. I want to act and respond to things more maturely regardless of ocd making me overthinking this specific time.
This comment feels like a youtuber insincerely apologising on the internet. I feel like an asshole either way, one for the act itself and two because I was overwhelmed again by obssessive thoughts when I thought I had overcome it.
@Nameless000 Be kind to yourself. OCD recovery is a process eith ups and downs.
MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ this happened 2 years ago after i was sexually assaulted, it started of an obsession for me where i was scared i would do the same thing and i was overthinking and kind of physical contact but this memory of feel like i did something wrong, my mum was coming to say goodnight to everyone and i think this was a compulsion and i put my hand spread out on the bed and i thought if she leans over she will see the hand and i remember thinking it will be okay and then i remember she leaned over and he r body actually touched my hand and i remember i froze and i don’t know why i didn’t move there was lots of thoughts racing and i thought if i was touching her private area she would of moved but she didn’t but im scared i did and i don’t know if it was just her stomach don’t know, but this has plagued me for so long i remember wanting to commit suicide after it happened and i couldn’t sleep the whole night and i was extremely distressed the the point of self harming my self, in the moment when it happened i completely froze i don’t know what happens but i know for a fact i wouldn’t of wanted to make my mum feel uncomfortable or anything and in the moment it’s like i blacked out i don’t really know it’s very difficult to explain but i told her which i know was a confession and i shouldn’t have but she said there was nothing wrong and she wouldn’t lie to me, and i remember telling her and she was completely unphased and even hugged me, but i feel absolutely broken i don’t know how i can heal from this or if i even deserve to
I know this might be bad but I used to have some serious cuteness aggression with my cat and I used to like be a little too much with my cat like tap her head repeatedly and sometimes lightly hit her. I would also kind of annoy her a lot when she was trying to rest. I never did anything out of malice. I just have issues with cuteness and I know that’s not an excuse. I just feel really bad now.. I don’t think she’s ever like been hurt or anything, just annoyed and aggravated. Do I deserve bad things now?
This may make someone uncomfortable. My brother and I have shared a room and bed for our whole lives. I’m a girl by the way. When I was 10 and he was 8, I very slightly pulled down his diaper to smell his fart when he was asleep. For some reason, I liked the smell of farts at that age and I don’t anymore. I’m really scared that I abused him. I told him about this and he doesn’t care and he said it’s not a big deal since we were young. But the guilt is eating me alive. I feel like I sexually abused my own brother. Just to be clear, I’m not attracted to him AT ALL. I never have been. The reason I’m so guilty is because he was asleep. And I don’t remember if I had done it for arousal or not. But if I did, then it would be sexual abuse. I would never ever do anything like this today. I looked it up on AI and it said that this was sexual abuse. I’m terrified. I’ve never ever had thoughts of abusing him and I’m scared that this could possibly be abuse. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep because I feel like I abused my own brother. I’ve had crippling anxiety all day and I’ve had several panic attacks. Please help me. And also please be honest. Am I an abuser?
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